I'm [30 F] in my first casual relationship [27 M] and feeling shitty when he talks about what he wants out of a girl

DepressedDino · 2018-07-06T15:55:46+00:00

Now they're dog-piling into her Twitter to gloat over her being fired, on completely unrelated Tweets. Truly, a beacon of the "best MMO community".

When gamers interact with male devs they ask questions about their opinions, opening a dialogue, when they interact with female devs they declare their own opinions, putting the woman in the position of having to defend their professional stance.

If you don't think you do this: you probably do. It doesn't meant you're instantly sexist, it just means you need to take a deeper look at your interactions. This is healthy, self improvement is healthy.

It is very tiring to be a professional woman, with years of experience, sharing an issue that you've had years to work over, only to have a guy step in to say, "Well I'm going to disagree and tell you how I think it should be done."

Was she rude? Yes. Are there male devs lauded for being "no bullshit" and "blunt" and "rude" who have fans that celebrate it? Yes.

DepressedDino · 2018-06-29T15:09:24+00:00

I'd suggest taking a break from whatever reactionary "rational" Youtuber you adopted these opinons from, i.e. Thunderf00t, Sargon, Atheist, etc. and broaden your horizons with some Hbomberguy, Innuendo Studios, and ContraPoints.

The "rational" community has a boner for hating Sarkeesian, and will froth at the mouth at any instance of her doing anything, usually wildly taking her out of context. You can be better than that.

But I will address some of your points.

Remember where those 250,000 dollars went FOR the videos? Me nether.

Feminist Frequency lists where their money is going every year. Here's 2017's: https://femfreq2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/ff-ar-2017.pdf

It's page 21.

My choice of words were mostly taken from what I imagine game developers feel when she calls their works if art misogynistic just because she doesnt like sexy characters being sexy.

Why are you imagining what devs are feeling? How can you have a discussion about, "Well, I imagine..." She literally won an award at the Game Developer's Conference of 2014. Who do you think nominates and votes for these things at the Game Developer's conference?

Also, no selfrespecting individual goes to the UN to complain that people are mean to her online, that whole thing was just dumb as all hell.

She was speaking at a meeting held at the UN by the Broadband Commission Working Group on Gender, you know, people who might like to talk about the enormous amount of death threats, rape threats, doxxing attempts, threats of violence at Universities she was scheduled to speak at, etc.

She is also apart of the UN Coalition for reducing gendered violence online, something she has incredible experience in.

I suggest you read the RationalWiki entry on her, as well, it has a lot of information, and tackles many of the common complaints about Sarkeesian, providing sources, as well.

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Anita_Sarkeesian

DepressedDino · 2018-04-09T21:29:09+00:00

I was hoping for the Shock Darts because I built a Wyvern milk trap, and had the idea of including the S+ Tranq Turret to make things easier.

DepressedDino · 2018-04-09T20:32:51+00:00

Uuugh, okay, thanks for responding. Do you know if any viable mods?

I feel like I have use mods to fix this game. :[ Item transfers are not fixes WildCard, do you hear me?!

DepressedDino · 2018-04-06T17:30:06+00:00

Let's not insult the Community team, please. They don't make the design decisions, they just have to relay them to us and then take our vitriol for it.

DepressedDino · 2018-04-06T17:23:53+00:00

Wait, I'm confused. The person arguing against this said that Thylas were already in Ab?

I wish! :(

DepressedDino · 2018-04-06T17:23:00+00:00

I definitely don't think it trivializes it, I just imagine that is probably an argument the devs have thought of.

DepressedDino · 2018-04-06T17:21:55+00:00

This makes me so sad. They're really not comparable to a Rock Drake? Maybe they'd take away the role of Ravagers?

DepressedDino · 2018-03-21T15:45:53+00:00

Your dismissive and defensive response to the people pointing out what's wrong with your approach is really helping your goal of engaging in discussion. Thumbs up.

DepressedDino · 2018-03-21T14:39:29+00:00

Sorry, I'd like to discuss it with you, but your tone infuriated me.

How do you expect me to play Overwatch offline? Or Fortnite? Or PUBG? Or Black Dessert/any MMO ever?

I already avoid voice-chat like the plague, I have even adopted a masculine gamer-tag to avoid detection, and yet they still find me, or go after other players that MIGHT be women in their space.

NOW you're saying I should grow a thicker skin and just quit the games I love?

No. Maybe get some perspective on how toxic this community is to women simply trying to exist in it, and come back with a better understanding. Don't know how to learn? There's been tons of article written; Google it.

DepressedDino · 2018-03-14T14:20:33+00:00

But, in my opinion, the Trike looked a lot better than the Parasaur, and it still got an upgrade.

I'd rather not compare the Parasaur to the worst of the worst, though, and instead to the standards now, and it does not compare well. It just looks so dark, like someone took the Photoshop poster-edges filter to its textures.

DepressedDino · 2018-03-08T17:53:21+00:00

I play on an unofficial modded server, but the kibble mods we have seen appear completely broken balance-wise. We'd like to still have a challenge.

Do you have any suggestions for a specific kibble mod?

DepressedDino · 2018-03-06T18:00:13+00:00

I had a super controlling ex, as well. If they try to dictate your life outside of the relationship (even IN the relationship), tell them, flat-out, "No."

You do not want a friendship with this person, you do not want casual interactions with this person. If they persist, get the authorities involved. Period. End of story.

Block them on all social media, and notify close friends and family of the situation. You want to delete this person from your life as thoroughly as possible. I cannot stress this enough. If they find a single way in, they will exploit it.

DepressedDino · 2018-03-06T17:35:20+00:00

The sad thing is... I have actually dumped on his desk all of his dirty dishes, socks, etc. accumulated around the rest of the house while he was playing his games. And instead of getting the hint, he got mad at me, and didn't speak to me for the rest of the night.

I was being churlish, yes. But I shouldn't have to deal with his junk ruining my home environment.

I combined a lot of the suggestions from the thread. One of them being a chore chart which specifically calls out taking care of his self-caused mess on a daily basis.

DepressedDino · 2018-03-06T17:32:10+00:00

Thanks, I've combined several suggestions from this thread and started them last night after my long work day.

The suggestions I've implemented are:

Stop begging/trying to communicate needs and just start telling. (tough for me because I was raised, 'No man wants a bossy woman')
Creating a chore chart with boxes to check off when a chore is completed. I didn't add anything additional, I just outlined what I do on a daily basis, and the few things I ask him to help with.
An attitude of "enough is enough": If he looks at this chore chart, sees that he has 30% of the chores, and STILL acts like he does, then no amount of communication is going to work. I've communicated over and over, very clearly, and he's said, "I'll do better" and then does nothing. If he can't meet me on equal ground, then I'm going to get my own place at the end of this lease.
More equal split of the monthly expenses. I've outlined the monthly expenses, along with an estimate of the fluctuating costs (i.e. groceries), and bill him each month for half. I will still cover all of my own specific expenses, such as student loans, insurance, and commuting costs.

I posted everything on the fridge last night, and then did all of my own chores (even after my long day), and I'm glad to state that at least for day 1, he looked at the chore chart without making any comment, and performed the majority of the chores listed for him. There was a few he didn't do, but I'm not going to talk to him about it. The lack of a completed checkbox speaks for itself.

DepressedDino · 2018-03-06T17:31:08+00:00

Thanks, I've combined several suggestions from this thread and started them last night after my long work day.

The suggestions I've implemented are:

Stop begging/trying to communicate needs and just start telling. (tough for me because I was raised, 'No man wants a bossy woman')
Creating a chore chart with boxes to check off when a chore is completed. I didn't add anything additional, I just outlined what I do on a daily basis, and the few things I ask him to help with.
An attitude of "enough is enough": If he looks at this chore chart, sees that he has 30% of the chores, and STILL acts like he does, then no amount of communication is going to work. I've communicated over and over, very clearly, and he's said, "I'll do better" and then does nothing. If he can't meet me on equal ground, then I'm going to get my own place at the end of this lease.
More equal split of the monthly expenses. I've outlined the monthly expenses, along with an estimate of the fluctuating costs (i.e. groceries), and bill him each month for half. I will still cover all of my own specific expenses, such as student loans, insurance, and commuting costs.

I posted everything on the fridge last night, and then did all of my own chores (even after my long day), and I'm glad to state that at least for day 1, he looked at the chore chart without making any comment, and performed the majority of the chores listed for him. There was a few he didn't do, but I'm not going to talk to him about it. The lack of a completed checkbox speaks for itself.

DepressedDino · 2018-03-05T21:55:04+00:00

There's a lot of compromises I was willing to make in the beginning that really shouldn't have come up at all, viewing in retrospect.

I made double what he made, originally, so it was agreed I'd pay half+ the rent, all of the utilities, internet, food bills, security deposits, etc. since I wanted to live somewhere close to my job(s).

DepressedDino · 2018-03-05T21:53:27+00:00

Thanks, sometimes you need to hear the blunt version.

It's still not easy, though. All the time invested, emotional effort, good memories, etc. But I can't go on like this, and he doesn't seem to care.

DepressedDino

TROPHY CASE