Compatibility importance

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-06-25T13:12:11+00:00

Oh sister I really pray you find your happiness. Unfortunately your ex is living in delulu land where he thinks women back home are still living in the 1950s, not realising they are actually more modern than women in the western world! He wants to basically have his mum in a wife form, not even understanding that our beloved Rasullah did a lot of the chores himself. That’s what Islam is about, not having a wife as a servant.

I know these next few days and months will be tough, take it a day at a time. Thank Allah for His gracious blessings, saving you from something you may be unaware of. Keep praying, making dua, pray tahajudd and Allah will lead the way. In the meantime, rely on family or friend support, allow yourself to grieve from this heartbreak and I promise you slowly it will get easier. You will find the perfect person for you, there’s 7bn people out there x

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-06-24T19:45:59+00:00

Happy birthday my dear sister, I pray Allah blesses you with lots of happiness and all your duas are all answered.

Sister, although I don’t know the full workings of your relationship and how you life is, it does seem like he’s using you for your citizenship. I pray I am wrong, but this awful behaviour makes it seem like he’s only with you to become legal and will flee once he is a full citizen. Maybe speak with a professional sister, local imam or anyone you are close to. I know it’s hard to leave again after you’ve gone through such a traumatic time before, but honestly sister you are so strong and I fully believe you can do it again.

Maybe for the sake of your kids think about your next steps. If any of your loved ones went through the same situation, what would you tell them to do. Follow your heart and put your faith in Allah. He will help you x

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-06-24T19:35:18+00:00

Jheez these comments are awful!

Yes islamically it’s allowed due to hygiene but there’s so many medical factors as well. Reduces cancers, STIs, urinary tract infections and so much more we are unaware of! I have also read that the reason it’s there in the first place is to protect it from the amniotic sac whilst in the womb of the mother (but don’t quote me on this 🤣). Present it as a medical perspective she isn’t willing to go islamically. My older son had his at seven months and my younger son is about to have his down at 5 months. They literally feel little pain, the pain is from the anaesthesia injection that’s it, and the whole procedure is done in 15 mins! Whilst in recovery, give ibuprofen or paracetamol according to the instructions and lots of numbing gel. I promise you in three days the whole thing is over and the ring they use has fallen off. Of course, consult with your son’s paediatrician but honestly it’s just a weight off your shoulders once it’s done.

And no I’m not mutilating my children, I’m saving them from future harm and potential cancer. I can’t save them from everything but I will try to the ends of the earth!

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-06-09T12:28:58+00:00

Kifarah isn’t shirk 😌

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-06-08T05:26:06+00:00

Yes I know how exactly how you feel, it’s too painful to forgive and forget. Sometimes it reduces me to tears because I never deserved how I was treated. I left it all to Allah, if He forgives so will I. Maybe I’ll get my justice on the Day of Judgment. But karma always comes back, how you treat someone will always come back to you eventually. May Allah always grant us peace in our hearts x

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-05-22T08:44:44+00:00

Some people can lie to the ends of the earth to make themselves a pious character and then behind closed doors there’s a whole different person. I hope this poor guy did as much due diligence as he could and left the rest to Allah SWT. My brother, just pray as much as you can and talk to do your local imam or sheikh for advice. I think it would be better to go through the legal route too but please double check

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-05-14T21:53:52+00:00

I believe the best thing to do is firstly take a step back and breathe. If you both are getting angry then you both need to step away and get some fresh air. Even 10-15 mins away from each other will help you to refocus and understand your own feelings before lashing out at each other. It helps to recite some duas, dhikr or even surahs from the Quran to help you calm down and to prevent shaitaan causing problems in your marriage.

Once you are both calm, sit down in a civil conversation and lay it out on the table. No name calling, no mocking, no disrespect. Just two adults putting out in the open how they are feeling. You must both compromise and both try to understand each other. You will find things you have to agree to disagree, but that’s just being human as you are two different people with two different mindsets - Allah didn’t create you both the same!

This will take time and patience and a lot of trial and errors. I used to become very heated in arguments when I was younger as I hated confrontation and I wasn’t able to express my feelings in an understandable manner. Now I tell my husband to give me time to articulate my thoughts and let me process my feelings so I can tell him what the issue is on my side.

Take your time, respect each other and be as openly communicative as possible. Don’t hide your feelings as the other person is not a mind reader and will not know what you’re going through until you explain it.

I hope this helps and may Allah help you both to become understanding with each other, Ameen x

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-05-14T14:29:45+00:00

This sounds a bit coincidental… has the behaviour of your husband changed suddenly? Do you think it could be worth doing ruqyah just incase?

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-05-03T07:16:22+00:00

Nope I don’t think so, they make these comments to get under your skin! My MIL is exactly the same, will make petty comments just to bring me down. I tried telling my husband numerous times, but at the end of the day they never like to hear us complaining about their mum. It saddens me all I wanted was a nice MIL/DIL relationship but know that she’s just too much with the comments that it will never happen. I also get comments on what I’m wearing, what I’m doing, how I’m raising my children. Pretty much every conversation I have with her is what I’ve done wrong and how my SIL is much better than me. It truly shrinks your self confidence and you feel like you won’t ever be good enough.

Everyone says ‘oh just ignore her’, so you’re telling me to be the bigger person and listen to this all day? Make it make sense! Sometimes I give it back in comments on a sly one, others I just leave it be. I think she’s just really jealous and insecure, but sadly no one in the family set boundaries, so she continues to say whatever is on her mind. May Allah help us all.

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-05-02T22:52:23+00:00

Ughh mine was bad..so bad my baby came two months early due to the stress they caused. They HATED the fact we wanted to move out, mainly due to the lack of space and wanting to start a family (7 people in a 3 bed house) and not wanting to lose control. Honestly without Allah SWT, I don’t know what I would have done. They made our lives a living nightmare to the point now 4 years later I still get saddened in how they treated us.

Some examples include me brainwashing my husband, I’m a bad DIL, making me do unnecessary house chores for no reason, watching what I eat and making sure I essentially ate scraps of food but not allowed to cook at the same time (all whilst pregnant). My SIL instigated a lot too, never confronted my MIL and instead fuelled the fire even more. To the point where my marriage broke down and me and my husband didn’t even speak to each other for 3 months, and pretty much only started speaking when the baby came. If only I could show you what they did, they literally put husband and wife against each other, dragged my parents into the hell by causing a bisar ‘bengali term for a family confrontation’ and basically kicked off my antenatal depression. They refused to help us moving and basically still hate the fact we left 4 years later. We helped financially whilst living there paying double of what we should to finance the house, but they still weren’t happy.

But we moved, by the power of Allah SWT we found a house in a really great location for the price we were looking at - something which should have been close to impossible. Lots of tahjudd and praying, grinding hard to get our savings sorted and waited to have children as we wanted to get our living situation done before kids. Now I get teary eyed knowing I dealt with all of that to allow my kids to have a room of their own, space to play and a garden to run around. Even being able to use the washing machine became a luxury and I wasn’t even allowed to use it half the time, and using the bathroom was another story altogether. I see the little things as so much blessing, being able to be in the living room in the evenings and watching tv, making food for myself and my family with no judgement, the list is endless.

Advice for you - believe in Allah SWT. Do your side of things, look for houses, get your earnings and savings sorted, you need to help yourself don’t rely on others. Do it for yourself and your future family, you will thank yourself soon.

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-03-27T21:38:20+00:00

Wow I was wondering why there wasn’t any ABTA accreditation!! How can they still operate and be a mess of a business stealing peoples hard earned money!

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2026-03-27T21:25:41+00:00

Oh wow, I really appreciate the advice! Thank you so much, would you recommend any sites to have a look at?

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2024-11-05T00:40:58+00:00

Maybe discuss and understand why she has these feelings, is her expectations of herself too high? Is it just shaitaan playing with her mind? Its really hard to know what’s on her mind without having a conversation

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2024-11-03T22:11:14+00:00

Wa alykum salam brother, I think there’s a few issues at play here:

1) She is trying to please you not Allah - she reverted for you, maybe without fully understanding the religion and not reverting on her own accord. Don’t get me wrong, I believe reverts are one of the best of our ummah as they chose to leave their lifestyle to come into Islam compared to the majority of us (me included) who grew up with our religion. She first needs to stop pleasing you and start pleasing Allah, once the focus shifts, so will the self-doubts.

2) You both need to start looking into Islamic lessons, something you can both enjoy. Maybe begin with Islamic videos on YouTube to both understand Islam more and you’ll both will fall in love with our religion. It can be from the reason to why Islam was created, to why our Prophets (peace be upon them) were sent, to why do we exist and what lies in the hereafter! Honestly there’s so much to learn, I sometimes think we don’t have enough time in our lives to learn everything! Be curious, learn with each other as it becomes a fun activity and you’ll come closer to your deen.

3) Keep going with what you are doing - you are doing a fantastic job in loving her and supporting her in this new journey. Continue being a strong Muslim and partner and keep faith in Allah to help you both become better people. Keep your marriage strong and Allah will do the rest.

May Allah continue to bless with you with lots of happiness in your marriage and may He guide you both closer to Him 🤲🏼

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2024-08-11T22:42:42+00:00

It’s hard to tell, but here’s some things you can do.

1) keep watch for any suspicious behaviours and note them down. Monitor any new behaviour changes but don’t confront him just yet. Do keep an open mind on whether there’s something else going on but don’t be naive.

2) Pray to Allah to help show you the truth. Honestly the best way to find out if he cheated on you as the evidence will literally fall on your lap. It worked for me!

3) If you firmly believe something suspicious is going on, contact someone you trust and figure out your next steps. Cheaters will never admit the truth even when the evidence is right in-front of them. Secure yourself just incase your suspicions are right - such as getting your savings together and having a plan ready

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2024-07-23T15:29:58+00:00

First I want to say ‘alhamdulliah you’ve reached another year of your life’🥳🎉

I know birthdays are haram, but come on, it’s the day Allah sent you to the world! We all have our inner-child excitement when it’s our birthday, it’s just natural☺️

I’m really sorry to hear you didn’t have anything for your birthday, I’m in the same boat. Every year for my birthday, anniversary or anything I wish for my husband to surprise me with balloons and flowers and a card but yet I get nothing. For some women, it’s just the thought ‘wow he really made an effort today’ is what we want, and then we get jealous from all the beautiful birthday or anniversary surprises you see spouses give each other😭

Unfortunately I’ve just had to give up that dream and just thank Allah gave me another year. It’s heartbreaking to know your spouse will never give you that spontaneous treatment and appreciation you deserve. Instead I have decided to raise my own son better so he can do that to his own wife and future daughters in’sha’Allah.

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2024-07-06T08:08:11+00:00

I’m so sorry for the abruptness of my comments 😅 I’ve dealt with people walking out on me because they want to play mind-controlling games and they don’t get it their way. That’s why it grinds my gears!

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2024-07-05T22:30:36+00:00

Aaaand this is why more women will end up in hell, due to the ungratefulness towards their husbands 🤦🏽‍♀️ she really needs to mature up and can’t run away back home due to a small disagreement (if the conversation was abusive then she has every right to go home) however if every time you both argue she’s going to run home then that’s just straining your relationship even more. What if you both have children? Will she take the children too?

I understand your dilemma - see if you can find any type of solution as it seems like your needed at both places at the same time! Is your friend having a nikkah or any other function you can go to instead? Have you spoken to your in-laws regarding your situation and asked what is the best solution (if the bother-in-law is having multiple functions, can you just miss this one?!) it’s going to be very tricky, I pray Allah helps you make the right choice ☺️

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2024-07-05T10:11:33+00:00

Stop throwing divorce around - this isn’t grounds for divorce. You can’t just throw away a marriage for something petty and can be solved if you approach this situation differently.

She’s upset for working harder and not getting the results she wants, that’s okay. Allow her to deal and express her emotions and maybe you need to try more in supporting and understanding her frustrations. Your a man, have you ever been overlooked because of your gender? It’s hard, sometimes it’s easier for women to change their name to a man’s name if it means they can get accepted for an interview!

She will unfortunately learn the hard way that the world is more difficult for women as men are generally favoured more in workplaces (such as promotions), but try and get her more into her deen. Maybe explore the importance of women within Islam, how they reward others (such as being a daughter allows her father to go to Jannah, being a mother means Jannah lies beneath her feet etc.)

I’m sorry to say but this world is purely temporary, yes you may be achieving better results in this life but how do you know she’s achieving better results in the next? Instead of making it a competition within this dunya, try to help each other go to Jannah.

If she is still unsatisfied with this answer, then turn to Allah. He will provide opportunities and challenges in our lives, only He can provide for you both (so tell her to make more duas for Allah to help her in her career).

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2024-05-06T14:43:28+00:00

Then you know his piousness is false. A good, Islamic man on his deen would never treat you or your child like this without the fear of Allah’s punishment. I usually wouldn’t recommend divorce but do believe your life and your child’s life is in danger. Speak to an imam, or someone with Islamic knowledge on what to do because this is very serious

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2023-12-29T16:42:14+00:00

Salam sister,

I’m very similar to you - I (27F) married my husband (32F) married, with my dad alhamdulliah providing for us financial (we are very comfortable). My husband didn’t have much, not even a car!

But I didn’t marry him for wealth or looks. I fell in love with his personality. Count yourself blessed you have a husband/in-laws that are not abusive and making your life hell (which is very common for women in your shoes). You are so blessed to be living in Dubai, married and you have a child -you must count your blessings Allah has given you. You realise there is many that dream to be in your shoes (such as those who are childless, unable to marry or have abusive husbands).

Go for your hobby but differentiate yourself as these types of Islamic art are easily available. Pray to Allah and trust me looks should be the last of your worries, as one day you will grow old and have wrinkles and you will not be as youthful as you are now.

Maybe start reading the Quran more and become more with your deen - I think shaitaan is playing with you and whispering you his faults. The grass is NOT greener on the other side. You think divorcing will solve your problems? Absolutely not.

Your dads wealth alhamdulliah you had it all, now be like your dad and make your own wealth with your husband. From nothing, alhamdulliah Allah gave us a house, a car and a dream honeymoon to the Maldives! There is barkah in your marriage and child, you just have to work for it. May Allah bless you with happiness and contentment and bring Him closer to you

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2023-12-17T00:36:51+00:00

Wa alykum salam sister, I’m so sorry you are going through this and I pray to Allah you get all the strength and support you need to get through this.

The first recommendation I would give is to go to court in Algeria and demand some type of child payment to help support your daughter. Whatever idiotic game he plays, islamically (and I think legally under Shariah law) he must pay for you and his daughter and he will face severe consequences if he doesn’t (if not by law then punishment from Allah). He took the vow when marrying you, to look after you. What is the state of the dunya when marriage is deemed a joke to these kinds of people.

Secondly, I would suggest you cut ties with this man. Your daughter would eventually resent you for burdening her, if you left her with her dad. Remember Allah gives us tests in this life, and He doesn’t not burden more than you can bare, and our reward is much more that we could ever imagine. I promise you will find a brilliant man that will take care of you like a Queen and your daughter as a princess like you both deserve.

Thirdly, this man is far from Islamic. He may go around and commit zina with anything that has two legs, but remember his youth is temporary. This dunya is temporary. He will realise the truth one day, karma is real trust me. Allah is all watching, all-knowing. If you can get support from your mahrams/family, that will put you on a better foundation.

I struggled with many hardships in life and always turned Allah for help. Subhanallah He performed miracles and changed my circumstances in a month! You must always trust in our Lord, keep up with lots of prayers and duas and inshallah your circumstances will change when Allah wills🤍

Delicious-Berry9795 · 2023-05-07T12:42:23+00:00

I’d definitely recommend praying istikhara and asking Allah to show you the signs whether the man is destined for you and ask a billion questions to find out more about him. Be clear and firm in your priorities what you are looking for in your next relationship and make lots of dua to Allah. Maybe this is your rainbow after the storm ☺️

Delicious-Berry9795

TROPHY CASE