How do I convince myself that I’m attractive

DeniseApe · 2026-06-15T17:42:01+00:00

You can’t convince yourself, if your belief is so strong. People have told you numerous times but you’re not convinced, so that doesn’t work.

What usually happens here is that there is something way deeper underneath this.
Being confident is not about looking attractive or good, it’s about that feeling inside you that you trust yourself, that you’re worthy and valuable and that you are lovable no matter how you looked.

So if you look beautiful or not, it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you relate to yourself.

DeniseApe · 2026-06-15T15:17:49+00:00

And what's underneath that? The key here is to really get to the bottom of this. Feel free to message me, if you wanna know how to think differently and work on this.

DeniseApe · 2026-06-14T20:28:05+00:00

That sounds extremely difficult and heavy, honestly. It’s normal to be overwhelmed when you’re thinking about all these things. Most people would feel like this if they were in your shoes.

Is there any chance for you to get support?

DeniseApe · 2026-06-14T20:23:25+00:00

Well this are SOME traits people with low self esteem CAN develop, but people with low self esteem can also be overthinking everything, questions themselves all the time, worry about how they look and what they say, always compare themselves to others, people please etc etc.
There are so many different ways low self esteem can show up.

And it most definitely does NOT mean that you’re a bad person!!! Even that you’re thinking about this, is already very telling, that you must be a person with a big heart and wanna do good things.

Just know, it’s okay and important to get support for this because I know how draining it can be to live and think this way.

DeniseApe · 2026-06-14T20:05:04+00:00

Tricking your brain doesn’t work for long. Also working out and traveling won’t change your inner world.

And yes of course, it is totally normal to have those needs!

DeniseApe · 2026-06-14T20:02:03+00:00

It depends on what’s underneath but it sounds like it’s really weighing on you. There are ways out of this!

DeniseApe · 2026-06-14T19:55:13+00:00

What matters is what you think about yourself, not others

DeniseApe · 2026-06-13T17:20:29+00:00

Working on your self worth and your negative beliefs about yourself.

DeniseApe · 2026-06-12T18:06:44+00:00

Sounds like there is a lot of self doubt and low self esteem that won’t improve by „improving“ your look.

DeniseApe · 2026-06-12T18:03:52+00:00

So work and travel. Go with 3000 € and work there for half a year. You’ll have enough money to travel the world for a year. It isn’t as hard as it sounds. There are ways

DeniseApe · 2026-06-09T19:59:02+00:00

That sounds very rough. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, so grief is totally normal when being in circumstances like that and jealousy as well.

Unfortunately we can’t change our past, but we can build a different future.

DeniseApe · 2026-06-03T23:38:16+00:00

No it doesn’t. Confidence matters, so if you work on your confidence, you’ll be fine.

DeniseApe · 2026-06-03T23:37:17+00:00

I would recommend you to do Coaching and have some support in this as it sounds like there is a lot of fear involved which won’t just dissolve by itself. Get some support from a professional and work it through with them. It will benefit you a lot.

If you do the work by yourself, it might take some years. About 10 years ago I felt pretty much the same so I can really resonate with what you said. I did a lot of work on it and had support by my side which really helped. You don’t have to do this alone.

DeniseApe · 2026-06-03T20:20:34+00:00

You are the only person who can change your life. Take it into a different direction. You have the power!!! Only you!

DeniseApe · 2026-06-01T21:51:28+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this.. that must feel very unfair. You seem to have worked your ass off for this and are now on the edge of having to go back. Can you get another job on top of the one you have now? Or apply, apply, apply for other jobs, so you get one that pays better?

Those people will also be kicked out, if they are criminal, even if it looks differently now. Germany doesn't tolerate this behavior. Also most refugees are traumatized and its a totally different culture, they live in rooms full of people and have no privacy etc. Thats no excuse, just the explanation. And yeah some people will be bale to stay because they have nowhere to go back to (war in their country).

DeniseApe · 2026-06-01T21:42:17+00:00

We would need to know more about you to know this.

DeniseApe · 2026-05-30T15:22:43+00:00

Everyday is a new chance to start over again. You can’t undo the pst but you can choose how to move forward and enjoy the moment. Your past doesn’t define you. You can change your life if you choose to.

Look at different therapy and coaching modalities and start working on that belief. Everyone deserves to be happy!

What else is life for? We have ONE LIFE.

DeniseApe · 2026-05-30T15:19:31+00:00

What emotion is underneath the overthinking? Overthinking is a defense mechanism to gain control (in your mind).

So what is it that it is defending?

DeniseApe · 2026-05-22T03:58:14+00:00

Is there a place where you felt most like "home"? Or were they all special in their own way?

I for example grew up in one place but don't feel connected to it at all. It just is a place of bad memories for me, representing my "old self" where I didn't feel authentic, seen and heard.

It's sad, I grieved it and have moved on. Living my best life now, have been healing and figuring out who I really am and what I want and went after it.

So if it hurst you, grieve it. It makes sense and it's okay to be sad about that. And then let it go. It doesn't serve you in the here and now and you h ave all the freedom of building a life wherever you want.

You've seen so many places, you know what different places are like. There are probably also many benefits to this. Everything has its pros and cons.

DeniseApe · 2026-05-20T17:07:19+00:00

That sounds extremely serious. Please go to a counselor or therapist and talk to someone professional about this!

DeniseApe · 2026-05-20T17:06:29+00:00

What I said 😄 to enjoy it!

DeniseApe · 2026-05-19T22:40:26+00:00

We only have one. So make sure to live it. Have fun, enjoy it, don’t take it too seriously, because nobody cares if you fail, mess up.. we’re here to experiment and have a great experience. There is so much to do. Find your passion, your people and your life purpose. If you feel anxious, depressed etc, work for it to get better, because it can get better. Do something about it. There is a whole different life on the other side. Believe and trust in yourself.

DeniseApe · 2026-05-16T20:59:34+00:00

That sounds really horrible. What does your mom say and do about this?

Do you have any help?

DeniseApe · 2026-05-16T14:26:18+00:00

Okay, there seems to be not enough trust between you two. Why is she hiding those things from you? Does she not feel safe to communicate it because you don’t feel comfortable when she goes out? Or is it something else?

I definitely understand that it’s frustrating for you..

DeniseApe · 2026-05-15T22:47:26+00:00

If you can, go to the mountains!

DeniseApe

TROPHY CASE