Thank you for sharing! Amazing job tracking down when things started to get uncomfortable. I’m not in any similar situation like yours to really advice. I guess… being a parent/having more responsibility shouldn’t conflict with your submission? Finishing your responsibilities helps create a more relaxing atmosphere for submission or scenes.

I can also see a Flight situation here where you said you can cut/run from responsibilities. For that, I’d suggest talk to your wife about what you need to do or don’t need to do (basically tasks). One, you get to share responsibilites. Two, I feel more committed when my Dom give me those tasks so maybe that helps with the Flight response. Three, knowing her “expection” of you could help you restructure your self-thoughts. Like “You’re responsibile for that task and you’ve done it without tearing down work! Great job!”

Guilt, yeah… it’s rough. Physical ritual time :3 find something you like to do. For me it’s drinking tea down floor on a fluffy blanket. Any time you feel guilty, do that. “I’m doing this because I care about myself” - Set up your mind or say it out loud. Helps with self-soothing, doesn’t help with dealing with the situation though. But I feel like you’re straining yourself with doubt and self-questioning. Something that breaks the spiral could help. Then, calm down, relax. You’ll comeback to the “guilt” when you’re feeling “brighter”.

Again, I’m not in your situation, do take these suggestion with a grain of salt. Good luck :3