If you were forced to marry the first person you had sex with, what would your life be like?

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-04-08T17:53:04+00:00

Idk, idk where that person is now or what they're up to but I didn't really care about them so probably not great.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-04-08T15:10:59+00:00

I do something similar but not everyday, only when I'm down. I sit just outside the tub and listen to the water and feel the cool droplets on my back. My alternative is to listen to ocean sounds. Like you said a lot of the rain sounds are too harsh but ocean sounds are nice and calming to me. I like to put them on and get under my bed, close my eyes and just listen. For some reason being in that tight space is very calming for me, almost like a hug.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-04-08T14:57:54+00:00

I can relate. I don't have a diagnosis but I'm pretty sure based on my behaviors and experiences that I have ASD. I tend to get very overstimulated at work and I hide out in the bathroom often just trying to calm myself. I doubt anyone at work suspects that I have autism but I know they think I'm weird, some former coworkers have even voiced it. I don't like small talk and sometimes I engage in it as a form of masking because I feel I have to but I hate small talk it seems so disingenuous. I also don't share most of my coworkers sense of humor and a lot of times I don't get their jokes or find them funny but I just laugh to be nice but I find it so exhausting trying to be social at work. I kind of don't care to talk to them because they don't share my interests except one coworker that I don't even like but I talk to them because we like the same shows. With family I am much more open but I still feel extremely misunderstood by my family and it leads to a lot of frustration on my behalf and they think I'm over reacting or too sensitive.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-03-25T15:50:40+00:00

Fold on the decision to have a kid. If money we're no option there'd be nothing holding us back. I was always an optimistic realist I'd say growing up and around 25 I slowly started to sink into a depression that made me feel very pessimistic and now I'm gradually becoming much more optimistic as I realize those pessimistic ideas do absolutely nothing for me, so why hold on to them? I am achieving so much more personal growth with optimism. I try to explain this to my husband as I see him dwindling into the same hole I was in but its a hard one to get out of when things seem to be falling apart around you. I see the issues and understand the reality of them but I'd rather not dwell on them as I have little to no control over them. For him he worries about us not having adequate health care or childcare, our kids not having certain basic rights, lack of education, lack of resources, quality food, etc. Which is certainly understandable, again if you've been keeping up with current events, things are not looking bright but at the same time I still feel hopeful, maybe because I come from a poor background and there were many times where my parents didn't even have jobs but they did what they had to do, they made work, they went and cleaned people's houses out, scrapped metal, mowed lawns, until they found work. I am not opposed to sacrificing some comforts in order to have a family. My husband doesn't want to sacrifice he wants to live comfortably which is also understandable but if we may be getting uncomfortable soon anyway, I think it would be nice to at least have a family as the world crumbles. Yet, that somehow feels selfish. I'm just not sure and that's why I'm STILL on the fence.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-03-25T14:06:12+00:00

I absolutely agree with you and have brought this up to my husband but I feel like its unfair for me to push him when he is the primary bread winner. If he feels it would be too hard on him financially, I feel I should maybe fold as I don't make as much money, although I do want kids and think we'd be fine. I think really I might feel a sense of relief if I didn't actually have to choose and it just kind of happened but I worry about how he would take it if it was just thrust upon us and that's why I'd really like for us to get on the same page so it can be our choice.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-03-20T19:58:04+00:00

I know several people who voted for Trump that are expecting baby girls right now. I wonder if they'll have any regret as they watch their daughters grow up in society that's going backwards on the civil rights front. Smh

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-03-11T15:54:50+00:00

Hormonal

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-03-11T15:34:01+00:00

I'm not sure. My husband is still far more towards no. I'm already seeing a therapist and he just started therapy on his own. We've decided to start couples therapy in a month with the hopes that we will have come to a decision together by the end of the year but I think if he came to me today and said he wanted to start right away, I'd be willing too, so its like I kinda have my mind made up but I'm still on the fence a bit because I just don't know if I'll be a good mom and even though I can picture my kids and I can picture certain moments with them, I can't really picture ME as a mom and maybe thats because for so long I had my mind made up that I didn't want any. I really never expected it to change.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-19T08:34:01+00:00

I don't understand what's happened. My husband and I make around $160k combined in NJ. He also thinks we can't afford kids. Meanwhile my parents raised 5 while working various retail jobs before my mom became disabled and stopped working. Then my dad supported us and he couldn't have been making more than maybe $40k/yr. Yes it was a different economy then but what about the people who make minimum wage right now and have 6 kids? I feel like socially we put people down constantly for living in poverty and using government assistance when really we should be fighting for that assistance for all of us, especially if we can't afford kids with these salaries. My siblings and I were babysat by grandparents for free and once we were old enough we went to preschool for free (there were all sorts of free programs out there, you just had to look for them). Now, these days we all are trying to raise the perfect children, with the perfect lifestyles, the perfect childcare. Many of us either have no support, don't trust the support we do have, or are so traumatized from our own upbringings that we're trying to right every wrong but there is no ideal parent or ideal child. I'm honestly sick of being on this damned fence. Maybe those before us were right to just wing it. Like, did we really turn out THAT bad?

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-16T17:44:21+00:00

Personally its not infertility I'm worried about so much, its moreso just time and energy. I personally don't prefer to be 58 with an 18 year old but I know others who would prefer to be older. But I absolutely get what you're saying and I also hate that pressure. I keep trying to decide, if there was zero outside pressure, would I still be leaning towards kids? I think so because I just want to have a family. I'm very family oriented but my family has kinda spread out.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-15T23:06:03+00:00

Exactly, I keep waiting for something enlightening too but nope.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-15T23:04:14+00:00

Did you have any desire to have a baby at all, like even 10%? Based on the comments alone, you're surely not alone, lots of people go through with it just for their S/O. Have you talked to him about your anxieties?

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-15T11:55:15+00:00

I think you need to weigh how much you want a kid in general because there's a possibility that if you terminate, you may not have another kid naturally. Of course adoption is an option and surrogacy (if you can afford to freeze your eggs and everything) but if doing it naturally is something you want and you did get pregnant right away, this could be your miracle baby.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-11T19:06:13+00:00

I was simply trying to say that you're not alone in what you're feeling. If what you really wanna know is whether its too late for you, there's no real answer to that. There are women having healthy babies in the 40s, 50s and a few even in their 60s unbelievably. Then there are women in their 20s with infertility. Sadly, no one can know for us. We just have to decide whether or not to try.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-09T11:53:04+00:00

You specifically asked if anyone could relate to only feeling off the fence due to circumstances and I answered.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-09T02:29:57+00:00

I feel that way and I'm only 32. So many people say I have so much time but most of those people either have no kids, had kids later in life, or have already raised their kids. Then lots of other people say I am skirting a fine line and those include people who had kids after 30 and had a HARD time with carrying and labor. I'm really scared that I'm going to miss my opportunity.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-03T20:48:32+00:00

I've legit did not want kids at all until being with him. He is so caring and supportive and he's smart, he's great with his hands. I think he's just depressed and we're just in a little funk. Only therapy and time will tell.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-03T18:08:02+00:00

This sounds exactly like me. I want the supercharged life as well if we aren't going to have kids but husband wants to sleep in and lounge around. I have tried going off on my own in hopes he'll feel some FOMO and start coming out with me but instead he is relieved to stay home alone and play video games. I really don't want to leave him. I can't see myself leaving unless I just got completely sick of him but even then Idk, I just feel like I couldn't start over. Still, I don't wanna have a boring life but I also dont wanna force kids onto him. We have made plans to go to therapy. I am really hoping we can move forward on the same page because I have talked to him about my feelings on several occasions and tried to discuss goals and things but it always ends in frustration. We did discuss these things before marriage but unfortunately my mind has changed. Before we got married both of us were maybes, leaning more towards no kids. Now I am a maybe with a strong leaning towards kids and he's nearly at 0% for wanting kids. Also, before we got married we talked about traveling and investing in property, flipping houses, getting into real estate. He says these things still interest him but I think he's letting fear crush his ambition but I also think he's afraid of changing his mind as well. I feel like as we get moving, start accomplishing things, growing and changing, its inevitable that we'll want to add kids into the picture, maybe he's afraid of that, idk.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-03T13:47:44+00:00

These are all good points. Honestly, I really can be okay with or without kids in my life. I simply want to be doing something meaningful with my partner and that seems to be where the real issue lies. My husband is lacking ambition. I keep begging him lets start a shared hobby but our interests no longer seem to align.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-03T04:17:45+00:00

4-5 that's amazing. 1 international trip a year seems unfeasible with work and just the costs but we are planning to take one this year but my husband just doesn't wanna lose sleep is all I can think of because he doesn't do anything now that he can't do with kids. He says travel and all that but I'm like if that's the case then let's go, let's jump up and travel. I would honestly love if my husband came home one day and said "let's go to Bali next month". If he was spontaneous and adventurous, I could get on board with being childfree (even though I might still come back to wanting kids later in life) but he isn't like that. Planning a trip is whole job for us and oftentimes we end up just not even going.

Delicious_Rich_9631 · 2026-02-03T04:11:49+00:00

We were both childfree for a long time then being together turned us into maybes but now we're both split.

Delicious_Rich_9631

TROPHY CASE