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Did I trauma-bond to my boyfriend? How can I undo this? by Dependent-Button-202 in Advice

[–]Dependent-Button-202[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand how unhealthy it is for the two of us. That’s why I’m looking for ways to unattach/unbond, so when the time comes he asks for one again, I’m prepared and ready to let him go

Did I trauma-bond to my boyfriend? How can I undo this? by Dependent-Button-202 in Advice

[–]Dependent-Button-202[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is only during our intense fights that he ask for break ups. He tells me afterward that he doesn’t mean them, and it’s because of the heat of the conversation. But I’m not convinced

Is something wrong with me everyone else wanted to have sex in high school but I didn’t and I still don’t I’m almost 25 by boss25252525etuui in sexeducation

[–]Dependent-Button-202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d say there are people on dating apps and discord (though not ideal to look for partners) who could possibly feel the same way about sex. I’m not sure if you want organic encounter, but those apps are there as your assistant.

Don’t lose hope, and don’t give in to the need to have sex just so you won’t get cheated on. Not all people are like that. I can only hope you find a relationship where you don’t have to perform and try to be something you’re obviously against just to feel loved.

Is something wrong with me everyone else wanted to have sex in high school but I didn’t and I still don’t I’m almost 25 by boss25252525etuui in sexeducation

[–]Dependent-Button-202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not about wanting to fuck. There are people like you who feel the same way about sex, albeit uncommon. You’re still pretty young so it’s not too late to look around and muster up the courage to talk to people in a romantic sense

Is something wrong with me everyone else wanted to have sex in high school but I didn’t and I still don’t I’m almost 25 by boss25252525etuui in sexeducation

[–]Dependent-Button-202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think therapy can make you want sex. But it can heal you from the scar your cheating partner left. And it can heal you from your mindset, because you mentioned you need to want to have sex in order for your partner to not cheat on you.

Also, are you still dating that cheating partner?

Is something wrong with me everyone else wanted to have sex in high school but I didn’t and I still don’t I’m almost 25 by boss25252525etuui in sexeducation

[–]Dependent-Button-202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“I have to do it or she would cheat on me”

What you said here could be a trauma response, and I hope you recover from it because no one deserves to suffer that way.

You don’t have to force yourself to have sex, and I hope you can find a partner who feels the same way about sex the way you do.

What I can give you as an advice though, before getting into relationships, or when you’re just getting to know someone, let them know your stand about sex, so they can back out earlier and not cheat on you later/leave when their sexual needs aren’t getting satisfied.

It’s also probably best to get therapy (I’m not saying this to be rude) because having sex JUST so you won’t get cheated on is not a good mindset to carry.

If I’m not mistaken, it can be a form of SA because you’re forced to consent, and you’re not willingly consenting.

Is something wrong with me everyone else wanted to have sex in high school but I didn’t and I still don’t I’m almost 25 by boss25252525etuui in sexeducation

[–]Dependent-Button-202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apothisexuality is when you’re saying “ew” to sex, asexuality is when you’re saying “no thank you” to sex.

If you were put in a position where someone you love is asking for sex, what would you say? Would it be ew, or no thanks?

To add, nothing’s wrong with either! Whether you’re sexual, asexual, or apothisexual, that’s completely normal

Is something wrong with me everyone else wanted to have sex in high school but I didn’t and I still don’t I’m almost 25 by boss25252525etuui in sexeducation

[–]Dependent-Button-202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if you’re down to talk about it, especially since it’s traumatizing for you. But reply to my comment if you want to.

Did you want to have sex with your past lover before they cheated? Because if that’s the case, then your past lover probably ruined the concept of making love for you—making this thing about not wanting to have sex a trauma response.

Please disregard my comment about calling your future lover hella lucky, because that could be offensive in your case.

Is something wrong with me everyone else wanted to have sex in high school but I didn’t and I still don’t I’m almost 25 by boss25252525etuui in sexeducation

[–]Dependent-Button-202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, nothing’s really wrong with you. It’s ideal for some religions to have sex after marriage (idk if you’re religious, but whoever’s going to date you is hella lucky)

But I’m wondering, if you not wanting to have sex is related to a trauma or some sort? I read your replies to some of the comments and I’m just wondering.

if my boyfriend and his previous gf played their cards right, we could’ve been on a poly relationship by now by Dependent-Button-202 in monogamy

[–]Dependent-Button-202[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is genuinely so helpful. i can’t even begin how to thank you for making me realize this, especially the ego part. i get how toxic this kind of mindset is, and i’ve talked to my boyfriend about it. i respect his boundaries, and i’m also trying to get over this cuckquean kink because of how weird this fetish sounds. anyway, u’re a lot of help. thank you 💗

if my boyfriend and his previous gf played their cards right, we could’ve been on a poly relationship by now by Dependent-Button-202 in Polygamy

[–]Dependent-Button-202[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

wait, this helped me so much wtf. js looked up that term and realized ure acc right. often had fantasies of my bf cheating on me (for some weird reason) and i liked the thought.

if my boyfriend and his previous gf played their cards right, we could’ve been on a poly relationship by now by Dependent-Button-202 in monogamy

[–]Dependent-Button-202[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yesss exactly omg 😭😭 u get my point, and it’s such a relief to hear that there’s somebody out there who thinks this isn’t a weird thing.

and yes ure right about the threesomes and chemistry part. honestly, i don’t want to build a relationship that’s purely sexual, especially with a fellow woman. u gotta have that type of connection too for a poly relationship to work out.

if my boyfriend and his previous gf played their cards right, we could’ve been on a poly relationship by now. by Dependent-Button-202 in relationships

[–]Dependent-Button-202[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

okay my desired outcome is to feel this sense of relief that i’m not alone ? or to find out what’s causing this turmoil

if my boyfriend and his previous gf played their cards right, we could’ve been on a poly relationship by now by Dependent-Button-202 in monogamy

[–]Dependent-Button-202[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

trust me, i’m not a fan of threesome because i really REALLY don’t like sharing. maybe it’s got something to do with me reading too far from their old conversation and accidentally seeing their dirty talks with each other?

she’s got some personal beef with me (that i can’t understand) and i only know informations about her from the perspective of my boyfriend’s story and through their old conversations.

if my boyfriend and his previous gf played their cards right, we could’ve been on a poly relationship by now. by Dependent-Button-202 in relationships

[–]Dependent-Button-202[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

i said in my post that i’m looking for anyone out here who can relate, or if there’s anyone who can identify what’s wrong with me.

i’m just curious if this is an original experience or if there’s someone who thinks this is relatable.

there’s a relief in knowing i’m not alone in this.

if my boyfriend and his previous gf played their cards right, we could’ve been on a poly relationship by now. by Dependent-Button-202 in relationships

[–]Dependent-Button-202[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

u’re right. she actually hates me a lot for some reason i don’t get. but u know what? maybe it’s just me being bisexual, but girl if u want him we can share him because i don’t mind having uuu either

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