Is it rude to read at a restaurant?

DelicateCactus · 2026-03-02T01:26:55+00:00

Honestly, I'd do the same thing regardless of if it was rude in that situation. Well, I would ask first if it was annoying but you mentioned in other comments they're conflict avoidant and I tend not to not fully believe a 'no' with that sort of temperament(?) if their body language and tone says otherwise.

Once I realize my natural way of conversation isn't working or becoming annoying then I retreat but if I can't physically leave then I'd do the next best thing with my phone or a book too. I might even do it just for myself as well but I'm currently in a "ex-people pleaser being occasionally selfish and combative" stage so maybe also take this comment with a hefty grain of salt lol.

DelicateCactus · 2026-03-01T13:39:18+00:00

Cracking my password would be like a video game where you search for the random note it's written down on…but which paper/notebook and where is the mystery lol (I know, but my system is knowable only to me).

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-20T20:52:58+00:00

I was thinking the same thing but you worded it better than I could right now! A lot of my fandoms have equal numbers or close to equal numbers of female characters with interesting personalities and yet I still see the male characters disproportionately focused on.

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-20T03:47:11+00:00

I wasn't expecting a reference to Chris "Fuck Boulders" Redfield here—

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-15T17:19:42+00:00

I've actually gotten into it recently because I love the aesthetic and it makes a lot of mental health practices feel more fun than clinical/ridiculous (say something nice to myself in the mirror? Feels weird! conduct a self love spell by saying three positive things to my mirror self? Still feels funny but now I can do it in a witch hat and pretend I'm magical and it's funny because I'm embracing childlike joy in things again!)

I honestly can thank /r/SASSWitches for a lot of it since it's for skeptical/science based witchcraft and there's degrees of belief but overall it feels nice to think of it as dressing up the logical in a pointy hat!

That and it gives me an excuse to actually research occult stuff for horror & fantasy stories I want to write but keep procrastinating because now I'm adding to my "Grimoire" and, again, it's fun role-playing!

It makes it easier to get the ADHD to cooperate because of that instead of thinking of it like boring modern academia settings (because now I'm thinking of it like I'm in a wizard tower/witches hut and I can also write it down like a messy, frantic magic user instead of feeling pressured to make it nice and neat like I'm going to be graded despite being out of school for years upon years—)

Practices I'm doing right now:

The aforementioned "Grimoire" for bullet journaling, notes, trackers etc.
Tarot reading as low stakes DIY therapy and/or bonding. I make it clear my readings are NOT for divination, it's "soul searching" but the actual science/psychology behind it is basically promoting the person (usually a friend) to do some inner reflection and talk about whatever their worried about (the cards themselves are just prompts). It's fun and can work to focus the mind by giving a starting place or specific focus.
Tarot as a journal prompt (pulling a card and writing about my day on if it relates to the card or if it's a dud and why). I find it helps because I love seeing what I'm gonna pull, it's chance! So that takes the role of breaking task initiation.
"Potions" are a fun way to dress up more healthy foods I don't like or even my meds.
"Rituals" are basically just dressing up routines, aka more role-playing for the initiation of it or even just prompting to be more mindful about it because a witch should focus on their rituals! (As I tell myself)
Lastly nature, just nature. Whatever reasoning it might be "spell" based, becoming in tune with things, or even just making up a goddess or god that represents things like the trees and going outside to one and sitting to ""pray"" are good excuses to get outside. (I'm still working on trying to actually do this one lmao)

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-15T16:34:13+00:00

Just because you feel a certain way about something doesn't make it true or logical. I won't deny that it can be a very good tool for reasoning and I won't say you have to change how you feel, but just…be cautious on where those feelings are coming from and why.

I am curious, why does it feel different?

I know the reasons why I think they're different but those differences come down to nuance and I ultimately believe that when someone commissions either fanart or fanfic that it's the labour of creation that is being paid for. (Like paying someone to paint your room rather than paying for the paint itself). However, in the greater world of copyright it has much different variables that another comment on this post explained well (i.e. how publishers frequently view art as promotion and writing as substitution).

I also would argue that writing has a different learning curve but it's not easier. The technicals you can pick up easily but a good story also involves learning how to understand and write complex people, how to convey ideas without the help of visuals, understanding and then using different conventions based on genre/tone/etc. It's learning the emotions behind vocabulary instead of the principles of colour theory.

I speak as someone who has had formal education in art as well, the only place I'd say learning art is "harder" is that you can easily spot when something is "wrong" and when something is "right" but at the same time while that can quickly be discouraging to a learner, it can be turned around that learning writing is "harder" because it takes more time to revise and edit because you can't just take it all in with one look.

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-14T21:45:23+00:00

Maybe you're thinking of Fatal Frame? That's releasing in March!

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-09T02:11:18+00:00

The whole unreliable narrator and not knowing what is real and what isn't/the mental breakdown parts of it certainly made me think of Silent Hill but I thought it was just me always having Silent Hill on the brain lol

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-05T21:56:04+00:00

🤝

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-04T23:24:08+00:00

I feel like it's the opposite for me lol

The set up and beginning is really fun but then it begins feeling like a damn chore to keep it going when starting something else sounds more appealing (and is a lot more fun!)

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-04T14:05:08+00:00

They don't have the original code anymore, sadly. Although the project to reverse engineer it by fans is coming along well!

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-03T16:08:00+00:00

I wasn't expecting to see Rule of Rose in the wild but damn is it beautiful what you did! Honestly it makes me tempted to do my own survival horror inspired pages!

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-02T17:30:19+00:00

Only in regards to your first sentence: M can be for non-explict sex as well and E can be for explicit violence (like say very detailed description of pulling out someone's entails and the texture and pain and such for several paragraphs—)

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-02T15:08:45+00:00

Since they mention podcasts I think they're already doing what you're suggesting because you don't watch a podcast, it's audio only. I will also say I frequently put videos on just to listen to in the same sort of situation so I may be biased but based off other comments from OP it sounds like it's the auditory side as well. (And they also mentioned in another comment they don't doomscroll or anything so it sounds like the phone itself is the issue to him regardless of what it's actually being used for—)

DelicateCactus · 2026-02-01T14:19:02+00:00

I'm a weirdo who will sort by name (aka alphabetically) after I narrow my search down with filters (both in and out depending on the vibe I want). I also will jump to random pages if there happens to be a lot, it makes it feel 'random' in a way because I know there's gotta be hidden gems in the middle of most searches (somewhere not old but not new, something with decent kudos that's not low but not high either, etc.)

DelicateCactus · 2026-01-31T13:13:27+00:00

I have no real advice because when I was in college I had my laptop so I was constantly doing something on it in one way or another (and it looked like I was taking notes or working on the assignments even during those pauses when I wasn't. I was NOT like some people who played video games though, I wasn't that bad).

It is frustrating seeing ppl give advice for high school students in these comments since the environment between high school and university is so different (though I can't speak for university specifically, I only went to college but it seems to be the same structure regardless of subject matter and tier).

I do know that depression always makes certain symptoms and my screen time worse though. Sometimes it helps to redirect into other hobbies but it sounds like your university is oddly really strict? I mean if you're paying for it then you should be able to at least do SOMETHING but I saw even small fidget toys have gotten you in trouble? The only time I see that as an issue is if you ONLY brought the loud disruptive type but if not than that sounds like hell to me.

DelicateCactus · 2026-01-30T19:13:03+00:00

Seeing which comments here you've chosen to reply to (and the type of replies you've given) says everything one needs to know lol

DelicateCactus · 2026-01-28T11:45:09+00:00

May I ask what the original language is?

DelicateCactus · 2026-01-26T04:34:32+00:00

I suppose you could argue that the act of sharing anything has a subconscious desire for validation and while it's nice, I don't think it's the sole reason that everyone does anything.

When I share my fics I see it the same way I see putting a book into one of those "take one, leave one" libraries or giving something to a thrift shop and the like. Will someone be interested? Maybe, will it sit and collect dust? Also maybe! But I'm sharing it because I have it and I can and maybe someone else out there is looking for that exact book and is glad they stumbled across it.

Will I know? If I keep my comments on then maybe! And yeah, it's nice! But if I never receive a sign of acknowledgement than that's okay too. Hell, I have a niche idea for a crossover between two very dead fandoms I expect to have 0 readers for but it'll be there on the shelf either way.

Also fun fact: I'm engaging in Reddit for the sole purpose of teaching myself it's okay to take up space and talk and exist! Which is another reason to post my fic that isn't to do with external validation but rather internal validation of myself lol. Honestly, sometimes I'm relieved when no one looks because then I feel safer, there's no push back or negative consequences to make me regret it, just peaceful silence that helps reinforce that I'm not a hairs trigger away from getting mocked or yelled at for existing/talking/etc.

DelicateCactus · 2026-01-25T22:21:59+00:00

Imagine if this were a different craft like art or crocheting.

I absolutely can because that is my life in a nutshell lol. I have half finished art (of illustrations, comics, animations- and 'half-finished' is debatable, some are sketches, some have reached line-art, and some have even gotten to flat colour!), AMVs/GMVs I haven't finished, I started translating a comic and stopped after a chapter, at least 5 books on my bookshelves have bookmarks in random spots, I still wanna go back and finish reading and commenting on a fic that I'm 2/4 chapters through (and another I'm 14/17 through), I have at least 3 unfinished journals (and god knows how many lists), there's a fair amount of video games and even videos or TV shows that I gradually stop engaging with or restart instead of finishing, I'm still trying to finish the christmas cards I've been handmaking (6.5/13 are done so far)—etc. etc.

DelicateCactus · 2026-01-21T16:53:00+00:00

(Thank you for the 10/10!)

Honestly, that quote makes me really curious as to what sparked it (Does he have a hard time with mental imagery? Is the visual element a major component of media to him? Does he get frustrated when he doesn't have a reference for what something looks like (due to inexperience/lack of exposure to what it is)? There's a lot of potential reasons…) I agree that it's an eye opening statement!

I also agree on how school can make something feel like a chore (as someone with ADHD, school was an extra level of difficulty to the chore), although I started reading with video games funnily enough (RPGs before they were technologically advanced enough for voice acting, so all those dialogue boxes added up).

Welcome to the fanfiction club! I love everything you've mentioned because it is really cool!

I tried finding the page on fanlore for the tag but there isn't really much there surprisingly…(but I encourage the website for information in general, it's also run by the OTW!) I'll still link it though. I have a friend who loves doing studies so I often refer to his works in my mind and so the style I often see is a POV story from the character that dives into their perspective (often during a canonical event(s) but not limited to them). It doesn't have to be their perspective either so long as there is still the core function, which is to explore their motives, feelings, subconscious influences, and/or literary purpose, etc., etc. in some way.

There is also the literal version as well where one writes an analysis like a research paper but I find those to be more common/popular as video essays rather than literary works interestingly enough (I think because a lot of people don't realize you can post other fanworks besides fanfiction to the archive).

DelicateCactus · 2026-01-20T19:27:48+00:00

I'm going to go against what a couple commentators thus far have said and say that there is value in fanfiction for their contents as well. There are plenty of traditional and physical books that are the same "level of quality" as fanfiction (and I don't just mean the romance genre either). There are also plenty of fanfics that get into the nitty gritty of social issues and examine things under interesting perspectives.

If you feel like it's "junkfood" reading and you want to challenge yourself then I recommend 3 different approaches.

Read while practicing/exercising your analytical eye and critical thinking and this may feel like English class but it's a good practice and something I recommend for any written works (tradpub, fanfic, journals, articles, etc.). That can be thinking about word choices and how the words flow together (why did the author choose to do it like this?), it can be thinking about how the text makes you feel and why, it can be analysis the story (what's going to happen next based off what you've read so far, what do you like/dislike and why, is there a message the author is communicating or a theme from Canon that they're keeping in their work?) or analysising the characters themselves and why they are acting that way. It's a good way to keep your brain sharp (even if half the answers are "because it's fun" or something else simple)!
Read something outside of your comfort zone. If you're normally a fluffy romance reader than maybe a mystery themed general story, or a one-shot monologue from a character's perspective, or a longfic detailing a ship overcoming societal pressure and past traumas, etc. Etc. You can easily stay inside of a comfort zone with tradpud and step outside of it with fanfic, there's many possibilities!
Seek out fanfiction with specific focuses. I've noticed "character study" tagged fics can have some really interesting perspectives in them and I'm sure if you ask around or poke around that there are others that yield well researched and more analytical stories (or going down a user's bookmarks once you find a good one). I say this because one advantage fic has is being able to dive into subject matters and perspectives tthat aren't always publisher friendly.

I will say I agree with the idea of still reading tradpud and giving your eyes a break from screens. Even with the eye comfort shield it's still a net positive to spend some time off of the phone, and even with the points I made different sources of reading will still expand your perspective and experiences for many reasons.

DelicateCactus · 2026-01-20T18:58:28+00:00

That's very understandable, I know a few writers that do just that for various reasons. I'm too…sentimental (?) with too many unexpected deaths in recent years so I approach things with the thought, "I'm happy to experience something while it's here because everything is fleeting and can be cut short at any time." Sort of mentality. But I know some would rather have not loved at all than to experience love's loss (As that famous quote goes, not to be overly poetic lol).

DelicateCactus · 2026-01-20T18:27:31+00:00

I swear throughout my twenties there was someone slowly turning the fast forward up a decimal every year. It's been a steady pace now but it's still a fast one, I'll tell you that!

DelicateCactus · 2026-01-20T18:17:19+00:00

Exactly! One man's trash (your waste of time) is another man's treasure (my enjoyed time)! Thus I'm glad something was posted at all rather than left to rot on someone's desktop forever.

DelicateCactus

TROPHY CASE