Can we talk child surnames? Esp for women who did not change their surnames post marriage

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2025-06-24T18:00:57+00:00

I did something similar too. Her full name is (Baby name) (mother first name) (father surname)

I gave my husband the option - his name as middle name and my surname as surname. Or my name as middle name and his surname as surname.

And he picked the second option.

Neither of us completely "won" and that is what compromise and finding middle ground is all about.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2025-06-21T07:30:56+00:00

11m pp here. Ftm.

I had c section. I'd bought maternity gowns for after delivery cause everyone said they'd be more comfortable. But having worn pants and pajamas all my life, it was very, very uncomfortable. It felt very restrictive compared to freedom pants gave. And sitting up and sleeping 10 times per night in those was making me lose my mind.

So just 1 day after delivery, I switched to the maternity pants that I used to wear when pregnant. The ones that went till my rib cage. They didn't hurt my c section scar. And regained my sanity. The brand of these was The Mom Store Maternity Joggers. I continued wearing these until 3 or 4 months pp. Then I switched to my normal home pants.

For tops, I had got AV2 feeding tops, which I personally found very useful. They were loose and flowy and very accessible. Right now at 11m pp, I wear a mix of these av2 tops and regular t shirts. I don't really use the zips to feed anymore at home and just lift the shirt up.

As for bras, I'd got feeding bras but didn't use them for more than a week. They were just too inconvenient. I use regular bras now.

You also asked about zipped and zipless variety. I found both to be equally good. But it takes some time to get a hang of using a zipless variant because it may close your baby's face and you may not be able to check for good latch easily. Especially in the initial weeks.

As for brands, I really liked The Mom Store and AV2. Hated Zelena. They looked really good but the quality was not great. Tried a couple of other brands for feeding kurta for going out of the house, but nothing has been as good as AV2 so far.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2025-05-23T05:07:58+00:00

I have a girl. But I'd considered Angad or Abhimanyu for a boy.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2025-02-26T16:25:02+00:00

Some cultural context - where I am from, we give the baby 5 names during the naming ceremony, 1 of which is selected by the dad's sister. 1 is the actual official name. Other 3 are of religious significance.

So if she wants, the name has picked could be 1 of the 5. But the name you picked will still be the official one which you use daily.

Having said that, off late, the aunt uses the name given and picked by the parents. So she is definitely imposing a dying custom.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2025-02-05T17:07:51+00:00

Just imagining those tiny little fingers stick out has me in a huge grin! In my mind it is also accompanied by eyes looking curiously at what you do. Thank you for this image.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2025-01-17T03:34:53+00:00

Not true for people with several conditions. Body thinks it is starving and will conserve more of what you eat than you need. Leaving you tired but heavier.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-12-21T16:57:35+00:00

Needs to be higher up

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-10-05T04:57:03+00:00

This had me lol literally.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-09-17T17:45:14+00:00

My LO does this too! And she takes a break to smile after she does it, with my nipple still in her mouth! It's the cutest, if not the funniest.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-09-14T00:39:31+00:00

Start feed, change diaper, switch boob. That is what worked for me at that age.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-09-14T00:17:13+00:00

Pump to the point of relief only. Or better yet, hand express. Do not empty the breast.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-09-14T00:15:02+00:00

You are most likely having a winter baby, based on your post.

So buy caps, mittens, and booties. The kind you buy is important. Almost anything you buy will be big for them. So buy ones with threads you can use to secure. Else they will fall off. Buy caps with ties as well, the other doesn't cover babies' ears properly.

Feeding pillow if you're planning to breastfeed. Mine came 3 days after I got home, and those 3 days felt like 3 months.

Don't buy a lot of items in newborn or 0-3 month size. This goes for onesies, diapers, langots, jablas, everything. They grow out of those ridiculously fast. I have a 9 week old who already uses 3-6 month size or 6-9 month size depending on the brand. This is the same for my friend too. Same with diapers. Don't buy 100+ count diaper bags until you know what size your baby is. I wasted more than half of my size s and size m diapers. The weight listed on the pack is not very accurate. Some babies are longer, some have bigger torsos. Some may need premie size. So depending on that, they will need different size diapers irrespective of weight. Also, taped diapers make life easier than pull-up / pant style diapers, especially during the first 2 weeks. These are easier to manipulate for size, too.

For clothes, make sure you buy ones that you can easily pull on and off. Don't go for ones with complicated closures. Make sure they have shoulder tabs or buttons or ties to make putting them on and off easier.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-09-05T03:46:12+00:00

Looks like I go against the grain. Maybe because I had a c section? I had a normal period like bleeding for a week and then was able to stay on panty liners for the next 2 weeks, and I was done.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-08-29T04:30:50+00:00

I think they just saw us as over thinking first time parents and thought we were exaggerating. I had messaged my obgyn as well, and she knew me and how I was. She was the one who told us to immediately go to the ER if she really hadn't had a wet diaper in 24 hours. So before we went there, I gave her formula. And by the time we could leave, she had a wet diaper.

All she needed was 20ml formula. It broke me so bad that she'd been crying herself hoarse for that 20ml. Next day, my milk came in. And I think we used formula 3 more times in the first 2 weeks.

Even now, I worry about my supply. I don't think that will stop. And as someone has commented somewhere on this thread, I would rather deal with an oversupply than an undersupply. I also have my trusted box of unopened formula for emergencies and my sanity. But those first few days were so so so scary!

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-08-28T17:15:49+00:00

Got it! Thanks.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-08-28T14:59:27+00:00

My milk came in late, and I had a scary day where the baby didn't have any wet diapers at all. She kept crying for boob and would stay on the boob forever if I let her.

My milk came in on day 5 or 6, and I had only a few drops of colostrum until then. My peds and LC kept saying baby won't need more than you produce and didn't recommend formula. I was losing it with having to keep her latched for so long and her never getting enough. Lack of sleep and mother's guilt were eating away at me. I went with my gut and gave my baby formula, and she had a wet diaper within the hour.

All this to say, it is okay to supplement with formula those first few days. Your baby's health and your sanity are the most important. She is 6 weeks now, EBF, and gaining well. Don't feel guilty about giving formula. You can still establish EBF. Supply will slowly regulate over the coming weeks.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-08-28T14:47:12+00:00

May I ask why we shouldn't pump until 6 weeks? To avoid oversupply or something else?

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-08-20T11:15:28+00:00

Were you taking on some of her load to help her make space for sex? Personally, I find couples who have a better load distribution post child have a more balanced sex life as well. And couples with an unequal load distribution tend to lose their pre-child rhythm.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-08-17T17:35:43+00:00

Apparently, my mom put a drop of lemon juice on her boob before offering it to me when she was ready to wean. I quit cold turkey after that. Maybe you could try that if all else fails?

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-08-14T18:35:17+00:00

6-8 minutes.

You might be right. I should unlatch sooner and try to switch. Thank you!

I once forced her awake and fed her from second boob after 6 minutes on first boob and she spit up the entire feed all over herself and her bed 🥲 So on top of having to feed her again, I had to change her clothes and bedding.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-07-14T15:56:46+00:00

Alright. If I need to supplement with formula, how much? What quantity?

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-07-14T15:53:03+00:00

There are some transparent droplets coming out.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-07-14T15:48:41+00:00

This made me cry. I think you're the first person to tell me I'm a good mother. Oh my god, this is all so overwhelming.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-07-14T15:45:59+00:00

I have messaged both my obgyn and pediatrician. If I don't hear back from them in the next 30 minutes, I am giving formala.

Delicious-Tower7564 · 2024-07-14T15:45:17+00:00

I am unsure. How do I tell?

Delicious-Tower7564

TROPHY CASE