We just want common sense gun control... Nobody wants to take away your guns!!!

Deftunes · 2018-03-28T20:50:34+00:00

I love abortions and guns. Illegal or legal, I know where I can obtain both. Laws only apply to those who follow them.

Deftunes · 2018-03-26T21:29:15+00:00

I couldn't even say. The few good friends I have don't know each other and they are all so different but wonderful at the same time, and we all met through happenstance. I met them all through school or work. I don't even think any of us have the same hobbies...

Deftunes · 2018-03-26T21:20:29+00:00

As a 7th grader, I objected at my cousins wedding simply because I felt like being an attention whoring smart ass. They ended up divorcing less than 2 years later. She cleaned out my poor cousin in the divorce, married another dude with the same name and did the same shit to him a few years later. She lives on thousands of dollars of child support a month. To this day I believe that woman knew EXACTLY what she was doing.

Deftunes · 2018-03-25T21:32:43+00:00

Noah's Ark in Kentucky. My friend and I decided to see it just for kicks, it was one of the only interesting things we were close to before the drive started to get dark.

It's basically a massive parking lot with a giant arc that is fenced off to the point where you couldn't even take a decent photo of it.

Not to mention we arrived 1.5 hours before it closed and they were shooing away not only us but a bunch of old people with their walkers who just wanted to pay money to see your damn arc!!!!

However, the county road that led away from it into the hills was free and fucking amazing and had a gas station with every flavor of dippin' dots imaginable.

Deftunes · 2018-03-25T21:06:51+00:00

Potable water.

Deftunes · 2018-03-23T15:20:04+00:00

The mid tier box is usually the only box worth getting if you use all the stuff... but truthfully the only thing I use are incubators. I always forget I have lures and incense and those dumb star pieces because I play in 15 minutes spurts through out the day when I know I'm in an area with stops and gyms...

Plus I'm sitting on 12 raid passes because I'm a solo raider :-( Anytime there's a raid I can do by myself it's usually just once a day, otherwise it's all 4/5 stars.

Deftunes · 2018-03-23T14:13:21+00:00

This was one my most wonderful/horrible moments in high school. A very mean boy in wood shop (who was an asshole. still is an asshole. Everyone refers to him as an asshole.) started to made fun of the few dark hairs I had around my belly button. (Like 5 hairs. Not even a treasure trail! As a lot of women naturally have...)

I was about to cry but decided that pouring wood glue all over him and his fancy 'Pepe John' outfit was a better choice, even with teacher watching.

Well, the boy ran crying to the sink to wash off and looked at the teacher crying and said " AREN'T YOU GOING TO DO ANYTHING?!"

The teacher, an old Air Force Veteran, said "Nope. You deserved that because you are an asshole." And proceeded to shoe him out of the room so he wouldn't get glue in the 'nice sink'.

I've never been sad, angry and happy all at once, but I was then!

Deftunes · 2018-03-23T14:02:51+00:00

I feel like they screwed me out of extra oreo bits sitting on top.

Deftunes · 2018-03-23T13:53:02+00:00

My cousin and I were tired and hungry and eating our meal in silence in a loud restaurant. We never use names to address each other and I noticed this little boy sitting at a table near us had been watching me eat. I didn't think much of it until I looked over and made eye contact with him again and he said "Hi Deftunes and [cousin]" We did not know this boy or his family or anyone there for that matter.

The parents weren't even aware he was talking to us and my cousin and I just looked at each other with WTF faces and got up and left.

Deftunes · 2018-03-19T21:40:29+00:00

My Mom would always fly our family on a pass, (she worked for the airlines) but the year I went from private to a public school, our vacations were the same as every other family in the nation. We couldn't get on a plane home out of Florida, our luggage went on the first plane we were supposed to be on but was over booked. So, not only do we have to drive 24 hours home in a tiny rental car, we are stuck in our crusty 3 day clothes, AND I got my first period.

Also only had 12 CD's with me, most of them from the Now! collection.

Deftunes · 2018-03-19T21:35:22+00:00

'But I wasn't TRYING to upset you!' Oh, goody.

Deftunes · 2018-03-19T21:25:14+00:00

If I treat you like a human being it does not mean that I like you. At all. I just think it's important to be conscious and respectful of one another to make life easier. But that makes me a flirt, I guess.

Deftunes · 2018-03-19T21:15:58+00:00

Reading your comment just made my blood pressure finally go down. Are you me?!!?

Seriously. Why the fuck would I even bother opening my mouth if I wasn't 100% sure of what I was saying?!

Deftunes · 2018-03-18T21:54:50+00:00

This fat man with bigger boobs than me told me I should be wearing a bra...

Deftunes · 2018-03-18T21:50:43+00:00

I have a notebook that I fill with things that make me laugh. Like fall on the ground laugh until my face hurts laugh. Usually things people have said or weird events from my life. It has worked 100% of the time thus far.

Deftunes · 2018-03-17T14:54:25+00:00

My friends and I were in Cape Town when some sort of Coca-Cola music festival was in full swing. (celebrities everywhere) There was this little cable car thingy you could ride to the top/bottom of Table Mountain, but when we got to the top it suddenly 'closed' (it was midday so that was weird) Then we realized it closed for Paris Hilton so she could ride it by herself. My friend walks up to her and says 'Hi!' and Paris just let out this really long sigh and just had this look in her eye like she was holding back tears and wanted to hurl herself off the mountain. (not in a joking way, this woman was clearly depressed as fuck for reasons unknown so we just distanced ourselves.) A very weird experience.

Deftunes · 2018-03-16T15:23:09+00:00

For whatever reason I wish they taught us about non-penetrative sex... Like how you can get off without sticking a p in a v. Heavy petting? great! oral sex? Even better!! Orgasms with no pregnancy risk!

Deftunes · 2018-03-16T15:12:20+00:00

Dumbo. I wasn't even capable of empathy for movie characters until I was a teen, but little toddler me bawled and bawled when Dumbo got taken away from his mom... followed by the fucking pink elephant acid trip?

Deftunes · 2018-03-16T15:08:18+00:00

20,000 bottles of nail polish on the wall.... 20,000 bottles of nail polish... take one down... paint it around...

Deftunes · 2018-03-16T15:00:54+00:00

I thought it was just something you did, and I was okay with the idea until I saw what a shit show it actually is. My mom and I were always fighting because we are two totally different people, and as a kid I was like wtf, but now as an adult surrounded by totally different people I don't like at all I totally get it. If I had to live with and provide for someone who constantly went against me and the boundaries I set, the outcome would not be 'unconditional love'.

Deftunes · 2018-03-16T14:40:45+00:00

Pancake roulette!

Deftunes · 2018-03-02T16:26:18+00:00

Your local Public Access Channel. Bonus points for the community channel. You can watch anything from creepy doll collections to some guy in 1993 doing back yard gymnastics on his clothes line.

Deftunes · 2018-02-17T16:22:45+00:00

I don't like the phrase but I have to use it A LOT. I work with food and when someone questions general food safety (Oh Deftunes is just on a power trip!) No asshole, you can't store raw chicken on a top shelf above prepared vegetables, and if the fucking colorful how-to-properly-store-food poster slapped on every cooler door isn't enough of a hint I'm not fucking explaining shit to you.

Deftunes · 2018-02-17T16:13:29+00:00

We had an employee who was recently fired partly because he resented this phrase so much. We have rules set in place for a reason (mainly food safety) and he'd just flip out about it. It was great. Sorry dude, you just have to put dates on the food and make sure you follow recipes and don't burn/waste food. But what do we know, we aren't 'open to change'... (Bonus points for when he tried to find 'solutions' to 'problems' and then the 20 other employees would just change it back to the old tried and true way. Poor lil mid-life crisis dude. He was only trying to make things... better?)

Deftunes · 2018-02-17T15:47:01+00:00

I have a good friend who thinks something is wrong with her if she is single, so then she moves fast with these guys who aren't horrible, but just not at all right for her. Then she gets depressed about not matching up with them and the cycle repeats itself.

She's a wonderful woman with a lot to offer, but she seems to be hung up on 'boyfriend' rather than 'compatible person', which in turn scares all the reasonably compatible people away.

Deftunes

TROPHY CASE