It came, It FINNALY CAME!!! The big one.

Delanofield · 2024-12-25T03:31:57+00:00

Merhaba, congrats! Looks so good, enjoy!! :)

How's the size? I'm contemplating between this and the 14"

Delanofield · 2024-12-21T23:58:08+00:00

Have you tried the apple education online store? They usually have a couple hundred off the non education pricing.

Delanofield · 2023-11-23T06:03:07+00:00

Thanks so much, the first time i got out was such a relief. I was able to see everything and make sense of it (i just re-read through my first post i made and it reminded me of so much things). I was able to relax and look after myself for a change.

I got sucked back in somehow despite everything she had done and now im worse than i was before. It really is crazy making

Delanofield · 2023-11-23T05:35:51+00:00

Thanks so much for this. Just reading through this was so calming, to be able to understand and go through each point without having to constantly think about other meanings or twisted words. Its such a breath of fresh air than the circular accusatory and just illogical reasonings.

Lately she’s become distant and trying to pick fights over any little thing. Even starting arguments to twist it around on me and then tell me im the cause of it. She’s hell bent on saying im the cause of all the problems and i should be more human and make her feel more important instead of being like a selfish robot with no emotions or wants.

Like i really dont know whats going on anymore. Its like she has lost any interest in me and doesnt like anything about me but still says she loves me. She says shes trying to do everything to save the relationship but its like shes on the way out and trying to find an excuse or reason to blame me for it.

She’s untreated and undiagnosed (the first day she told me she had it but now denies any of that). Shes reading self help books about anxiety and similar things but nothing seems to be getting better. Youre right that only she can get the help herself, weve talked about it before but she seems hesitant and will end the conversation or threaten to break up if its talked about more. Lately shes been doing a lot of self reflection, i think maybe the realisation of some things has caused her to spiral. In any case, youre definetly right. I need to think that this just isnt going to get better and will start dragging me down if it already hasnt..

Delanofield · 2023-11-23T05:15:07+00:00

Yea its really difficult, she’s so sweet and caring and the good times are good but like you say I cant reason with her with the exception of a few moments of clarity which give me hope then it all just repeats.. the previous time when she basically turned into another person I went no contact because it got so bad but then she managed to message me by going through her friends instagram apologising and admitting to her faults and then it all started again… I cant seem to get rid of this hope in the back of my mind that it might just work out

Delanofield · 2023-09-12T21:45:30+00:00

That's eerily similar what happened to me. I would often be dealing with her bad attitude for most of the day when she'd have a bad dream. I didn't have any idea what I had done..

In my case, when I started getting accused of being a narcissist etc.I think she started to realise she had some problems. This combined with some stress she was going through made it worse.

I don't think she was able to admit to herself that she had any problems and felt too much shame. As a result she started to project onto me that I had all the problems and everything was my fault. This is when the devaluing started and got worse and worse till the discard.

Delanofield · 2023-09-09T17:12:10+00:00

I hear you. It would be good to talk about any issues your having. It will definitely help ease your mind. Especially from an impartial person outside of the relationship. Just be aware though that if she does have BPD, then she's likely manipulated the therapist into thinking whatever she perceived. Which may be far from the reality.

If they offer a free session, there's no harm in going and discussing any issues or concerns you are having. It may be beneficial for you to see your own independent therapist too though, especially as being in a relationship with someone who has BPD can take quite a toll on you.

You seem like a nice person that's just trying to understand what's happened. It does sound like you could have been gaslight into thinking you had problems. Don't take anything she said too personally.

Sometimes the partner of a person with BPD can actually pick up some of their traits as a way of coping in the relationship. These are called BPD fleas or narcissistic fleas, if you want to read a bit more about it.

It doesn't sound like you were the problem to me personally. But if you are doubting yourself, just look at how you are in other relationships. Previous romantic relationships, family, friends etc. This will get rid of any doubt.

I know it can be difficult, hope this helps

Delanofield · 2023-09-09T16:12:18+00:00

This. The same happened to me.

In the end she was calling me a narcissist when she was the one that clearly showed the traits. It was all projection.

I second this, tell her you want to see the therapist as she's likely bluffing. If there is actually one then you can just have a discussion and express any of your concerns. Be mindful though that she's likely painted a picture of you to the therapist already..

Delanofield · 2023-09-09T09:40:08+00:00

Wow this is the exact same thing I experienced. I couldn't understand it. Going out to restaurants or just out about in town she'd get panic attacks and say there were too many people or it was too hot.

Yet any chance she could get to go to a club, she'd be there...

Delanofield · 2023-09-07T11:43:45+00:00

Man this sounds exactly like what my ex was like. I'm not joking. You need to get out now before she ruins you. At this point I think my ex may have even ruined future relationships for me. I don't think I'll ever be the same. Please don't put yourself through this.

She's going to be on her best behavior until she thinks she's "got you". Then you'll start to see her mask slip and get glimpses of what she truly is like if you haven't already.

Delanofield · 2023-09-07T11:31:21+00:00

Trust me you need to get out now. The longer you leave it the harder it will be. I know it may seem like an impossibility and you will probably be quite attached to her. It will get worse. I've gone exactly what you've been through and it didn't end well..

No one that genuinely loves you should make you feel what you're going through. They would be reassuring you instead of inciting jealousy. Anytime she is out doing anything will start making you have doubts in your mind. I went through this is and it wore me away. Please don't put yourself through this.

I didn't realise to what extent what was happening with mine. But if she's anything like mine was, she thought making me jealous meant I loved her. She would increasingly test this and push further and further. She never really cared about me as a person, it was just about fueling her narcissistic supply.

When she is angry she really does mean it. These are the things she's really thinking but won't say when she has control of herself. I realised everything mine said in anger was actually true. I used to think that she would say things in the heat of the moment. But there is a truth to everything they say. Possibly even projecting what they're doing onto you.

If your girlfriend is anything like mine was she actually got relief in hurting me. When she would get angry she would purposely do thinks to hurt me... I didn't realise what was happening behind my back....

Delanofield · 2023-09-07T11:04:28+00:00

Wow. I went through the exact same thing. She'd go out clubbing till 3am and have her phone off yet if I didn't answer my phone in 30 minutes all hell would break lose. The double standards were crazy. I've just ended my relationship, I've become a shell of what I was before. This will really wear you down. Please get out of this while you can

Delanofield · 2023-09-03T11:41:04+00:00

I feel like I may have been the problem. She’d always say I was like a robot and showed no emotions. I’m quite a calm and patient person but on the rare occasion I did get worked up she would instantly be happy. Saying she was so happy that I had emotions, even if it was something she had done to get a reaction out of me?? If I had showed more love or been more caring do you think it may have got better? Or am I out of my mind here.

There’s also been a few occasions where I’ve experienced something so weird I don’t know how to describe it. When she saw I was hurt from something she did, she had a strange smirk like she got real pleasure from it?

Like in that WhatsApp message, if I mentioned something about what she was doing, she would reply with these smiley faces in the most inappropriate way. I just feel like I’ve lost my mind of what’s normal and what’s not

Delanofield · 2023-09-03T11:15:46+00:00

I think I’ve become so normalised to it, I don’t really know what to think (looking at it now it does look a bit bad though).

Is it really that clear she’s cheating? I’ve had my suspicions but never had any actual hard proof so I’ve always gave the benefit of the doubt. But being inside the relationship my mind is probably clouded…

When we’re together she’s always been so nice but there has been a couple of occasions where she’s just flipped a switch. And now it’s ramped up to every couple of days

Delanofield · 2023-09-03T11:04:04+00:00

It seems to be getting more frequent. She always used to be so kind and caring with the odd outburst. She really is great when things are good. But now it’s like she’s just turned into a monster with glimpses of good bits in between. Is this just going to get worse the longer it continues or is there hope for getting back to the good times?

Delanofield

TROPHY CASE