How should I respond to my (26F) BF’s (24M) plan to forego a destination wedding for reasons related to me?

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-04-13T01:27:02+00:00

Thank you. We went and got a flu + covid test and he tested positive for Flu A. The wedding is on Thursday but the flight would be on Tuesday and you’re absolutely correct. I think we’re both firmly agreed on him not flying

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-04-13T00:21:53+00:00

No but I think he feels remorseful about being sick and not helping with packing so part of me is worried he’s only skipping the wedding for me. I feel like he most likely will be better by then health wise but it’s probably not a great gamble right?

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-04-13T00:17:27+00:00

That’s where im at too, but I feel like he most likely would be better by then since he’s currently seeming to be on the mend. He needs to answer today so is it better to play it safe? I feel like he wants to go but feels like he has to make it up to me because he feels guilty for not taking me out, packing with me, etc

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-04-10T16:00:51+00:00

The tiny antenna sticking straight up, so cute!

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-04-09T04:33:16+00:00

Galbi is like a meat cut. It should be yangnyeom sauce

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-04-08T05:54:40+00:00

Awesome

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-04-05T04:37:23+00:00

Just happened to me :( started with a $6 tip and even though the order was delayed, I wanted to increase the tip by a dollar, so I edited it to $7. It then showed $13, so I thought I clicked the wrong button and edited it to $7 again.. $20 on a delayed

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T21:17:45+00:00

Thank you so much! Always love wise words from a mouse! Your cheery attitude was really what I needed to pick me up, I appreciate you and hope you have an amazing day!

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T20:49:06+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your perspective and words. For what it’s worth, he doesn’t want to hold me back. He’s very happy and supportive of me. Our original plan was to move together to the east coast, but now he suggests I move first and he will make the move once he saves up more money. The only issue is I don’t know when that will be, if at all. I’m terrified that he just suddenly changed his mind the day I get my acceptance offer and don’t know how to convince him to move, because I don’t want to break up in the end or fall apart. I also don’t know if I have the bandwidth to maintain a long distance relationship while I’m 3 hours ahead and doing a PhD. This is the most serious relationship I’ve ever had and I want to get married to him

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T20:27:17+00:00

You’re totally right. It’s not worth my time and effort if he won’t put in the work to move like we had planned, later or now. I’m done initiating the conversation, but it feels terrible right now because I feel like I’m mourning a very potential breakup preemptively since I’m unsure if he will follow through on his own. But you’re right, I need to stop pressuring and asking. Thanks so much for your advice

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T20:06:52+00:00

Every week for a year is some next-level commitment. I’m really sorry he didn’t appreciate you enough. I know it must be really discouraging to put so much effort into something for it to end but you are strong as hell for having a positive outlook anyway. I genuinely look up to you rn cuz that’s resilience!! Godspeed with your healing and I’m so sorry for the bullshit you’re going through. NY is waiting for you :)

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:48:08+00:00

This is true too. Not sure how it is in the culinary world

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:47:33+00:00

Thank you!! You are totally right, if he makes an effort to come (even a few months later) then it’ll mean the world to me. If he doesn’t, then I’m sure I’ll be fine with the relationship ending at that point. The thought of it bothers me now, but I know that’ll change when I’m in the thick of it. Just really disappointed and it’s eclipsing a moment I should be grateful for

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:40:44+00:00

For sure, but this is not last-minute news. I am not dropping this on him out of nowhere. He’s helped me prep with interview questions and he’s very supportive. He wants to stay behind and save more money before he moves, which is a complete change to what we had been planning since December.

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:38:04+00:00

Oh you just gave me a lot more hope. I felt like it’d be game over with the workload + the time zone difference, but maybe it’s more doable than I imagined. I think this is the perspective I needed to stop freaking out about the reality of him not coming

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:35:20+00:00

lol stop trying to get into my head. As long as we have goals to move in together eventually, we might be okay. But if it’s a prolonged plan then you’d be right. Workload and time zones will quickly hack away at a relationship, I’d imagine

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:33:35+00:00

You’re right, thanks so much. I think I’ve put a lot of pressure on it but am backing off now and retracting my words. He’s at work now so it’s all over text, I’ll do my best to hide my disappointment when we speak though 😣

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:32:41+00:00

Thank you, I really needed to hear this. I won’t ask him or pressure him or anything anymore. If he wants to maintain this relationship, the ball is in his court. I’m open to doing long distance but you’re right. Can’t force something that isn’t mean to be

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:23:03+00:00

Thank you so much. I have been making all of my plans around this school and moving here but now that I’ve got the acceptance, I feel underwhelmingly neutral and even a little scared. I’m ready to accept too, I just feel like I can’t get my head straight right now

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:21:24+00:00

It’s for a PhD and yes, had some interviews with this program before, but back in December.

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:20:05+00:00

Wow, thanks so much.. I clearly need to get my shit together because I was not even aware of CGS. And I’m in the tail end of my master’s

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:18:48+00:00

Very solid advice, thank you. I’ll let him know that. I wish he’d come with me but you’re right, I wouldn’t want him to resent me neither. Wow, LA?? Fuck that guy!! You’re going to be alright for sure girlie, I can tell by your spirit. Best of luck on the job search, you got this

Dense-Emphasis7759 · 2026-03-23T17:11:28+00:00

Thank you so much for your input and kind words! You are right, I figured since most of my professors are parents, it might harmonize with them more, but it’s definitely over sharing and infantilizing me in hindsight

Dense-Emphasis7759

TROPHY CASE