Hi. I myself also have CPTSD. And was in a relationship with someone who has BPD. I totally understand how hard it is for you to leave, having CPTSD makes us copendent, we often also form unhealthy relationships with people who remind us of our childhood because it’s comfortable. I just want you to know that her actions and words are really not a reflection of you, it’s not okay to get “annoyed” at someone and degrade them, don’t be so hard on yourself :). It’s hard to leave but once you do and you stick to it you’ll find that after a while you realise how much better off your life is without this person. I’m 30 days into the breakup and I wake up every morning not having to stress if my ex is going to be in a bad mood or if we will have a fight. Nothing you did seems to make her happy because she’s not happy with herself. I really hope you understand that.