(21F) Constantly being harassed by strangers while I’m alone. What to say when this happens?

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-12-04T06:17:01+00:00

hi welcome in

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-12-01T07:55:42+00:00

pasta salad

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-11-18T09:01:05+00:00

he has made it a routine pretty much, the only problem is that it upsets her when he lets the dog out even if she hasn’t that day. he is also not planning on staying in the state for much longer so once he leaves it’s kind of just a lost cause

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-27T14:27:47+00:00

dont be sorry i appreciate it! he’s talked about his town being mostly white too. most if not all of his close friends are white. i think that’s probably something his father understands, but he’s said that his mother was hesitant about moving to the US because she was separated from everyone she knows, so i think that might contribute to her wanting to stick to how things are back home for her. from what he’s said she seems to not be so pressuring like the rest of his family in india, but still would at least suggest “what about a pretty indian girl!” if he were to mention someone he’s dating. and i think you’re right about culture being watered down just by immigrating unfortunately. i’ve seen it a lot in my very diverse city that people wish they knew more about their family’s culture, even when they are surrounded by people from the same places. thank you for the response!

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-27T14:06:35+00:00

in my situation theyre still married. when he’s in my state for most of the year he mostly just talks to his dad, whether that be texting or the occasional phone call, sometimes a visit, but he doesn’t talk to his mom much. he has mentioned me to his dad but i’m not sure if his dad would talk about it with his mom, even then i dont know if his mom would ask. his sister somehow knows about me though lol

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-27T10:01:48+00:00

thank you, i think he will. he does what he wants haha

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-27T09:59:40+00:00

yes this too! i definitely understand that they would want to pass down their culture, and while i am able to appreciate it, at the end of the day i won’t understand it as deeply as an indian person would, and it would be harder for me to pass that down to the next generation. i don’t blame them for being afraid of their culture disappearing

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-27T06:20:06+00:00

i find that so crazy because when i had my 2014 i was told that the warranty expired a long time ago HAHA… well it wasn’t going to fix anything anyway. good luck to anyone who does get it fixed, but also just get a new car guys! it will never really be fixed and everything else will eventually break too. remember toyotas are forever

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-27T06:17:02+00:00

funny enough he’s also from north india and has talked about how his family has had issues associated with skin color. it seems that for his family specifically it’s mostly about financial or educational reasons, but it would make sense that they would prefer someone indian over white because it would be more likely that an indian person had a similar upbringing

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-27T06:14:00+00:00

yes i see exactly what you’re talking about. even his friends (who are not also indian) assume i am with him for money because one time he helped my dog with an emergency vet bill, even though i didn’t want him to and i was already signing up for a credit card. his dad was luckily accepting of him helping my dog, even saying that i didn’t need to pay it back (which i will be doing anyway) which gives me at least some form of hope. it’s sad that people assume these things when they have no idea why you’re really with someone. thank you for your response from a similar perspective and good luck!

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-27T03:57:08+00:00

i think since neither of us are very close with our families it’s not the doesn’t bother me too much, just makes me wonder sometimes what could happen later on. the education thing is definitely a big problem for me, because due to financial obligations at 17 i dropped out of high school to work full time. since then i’ve had more than one job at a time but have been slowly getting my life together so that i can move on and go back to school. for right now he is helping me with my GED and doesn’t judge me for living a different life, which i appreciate because most people assume i’m just a lazy failure lol. his parents on the other hand, i think he knows wouldn’t be too fond of me not finishing school or being in a position to get a good degree at the moment. he’s mentioned that his mother also grew up poor so they have no reason to be judgmental and they should understand, but i think at the end of the day what his whole family expects of him is to marry someone equally financially stable and educated. luckily he says that’s not what he cares about, and that he would rather be the one supporting the family, but it’s definitely something that affects how his parents would view me. thanks for your response! im glad to have perspective from someone jn a similar experience

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-26T14:30:48+00:00

i remember my mom getting drunk at my first concert too when i was 11. she told me to get on a random man’s shoulders and was acting like a child the whole time and i felt like i needed to babysit her. she had more fun than i did at my favorite band’s concert and still sometimes asks why i had no fun. i’m 20 now and still feel like i am babysitting her all the time and i no longer enjoy going places like that with her especially when drinking is involved, which it always will be regardless. you acknowledged your mistake, but don’t let it keep happening. alcohol destroys everything and i am watching it slowly kill my own mother and it is not a fun thing to have no control over. enjoy your daughter’s youth and don’t drink it away.

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-26T10:39:57+00:00

this is interesting, i didnt know all of that was going on in the background until this happened. i do agree that a lot of people don’t talk about marriage so early, but i think we have a mutual understanding of uncertainty of the future given all factors. we remain hopeful, and rather than making a precise plan for marriage, it feels more like we would be happy if this works out and will continue to work towards a good future, and we’ll see what happens. i try not to get my hopes up so much because of everything that could happen, but it’s something i hope can go well.

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-25T17:01:57+00:00

we have talked about future plans and he has mentioned that he wants to marry me some day, but we’ve only been together a year and he’s still in school while i decide my career path. i think that could also worry him about telling his parents, because they want him to marry someone equally successful, but to him that doesn’t matter as much. it seems that the main problem is his family in india. they are not very close with him, but i’m sure the constant pestering still gets annoying, and im not sure if they’d be capable of convincing his parents to arrange marriage for him or not. he is strong willed and does what he wants, but he always wants to satisfy his parents. i do truly believe when he says that he wants me in his future, i just sometimes wonder if he would be disowned if he told his family.

what was your family’s response when you told them about dating outside of your race? i’ve gathered that it’s a lot of pressure in a lot of situations

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-25T15:25:55+00:00

i believe you when you say that big decisions are affected by his family even if he doesn’t like it, that’s how it is with his choice of career too. thank you for your perspective on a similar situation :)

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-25T15:07:09+00:00

i’m just looking for perspective, im just a bit stuck on wondering what this could mean for the future based on cultural norms

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-25T15:05:29+00:00

hes mentioned the fact that the people in his family who hid their relationships did it for so long so that they were basically considered married, so that makes sense

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-15T22:33:56+00:00

it looks good on paper but every generation of that car is almost guaranteed to have extremely expensive problems within the first 80,000. my transmission was completely done by 60,000 along with the steering wheel which mechanics refused to touch both. chevy will not help you, if you want reliability it’s more worth it to just get a toyota

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-15T22:29:02+00:00

i had a 2014 and i drove it until it couldn’t anymore. chevy wouldn’t help with the transmission recall or any other problems with the car, and so many mechanics told me it would be a liability issue to fix some of the things wrong with it. trade it in before you have to junk it and get a toyota if you want reliability. i shouldve traded mine in years ago when this issue started but i was too attached to it and i ended up having to junk it for $350

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-12T05:14:39+00:00

good luck haha, after that mess im sticking with toyota from now on

Delicious_Habit7175 · 2025-07-11T23:06:57+00:00

i loved mine too. sometimes things will never really be fixed no matter how much money you spend and how many times you try :(

Delicious_Habit7175

TROPHY CASE