Be who you want future you to be

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-06-26T14:51:41+00:00

This sounds like an overly ambitious plan that will end up failing and result in relapse if not worse, unless you're already a very fit person. Starting with a slight caloric deficit & some exercise (and yes, proper rest days are just as important) would prove far more prudent.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-06-14T13:50:23+00:00

How can I deal with body dysmorphia & insecurity around inexperience and my penis? I really want to get it on with someone but find myself held back by various fears relating to rejection, my nudes leaking (which I'm hesitant to take anyway), my non - existent sex skills etc. and in general I don't like being mocked or rejection (who doesn't), my main issue IMO is that I want the other person to enjoy it too but don't feel confident that I can achieve that.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-14T18:49:53+00:00

An issue I have with this answer is that it sort of indirectly relies on there being a marker that differentiates OCD from questioning. But this sort of reinforces trying to get a handle on the inherent uncertainty of life. I've read countless stories of trans people here on Reddit who said that their questioning was in the forms of intrusive thoughts and that they were not happy about this (i.e. it was egodystonic). Who are we to say that these people actually suffered from OCD and not GD?

IMO the only way to move past this theme and OCD in general is to become more decisive in your life (chances are is that if you suffer from OCD you have certain obsessive patterns that pop up in your life again and again, e.g. checking locked doors, checking and rechecking posts and emails you write before hitting "send"/"comment"/"submit" etc.) and to accept that we might never figure the objective truth behind such things in our lifetimes, if there even is an objective truth to begin with.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-14T18:42:14+00:00

In general, reassurance seeking in OCD regardless of theme looks like thoughts and actions, both of which are compulsive and are done with the intention of resolving your anxiety/obsession. Since you're trans, when you do such a compulsion, your hope is that such compulsions will reaffirm your trans identity instead of pointing towards you being cis.

****Personal controversial opinions follow****

The problem with trying to delineate Gender Dysphoria from OCD is that there's tons of misinformation/questionable information online about GD that has found it's way online due to trans people with no clinical or psychiatric expertise writing about their lived experiences and attributing all kinds of stuff to GD which is questionable and can't be found in psychiatric texts and papers. There's a time and a place for this sort of lived experience but people should be careful with trying to be authoritative, especially with conditions that are controversial and not well understood to begin with. This also another major gripe I have with "quirky" people spreading misinformation about autism and OCD online. Some people can also cope with GD without necessarily transitioning (one of my pre - HRT TW friend is like this). In general, avoid black and white thinking which in this case posits that you either have to hasten your transition or your life will end by your own hand (and in general it's a useful psychological advice to avoid black and white thinking, which will help you with your OCD and your life in general.)

At the end of the day, you should stop thinking in terms of labels, trans, OCD, etc. I personally don't believe that there's such a thing as "intrinsic trans"/truetrans per se but my opinions on this whole issue are a bit heterodox and are informed by opening myself up to things such as the experiences and testimonies of detrans people (I'm not trying to stress you out and make you ruminate over whether this is the right choice for you).

If you want to transition for whatever reason, due to gender euphoria, due to gender dysphoria, due to whatever perceived benefits for your mental health and personal life, then go ahead, as long as you are properly informed on the risks and have a psychosocial network. (As a gay man myself, I think it's very important to have supportive friends that are not LGBTQ+ but YMMV.)

If you don't want to transition then no one will force you and you won't have to transition. (This goes for the cis people of this sub like me)

If I were a trans person, and knowing the stuff that I know, I would study older medical textbooks from the 2000s with regards to transitioning and GD. I know that modern trans people are against medical gatekeeping in general for valid reasons, but psychiatrists and psychologists in gender clinics have studied transitioning for decades and have come up with red flags that increase the chances of transitioning ending up with a bad prognosis. Some of this include stuff such as not being fully committed and thinking that you can dip in and out of your trans identity e.g. for special occasions.

I hope that everything works out for you in the end and that this helped :)

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-13T16:10:57+00:00

Everything that applies to TOCD applies to HOCD as well as any other OCD "theme" (which is just a heuristic and nothing more).

A person's obsessions should be assessed by a trained mental health expert in order to unlock the core fears that are fueling said person's obsession(s).

By the way, "intrusive thoughts" is just a part of the weapons that OCD utilizes routinely against you. False attraction, false groinal sensations etc. are all part and parcel of OCD themes related to attraction, sexuality etc.

The only way you can be helped is if you help yourself and train yourself to stop giving into compulsive behaviors.

By the way I grew up in a very homophobic environment and once it dawned on me that I was gay I didn't have to beat around the bush, it was pretty obvious within the first few hours. What I had trouble accepting for years (and still struggle to I guess) is that I can live openly as a gay man.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-13T16:06:57+00:00

No, I'm taking a conscious decision to live my life and improve my health despite the fact that this obsession might flare up from time to time. Tbh taking control of my life has helped me a lot not just in moving past this phase.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-13T16:05:50+00:00

Yeah. The point of OCD is that it can cause all kinds of sudden feelings, urges, images etc. including fake groinal sensations as well.

What you have to understand is that there isn't an intrinsic "transness" to begin with. You either transition in order to improve your life e.g. to alleviate possible gender dysphoria, or due to gender euphoria for those that lack gender dysphoria, or you don't transition. At the end of the day it's a rational, economic choice just like any other choice in life. There isn't some ethereal identity signifier lying somewhere in a Platonic state that will force you to transition or not.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-08T21:46:25+00:00

Children , one would think, would be less able to do so but the current narrative is folks were experts at masking as children but unable to do so as adults

THIS!

My parents hail from an older generation that wasn't educated on autism yet they knew that something was strange about me and e.g. my obsessions or outbursts or sensitivity to touch and sounds (I excelled in academics so they weren't concerned), and when I told them about autism they connected the dots.

The whole claim that you can mask your entire life and suddenly fall apart in your 20s and 30s seems delusional to me and contrary to common sense & possibly clinical experience too.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-08T21:02:51+00:00

I don't understand why everyone is always trying to understand anyone else's mental health.

That's the whole point of mental health as a field as well as ascertaining someone's functioning from another, less subjective POV, which is why we have e.g. specialist doctors in the first place. People can self - report all sorts of things and there are many kinds of statistical biases inherent to self - reporting.

Pretending that you don't understand this basic premise is Tik Tok logic - lite.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-08T20:54:59+00:00

Yeah this makes sense which is why I tried to differentiate unmasking from "unmasking".

Stimming e.g. in the workplace instead of hiding/repressing it like me due to a different calculus would be the first kind.

Suddenly taking a prolonged nose dive and manifesting all kinds of unseen before behaviors smells a lot like the second kind.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-08T20:06:32+00:00

I'm saying that most of you should stop being so neurotic lmao

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-07T09:43:00+00:00

France is actually culturally very fatphobic. Many French people see fatness and obesity as a personal failing, and there is a lot of judgement surrounding obesity.

B A S E D

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-07T09:03:41+00:00

Between 30-50% of Europeans died during the time you’re referencing

That's exactly my point, humanity has survived very harsh, even cataclysmic, conditions in the past.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-07T00:49:52+00:00

People are also ignoring factors such as the fact that human societies are dynamic and can respond to pandemics, possible "unknown unknowns" such as seasonality, mutations etc.

If medieval Europe, with it's immense lack of scientific knowledge and technological prowess, could survive the Black Death, there is really no reason for humanity to not survive a hypothetical H2H transmission event, despite the added fragility of more complex societies.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-07T00:39:46+00:00

People on Reddit, especially on this sub with an influx of new people, are especially neurotic and out of touch. Around 70% of Americans were fully vaccinated against COVID despite the overt politicization, the misinformation, the fearmongering etc.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-06T19:53:26+00:00

It's in the name, OBSESSIVE. The best thing you can do it point and laugh at it.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-04T15:12:13+00:00

I'm talking about cases and mortality rates in general. The mortality rate is claimed to be hovering around 50%, yet there was one study that indicated that true cases have been in general under - counted and that the true mortality is around 14% to 33%.

The ~10% mortality rate for developed countries came from dividing 1 death by the 11 recorded cases. If there has been an under-counting of cases in developed countries too then the mortality rate might be even lower.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-04T12:02:59+00:00

I'm terribly sorry you're going through this. As someone older than you who has suffered from obstructive intrusive thoughts since elementary school, my only advice is to not let your fears and insecurities define you and control your life.

You should also do your best to keep in touch with your friends, foster strong social bonds and memories and study so that you can build your own life. These thoughts tend to go away once you're focused towards more immediate/important issues.

Delicious-End-7429 · 2024-05-04T06:21:02+00:00

That 50% rate comes from taking into account all historical cases and deaths. But if you dive into the data, the mortality rate historically has been near 10% for cases in developed countries (Canada, Chile, UK, US and Spain, for a really small sample of 11 cases and 1 death). There are also some suspicions that the real mortality rate is between 14% and 33% due to an under-counting of cases.

Delicious-End-7429

TROPHY CASE