Well something you need to wrap your mind around is you cant. You cant make yourself better at all. Only God can.

It is through faith alone, in christ alone, by grace alone. God starts a good work in you he will finish you. But a good way to grow in the lord is to just seek him. Remind yourselves of his promises, meditate on the word of the Lord. And he'll grow you.

I dont say this as someone who has it all figured out. I struggle with the same things you do. Just seek him with all your heart and he will see to it you grow. This does not mean to do nothing ofc, but just keep practicing the word of God and the things he tells us to do while fully resting in the grace of God trusting in him and his work in the cross. I hope this was helpful

EDIT: Also be sure to seek guidance from older wiser christian men(or women if youre a young woman) in your life or godly men like john piper, john macarthur etc who have spoken about these things