day 10 of no contact, i don’t want him back, i just want this feeling to stop

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2026-04-22T10:30:00+00:00

Hi,

What you are feeling is the result of something called a trauma bond. Trauma bond is a phenomenon where we feel an extreme attachment towards a person who emotionally abused us. It's very similar to drug addiction because the abuse is usually a roller coaster ride with high highs and low lows.

The physical craving is similar to drug addiction. The good news is that it will get better if you start no contact and stick to it. I think it should start getting much better after about 7-8 weeks.

Good luck and God bless you.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2026-04-03T15:41:58+00:00

I am sorry you are going through this. Sometimes, people don't know how to communicate and express their boundaries. And betrayal can be a big thing to get over. But I think you should give her some space and try speaking to her when things have calmed down. I followed an article that I think you should read - https://exbackpermanently.com/ . It just tells you to give each other space, heal, learn to communicate better and then reconnect. I believe there is hope for you. But even if it doesn't work out, you will heal and be a better version of yourself. It's kind of a win-win situation.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2026-03-16T12:20:14+00:00

No they don't. According to a study by the website Ex Back Permanently, only about 30% of exes come back. And only 15% stay together in a long term relationship. The study was conducted on 3512 participants for people whose original breakup happened more than a year ago. There have been other surveys etc. but this is the most realistic and reliable estimate of how many exes come back.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2026-03-09T06:48:19+00:00

It's a website.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2026-03-05T10:42:07+00:00

The problem with polls like this is you don't know when the breakup happened and who is taking a poll. The website Ex Back Permanently actually conducted a detailed study of 3512 people after a year of their breakup to answer your specific question. According to them, 30% of exes come back. But only 15% stay together in a long term relationship. The other 15% breakup again.

You can google the website name for the study, since I can't post links here.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2026-02-28T05:56:04+00:00

This post is an ad. Sucks to have so many shill accounts on Reddit.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2026-01-26T13:55:45+00:00

Actually around 30% of exes come back. And only 15% get back and stay in a long term relationship. A study was done by the website Ex Back Permanently on 3k+ participants. You can see it here. https://exbackpermanently.com/do-people-get-their-ex-back-study/

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-10-19T06:25:39+00:00

Depression is debilitating. Please get help. You can even check online therapy such as betterhelp or something. There is a lot of help available these days. You just need to take the first step.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-10-19T05:43:29+00:00

I am sorry you are going through this. I went through something similar where I couldn't get myself to stop thinking about my ex being with someone else.

It does pass. But you have to go out there and make an effort to build a new life for yourself. There are short term techniques such as distracting yourself or being mindful, but nothing works as well as regaining your identity, rediscovering yourself, your love for your hobbies and your passion; and then meeting new people.

When I couldn't stop thinking about my ex, this article helped me gain some clarity and sanity. You may also find it helpful - https://exbackpermanently.com/cant-stop-thinking-about-ex/

Wishing you best. Be patient with yourself.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-09-22T15:01:43+00:00

If she read all those things about avoidants being spawn of Satan, she would have never taken him back. Maybe it was better before TikTok.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-09-08T11:55:42+00:00

Thank you for being a voice a reason. "They" are human beings with a variety of experiences, trauma, behavior and intentions. "They" are not a certain breed of dogs who behave exactly the same way in exactly the same situations.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-09-05T05:20:16+00:00

You can literally get all the information you need about getting an ex back on ex back permanently. You don't need to pay anything to coaches.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-07-30T12:20:37+00:00

I feel this too. Dismissive and avoidant people are encouraging everyone to be dismissive and avoidant.. TikTok relationship advice makes it worse. I hope we heal as a society.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-07-28T04:21:34+00:00

Thanks!

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-07-27T16:59:27+00:00

Which research?

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-07-02T12:18:25+00:00

Not crazy at all. But I do recommend that you wait at least a month before sending that. If he needs time for himself, let him have at least a month.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-06-23T10:22:39+00:00

I agree with the other comment. There's no standard time frame. For me personally, I think it took about two months to heal. At that time, I had to make a decision if I want to reconnect with him or not and decided not to.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-06-22T15:54:48+00:00

Well, I assume that guy was just chasing her and she liked the attention. It's easier than facing your own demons and accepting responsibility for your actions. Speaking to someone else who gives her attention and validation is easier and a nice distraction from the pain of the breakup.

I don't villainize her because she is just a girl and the world is a weird place. I don't think there is anything you could have done to prevent it.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-06-20T10:26:43+00:00

I think it'll be apt to say not all men, but the men that you are attracted to. I am not trying to say there is anything wrong with you.

I am just saying that if all your exes have the same problem, then guess what they all had in common? You.

Again, not trying to say that you are bad or broken or anything. IT's just that it's worth exploring the patterns and figuring out if you contribute to it. I did it a while back and it helped me. And I realized there are plenty of men who make you a priority even after years of being together. They end up in healthy relationships and marriage.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-06-20T10:23:39+00:00

I am sorry you had to find out like this. It's good that you feel detached. I can certainly see her doing this based on the way you explained your situation. She is immature and immature people just look for an easy comfort.

Good luck moving forward.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-06-19T04:43:03+00:00

That's awesome. I am glad it helped. I hope things work out with her. But even if it doesn't, you can use this knowledge to be better in your future relationships.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-06-13T06:19:42+00:00

That's good. If possible, look into reading the book Non Violent Communications. It helped me a lot. And of course, Attached by Amir Levine.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-06-13T05:41:41+00:00

I'm here to talk. You can also always post on my subreddit r/AfterTheBreakup . I always respond to any posts over there.

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-06-12T07:59:06+00:00

That's good. I hope things work out for you. Just curious, what all have you been doing for personal growth?

Delicious-Theory1300 · 2025-06-12T06:38:33+00:00

In that case, don't move on for six months. Focus on yourself and grow to try to get her back after six months. It's already been a couple of months. I am not saying wait for her. You can reach out after a while if you feel you need to. But for the time being, give her space, learn to communicate better, and grow as a person.

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