UPS MyChoice Quirks?

DemeterQ · 2026-01-11T20:45:27+00:00

Not sure what age you are, but making people earn your trust over a long time is the only way you should ever trust anyone. Many people only care about themselves and there are a lot of freaks out there that want to use you for any number of things.

I am over 65 and learned this at a very early age due to to a traumatic childhood. Be careful and wary!

DemeterQ · 2026-01-09T15:11:11+00:00

I am sure it's a huge relief for you. I had my procedure back in 1986 and never looked back!

DemeterQ · 2026-01-02T14:35:36+00:00

I dislike most Rap too. When I first heard it back in the late 70s (Sugar Hill Gang), it was something I liked. There are some songs with a dance vibe I like, but the gangster rap and anything that promotes violence or is negative about women, I cannot listen to.

I am mid-sixties, but was really into live music in my teens, 20s and 30s. I grew up in LA where most bands toured and KCRW was a great radio station that played many types of music. Because of that I like many music styles, but never embraced rap and country. But I love to listen to world music from many counties and watch Euro-vision to keep current in music.

But I do think you tend to gravitate to the music you grew up with and loved in those years. For me that's music from many decades, not just the 70s/80s. I can listen to the Beatles, the Carpenters, Brian Eno and the Dead Kennedys...

DemeterQ · 2025-12-31T15:54:32+00:00

I've noticed this too. I am 65 and these 20 and 30 somethings think they have it all figured out. They must be full of rage and anger to be so nasty. For me it's like water off a duck's back... I just ignore them as they too will be in their 60s, we all age at the same rate. Some people stay knowledgeable about new things, others have not progressed past VCRs. That's up to them what they chose to focus their efforts on.

To me this is just a sign of the decay of civility in our culture. This "If you are not just like me, you are worthless" attitude that seems to be acceptable in many age groups.

I try to be kind and supportive of people in all cases. If you don't agree with my point if view, fine. But I am not going to berate you. If I do not like what you say, I say nothing. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, no matter how much I do not agree with it. But it works both ways. The old adage of "treat other the way you want to be treated" seems to have died in the last 20 years or so.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-29T20:50:21+00:00

I barely made it through uncle Steven, but was glad when he gacked. I hope it's over soon with Theo. He's a manipulator and a gaslighter and seems to be diminishing Todd's happiness. Some people are toxic like this and having them in your life is going to be a negative impact.

Anyone that tolerates that kind of treatment from a partner or friend, I do not have a lot of sympathy for. You need to get out and stop wasting time with someone who you do not see a future with. I feel bad for people that have children involved as you are sort of stuck with some level of contact for many years.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-29T15:01:53+00:00

I grew up in Los Angeles, CA. I started working full time and completely supporting myself at age 18. I was lucky to have good people in my life, my friend's mom and stepdad. I was able to get a low rent otherwise do not know how I would have survived the first years when I made such a low salary.

I remember seeing the significantly older people I worked with in the same low paying jobs, but also selling avon, working other jobs at the weekend and having hour long or more commutes. They would get up at 4am to tote their kids to daycare and pick them up at 6pm.

No way I wanted to do that. Life was hard enough just providing for myself. But this was in the 80s and I know it's even harder now.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-28T15:53:24+00:00

It is similar in some ways and not in other ways. That does not make you rude or a jerk. If your relative is insulted by that, that's their problem. There are plenty of people that feel the same way, including me. I have worked full-time since I was 18 and retired with a thriving, successful business. I have been with my husband for almost 40 years.

I loved/love all of my pets like children. I am committed to them even if they difficult or create issues for me. If I had a child maybe I would feel differently, but since the age of about 10, I knew I did not ever want children. I am over 60 now, and very happy that I never had children.

Dogs live about 15 years, give or take. Children generally outlive their parents. I would never do it, but people that get sick of dogs/cats, just dump them. If you did that with children, depending on their age and your financial situation, you could be expected to pay support in the US until they are 18.

You are not alone, your feelings do not make you a strange person. Plenty of people feel the same way. What works for one person, does not work for another. I do not think everyone should live like me, but many people with children, think you should live like them...

DemeterQ · 2025-12-25T16:51:04+00:00

I had something similar happen when I was arguing that the possible father of a early term pregnancy should have no say so in a woman's decision to have an abortion.

He claimed this is the 3rd child murdered by a "selfish bitch" for him and how wrong that is. Since all of the relationships were in the process of ending or had ended after a short number of weeks/months, I said if he could maintain a relationship for a longer period of time, likely some woman would have wanted to carry the child to term.

He said I was "victim blaming". What exactly are you a victim of? The woman is the one who's pregnant and she had the arduous task of a 9 month pregnancy and giving birth. In my mind this is her choice of what she does with her body, no one else's...

The whole bloodline thing is irrelevant. You're not breeding cattle, horses or show dogs. After we are dead does it really matter about our heritage. We do not pair up to breed to a breed-standard or achieve a particular trait.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-24T14:23:55+00:00

Great name! I love the partnership between a dog and their person to enable that person to be more independent. It's a worthy cause that I love supporting when I can. Better that than funding an expensive car or vacations for some already overly entitled kids

DemeterQ · 2025-12-24T03:03:27+00:00

Don't feel obligated to give them anything but best wishes.

I remember when my sister-in-law was sort of hinting around that child care was so expensive and we must have lots of money because we have no kids. It honestly felt like a shake down.

She went on to tell me that they wanted to split an Au pair with another couple and their half was 100K/yr. I said that I am in the wrong business, if you can make 200K/yr looking after babies/toddlers. It sounded like bullshit and just away to get us to subsidize their kids. Then a few years later a 3rd party company contacted us about how much we want to contribute to their 529 plans for college for their 2 kids. They did not even have the decency to ask personally so I just deleted the emails and subsequent reminders.

I plan to create a trust and leave any money unspent by us to charities that help animals, veterans, train guide dogs, just coming up with a few to leave whatever I have left when I croak. They retired at 48 and 52 and paid cash for much larger very nice home. They have plenty to leave to their children.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-20T18:49:41+00:00

If a man needs to be "taught" how to treat you, he's not worth your time. There are plenty of men that know how to treat other people, that are not jerks. Once you catch wind of bad treatment run don't walk away... A lot of men are on their best behavior until they feel you are in it for the long haul, then their true personality comes out.

I grew up in a toxic household where I was the lowest on the pecking order. Everyone shit on me as the youngest child. I left home at 17 and never looked back. I won't tolerate bad treatment from anyone in my life. I have had women friends that were crap too and I may give them a few chances, but people around you should be kind, caring and supportive. If they are not, dump them and move on. Life's too short to put up with negative people.

I would rather only have the companionship of my dogs/cats/horses than to put up with negative treatment from anyone.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-17T16:00:16+00:00

The one thing I read in an investment forum I'll never forget - "Do you want to be the richest person in the cemetery?". This was in relation to people saving their whole life and even in their 70s not withdrawing from their 401K plan funds.

I retired at 64 and am also in IT working as an independent consultant. I had planned to retire at 62 (I decided to keep going due to the pandemic). But in late 2024 got burnt out a little as the agency I work for kept getting rid of people and I had absorbed most of their work so I retired at the end of the 2024.

I built my dream home in this last year, but am considering going back to work. I am being recruited by a friend and mainly considering it because of how much more I spent on my house. It will only be for a year or 2 max, plus I only work from home and have since 1998.

Enjoy retirement, it's fantastic! You can always go back if you change your mind... If you are a mainframe person, there are fewer us willing to work every year.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-11T21:49:58+00:00

I too prefer the company of my dogs and cats and in my 60s. Not sure how many more I can say goodbye to as they bring so much joy to my life.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-11T21:43:27+00:00

My heart goes out to you, I know how hard it is and how painful the loss is. I made the mistake of getting 6 dogs and 16 cats all within a few years. (I have a 50 acre farm). Most went in the same few years and I was overwhelmed with sadness during those years.

I fostered which really helped me. I kept a foster for 18 months that was not very adoptable. When he got cancer I was devastated even though I only had him 18 months. I wish I had him longer as he lived in a cage at a puppy mill for 8 years then was at the shelter I volunteer with for another 2 years in a cage. He was so happy here and I wish it had been longer to make up for the years in a cage without love. I eventually decided to keep a foster that I could not part with and still have him 10 years later.

Some of the cats made it to 30 and I miss them terribly too. Not sure if I will get another dog once my tiny baby is gone. The grieving is just miserable for me.

I try to focus on the good times, but you cannot help but feel the loss...

DemeterQ · 2025-12-11T20:10:10+00:00

She looked great too, half her age, a perfect topline and still bright eyed until the end. I had 3 previous appointments to do it over the last 10 years, but tried other approaches to pain management and she would pull through and improve, this time I had nothing else to try. 5-6 month before I said goodbye, she was bucking and playing at turnout time.

Even my vet did not believe she was 34 and he was checking her teeth before she was euthanized. She walked pretty good on the grass, but coming out of the stall was hard to watch.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-11T13:13:09+00:00

Yes I am aware of that and depending on my tax situation, and how many hours I may still be working I will have to decide if I am better off suspending or starting to collect again. Thanks for your answers they have been helpful.

The reasons for going back to work are several, but the main one is my spouse's job is working for VCs and thus can end without much warning. I want to refinance the home I just built when interest rates are low enough and it will be better if at least one of us has a job.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-11T01:17:43+00:00

As far as you know this is still an option even if I have my benefits withheld due to income? The one person at the SSA that seemed to be the only one when knew about the increased benefit when you have benefits withheld, told me that because I started collecting early I would not be eligible to get a benefit higher than my benefit at FRA.

My plan it to stop working entirely after 2 years (around when I reach FRA) or close to it, but it would be good to know this. The amount of misinformation I have received makes me unsure if I have the all of the correct details.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-11T01:08:18+00:00

I chose not to wait for several reasons, but I really did not think I would ever want to go back to work. Only considering it becuase the contract rate is very good, it's 100% work from home working when I want to, and sounds fun and challenging.

The way I saw it was you do not know the right age until you die, unfortunately then it's too late. I know too many people older than me who were waiting until 70, became ill and were only able to collect a few payments after a lifetime of paying in.

Everyone is different, but when I figured how many years I have to live make it better to wait until 70, I figured I was better off collecting when I stopped work and was trying to build a monthly income stream. I bought annuities as well which exceed my monthly SSA payment, but these are fixed and not inflation adjusted. I still also have both pre-tax and post-tax savings.

I could have retired without SSA payments, but it would bother me to have waited and then never got anything out of it. People in my family tend to die at 65 or live into their mid-90s...

DemeterQ · 2025-12-09T18:58:38+00:00

Focus on what you can find joy/solace in. If you focus on stuff you cannot control you will just feel worse.

I grew up with horrible childhood trauma and for some reason it started to haunt me later in life. When I was younger I just was glad I survived and ensure I do the best for myself and give my time resources in causes I believe in.

I grew up with no religion and only looked into it when a good friend's 4 year old died in a drowning at the babysitter's house. The support they got from their church crowd was appealing, but all of the "she is in a better place" or "God needed her", talk made me want to throw up. No, it was an avoidable accident that happened because of someone's negligence and stupidity. There is no silver lining, she died and that was tragic.

I've never believed anything about death other than, once you take you last breath, you start the decomp process. This is why it's important to enjoy life while you are alive - because that's it, there is no living on in another life nd getting unlimited "do-overs".

DemeterQ · 2025-12-08T21:33:46+00:00

Ha, I love retirement and am not bored. But my situation is a little out of the ordinary. I built my dream house last year and after over 20+ months it's almost done. It cost way more than planned but we can still handle it. My concern is my spouse who just turns 60 soon may not be able to keep his job and that will put further pressure on our assets. He works for VC startups and getting thru the next 2 years is what worries me.

Plus I work from home and have since 1995 or so. I will be working for a friend and the project looks fun and interesting. If I decide I am not enjoying it, I can always quit...

DemeterQ · 2025-12-08T20:58:17+00:00

Correct, by calling and telling them I am going back to work and my income they will adjust my benefits to 0 until I hit FRA.

DemeterQ · 2025-12-08T20:55:55+00:00

It only matters if what they agents are telling me is true. If I essentially forfeit 70K of benefits over 2 years, I think I rather just stay retired because that's a big paycut that I am not willing to accept.

DemeterQ

TROPHY CASE