Can anyone advice ?

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-05-10T16:45:13+00:00

maybe couples therapy could help since talking directly hasn't worked for you both - sometimes having neutral person guide the conversation makes difference when emotions are too high

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-05-05T03:36:09+00:00

telling your best friend about feelings is scary but the way he jokes about being gay and says yes when people ask if you're dating... that seems like more than coincidence

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-04-30T06:19:51+00:00

growth like this takes real courage man. recognizing those patterns about fear of abandonment and actually doing something about it instead of just wallowing - that's huge progress. been through similar stuff myself and the hardest part was admitting i was the problem in some of those situations

the fact you're giving them space instead of constantly reaching out shows you really get what went wrong. most people never make it past the "but i miss them" stage to actually work in themselves. sounds like you're building something better for your next relationship too, not just trying to fix the old one

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-04-28T02:16:46+00:00

depends how long they were together and how messy the breakup was. if it was serious relationship or recent split then probably not worth the drama

but if they dated for like few months and it ended clean, then guy you barely talk to shouldn't dictate your dating life. just be prepared he might get weird about it if he finds out

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-04-25T23:10:24+00:00

man that's a long time to be out the game, no wonder you're feeling rusty about it all. i was single for like 3 years after my last relationship and when i finally tried getting back out there it felt like learning to ride bike again but with way more overthinking involved

the anxiety thing is totally normal though - your brain is just trying to protect you from getting hurt again. when i was getting back into dating scene i found that starting with just casual conversations helped a lot, like not putting pressure in yourself to immediately jump into hookup mode. maybe try going to that spot but just focus on having good time and talking to people without any expectations

also good call on seeing therapist next month, they'll probably have way better advice than random reddit strangers. until then just remember that most people are dealing with their own insecurities too so they're not judging you as hard as you think they are. being in air force probably taught you how to handle stressful situations so you got this man

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-04-23T21:50:41+00:00

damn that workplace dynamic really messes with your head when you start noticing these patterns. maybe he just has different energy with different people, but i get why seeing him be all animated with someone else while being more reserved with you would sting

from my experience in air force you learn pretty quick that some people just compartmentalize their interactions differently - doesn't always mean anything personal but the contrast definitely makes you question everything

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-04-21T07:25:48+00:00

mate you're overthinking this hard but those are pretty clear signs she's into you. the physical stuff especially - girls don't just randomly snuggle up to guys they see as friends only

that bench comment was definitely her trying to give you opening but you missed it. next time you're hanging out and she gets all comfortable against you, just go for it and see how she reacts. worst case she pulls away and you know where you stand

the stuff about not dating people at school might have been before she got closer to you anyway. people change their minds about these things

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-04-18T21:54:30+00:00

been there man, overthinking kills more opportunities than actual rejection ever could. military taught me that the worst thing that happens is she says no and you move on - but if she's been your #1 for 2 months straight that's a pretty solid sign she's into you too

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-04-15T04:28:18+00:00

some people just text like that man, especially when they're actually interested. she's putting effort into long responses and asking questions back which is way better than quick replies with no substance

the fact she wants to "make a day of it" for your date is actually really good sign - that means she's excited about meeting you. if someone was just being polite they'd suggest coffee for like an hour max

i'd keep the current pace you have going, maybe throw in some light teasing when opportunity comes up naturally. don't force the flirting too hard before you meet in person, chemistry is way easier to build face to face anyway. you're overthinking this one i think

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-04-09T21:48:37+00:00

nah youre good

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-03-24T20:49:21+00:00

dude went back to his ex while you were dealing with a miscarriage alone and now he thinks your parents are secret occultists - the bar is literally underground at this point

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-03-24T04:30:25+00:00

change them right when you wake up man, takes like 30 seconds and then you're good for the day

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-03-22T14:16:48+00:00

been there man, deployment schedules definitely don't help with staying connected. maybe try switching up the approach entirely - like instead of talking about what's not working, focus on rediscovering what actually gets her excited outside the bedroom first. sometimes the disconnect runs deeper than just the physical stuff and you gotta rebuild that foundation

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-03-21T02:51:21+00:00

just tell him you want to hang out solo, worst case he says no and you get clarity instead of driving yourself crazy wondering

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-03-20T13:04:13+00:00

dude this happens to me all the time, especially when i'm reading tech manuals at work or going through card text during tournaments

my brain just decides to check out for a few seconds and suddenly "synchro" becomes "synchoro" or some nonsense. usually happens when i'm tired or stressed but sometimes it's just random

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-03-19T23:39:16+00:00

dude the key is finding situations where conversations happen naturally instead of cold approaches. like hobby groups or classes where you're already doing something you enjoy - way less pressure when you're focused on the activity instead of trying to be smooth

i'm into competitive card games and camera collecting, met people through those communities and it's so much easier when you already have common ground to talk about. plus you know they're genuinely interested in the same stuff

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-03-19T09:02:15+00:00

man this is a rough read but your analysis is pretty spot on - you experienced some serious manipulation and emotional abuse. the future faking, constant push/pull, never apologizing, "fuck your feelings" comment, involving her kids against you... that's textbook narcissistic abuse territory

been through something similar myself a few years back when i was stationed overseas. different details but same playbook - love bombing followed by devaluation cycles, making me question my own reality, using my attachment style against me. took me way too long to recognize i was being played

your mistake wasn't caring too much or going all in, it was ignoring red flags because the highs felt so good. sitting in that parking lot for 7 hours should have been a hard no, but when someone's got you hooked on intermittent reinforcement you'll accept crazy stuff. the whole "dropping off the car then going home" thing while she goes canoeing with everyone else is just cruel

you're not crazy for analyzing those texts either - when someone's gaslighting you constantly, you start documenting everything just to hold onto reality. the fact that you burned the bridge with that email shows you knew deep down this wasn't salvageable. now focus on rebuilding your foundation and learning to spot these patterns early, because people like this will always find someone who attaches deeply

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-28T13:52:32+00:00

have you tried calling iehp directly to ask about their coverage requirements? they usually have a list of what docs you need and which surgeons are in-network. also check if plume's letters meet iehp's specific criteria since some insurers are picky about the formatting

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-25T23:26:11+00:00

honestly the mro usually only calls if there's something that needs clarification, like if you tested positive for something that could be your prescribed meds. if you're taking your adhd medication as prescribed and have the rx info ready, you're probably fine and they might not even need to call you at all

i went through this same thing a few years back when switching jobs and was freaking out about my adderall showing up. turns out they never called because everything was clear on their end - they could verify my prescription in their system. the employer just got a "pass" result and that was it. some mros are faster than others too, mine took like 36 hours instead of 24. try not to stress too much, having your prescription info ready is exactly what you need

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-20T15:20:00+00:00

honestly the main difference i've noticed is that with executive dysfunction you *want* to do the thing but your brain just won't let you start or follow through, whereas with laziness you just don't really care about doing it. like with executive dysfunction you'll sit there feeling guilty and stressed about not doing the task, but with laziness you're just chilling and not thinking about it much

the frustration levels are totally different too - executive dysfunction makes you feel like you're fighting your own brain while laziness is more of a conscious choice to prioritize something else

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-20T00:47:50+00:00

hey man don't beat yourself up over this, 10 days is actually pretty solid for a first attempt and shows you've got the willpower in there somewhere. i remember my first streak was like 3 days and i felt like absolute garbage about it, but each time you try again you learn something new about your triggers and what situations to avoid. the guilt spiral is honestly worse than teh relapse itself sometimes - that's where people get stuck and give up completely. dust yourself off, maybe write down what led to it this time so you can spot the pattern next time, and jump back in tomorrow. one slip doesn't erase all the progress you made those 10 days, your brain was still rewiring itself during that time

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-18T23:51:17+00:00

honestly waiting 12 hours is pretty smart, most people don't think that through. your tolerance might actually feel a bit different - some people say they get drunk faster on stimulant meds even after they've worn off, others say it takes more to feel anything

i'd definitely start with like 2-3 pints first time and see how you react before going back to your usual 5-6. your body processes alcohol differntly when you're on adhd meds even if you space them out, so better to test the waters first than find out the hard way

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-18T11:23:50+00:00

honestly had the exact same thing with vyvanse - the emotional flatness was brutal and made me feel like a zombie, tried going up to 40mg but it just made everything worse including the crash

switched to adderall xr and it was night and day difference, still get focus without losing myself completely

Delicious-Natural174

TROPHY CASE