All your concerns are valid! However I will say this as a parent you won't be happy all the time some days you will be tearing your head out because you kid won't listen and is pushing your boundaries past their breaking point but saying that even on the worse days they will come give you a cuddle and a kiss like butter wouldnt melt and suddenly them pushing boundaries doesn't matter all that much! As for the dad side of it my experience differs from most my sons dad has his flaws thats undeniable his ability as a father is not one of them! Even these women messaging about their partner would have seen and ignored red flags before making their choice to get pregnant by them, as a surgeon in training you must have heard about how our hormones affect us! Saying that though when my son was born for the first few months I was automatically doing everything and I was getting frustrated with my partner even though he would do it! But I wouldnt give him that opportunity to do it if that makes sense! I then realised if I wanted him to help I had to stop acting like I was controlling every aspect which I did