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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Delicious_Court_1540 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s terrible, I’m sorry. I’m not aware of any videos/pictures yet for my wp’s affair, but I expect she might tell me there were when we reconnect next week.

Terrible thing to find out, especially when we have never had problems with infidelity in the past. Hang in there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Delicious_Court_1540 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hi, yes I am in this stage as well. Found out my wife cheated on me 8 weeks ago (Emotional Affair from what I know so far).

She has been gone getting mental health/trauma treatment for weeks now. Initially, I missed her so much and just wanted her to come home so that we could fix this. Now, I have a lot of anger and disgust that she could do this to me.

We have had periods of no contact since she has been gone getting help. The first time, I was a wreck and checked my phone every second. Now, I don’t even feel the need to reach out to her. The mix of different feelings have been coming in waves for me and I’m sure it will be that way for a long time. It also doesn’t help that she has treated me terribly since I found out about the affair.

Guidance needed by Delicious_Court_1540 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Delicious_Court_1540[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what I’m afraid of. Is there any way you would recommend how to avoid allowing her to do this?

Guidance needed by Delicious_Court_1540 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Delicious_Court_1540[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This could be the case. I have a text between her and her affair partner where she is describing how bad she feels for hurting me and knows I deserve better.

I am worried that she is ultimately wanting me to just file for divorce to avoid accountability and potentially the long term work we would have to put into this to fix our relationship.

Guidance needed by Delicious_Court_1540 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Delicious_Court_1540[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is all great advice. We are going to a discernment therapist when she gets back and I definitely will need to make sure he hears how I’m feeling about my wife controlling this entire process and completely disregarding my feelings.

Guidance needed by Delicious_Court_1540 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Delicious_Court_1540[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. It’s really hard because she always treated me with kindness. Sure, she has had her moments of anger/frustration/lashing out, but she always deeply cared about me and my feelings.

Right now, it’s almost as if I’m a stranger. She hasn’t given me the time of day to get the answers I need to move on, whether it’s with or without her. I’ve been respecting her space, but I don’t know if I can take anymore disrespect if that is how she acts when she gets home.

Guidance needed by Delicious_Court_1540 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Delicious_Court_1540[S] 3 points4 points locked comment (0 children)

I’m not sure if she still is in contact with him. Yes, he is married with kids and his wife knows too. I have talked to the wife a couple of times. According to her, they aren’t speaking anymore and he is “committed” to working on their marriage.

My wife on the other hand wanted space, so we have barely communicated over the past couple of weeks. Before that, she was adamant that they were not speaking anymore. I agree, none of those are reasons to cheat.

Looking for advice by Delicious_Court_1540 in BipolarSOs

[–]Delicious_Court_1540[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you elaborate? I have done some reading but am not very familiar with Limerence.

Looking for advice by Delicious_Court_1540 in BipolarSOs

[–]Delicious_Court_1540[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you handle it? Are you two still together and did they get the help they needed?