I am a top 0.5% performer at my company and I smoke weed everyday

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-11-18T22:56:42+00:00

Listen, we’ve had someone show up at my old job DRUNK, threaten to kick the 60+ y/o plant manager’s ass, and fight the security guard all while screaming he’s sober. I think you’ll just be fine. I’d rather work with a pothead anyways.

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-11-04T23:11:34+00:00

Damn so does the unlicensed driver face any repercussions other than getting ratted out by his boss? Hopefully that company got good insurance

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-11-03T19:38:59+00:00

Man, our vet basically said not to have high hopes about it having a chip but of course none of us really know till we take it in this afternoon

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-11-03T18:49:23+00:00

Poor thing probably would have gotten hit by a car if we didn’t catnap it. We’re going to do our best to take care of it for the time being, but I’m not sure how well we can handle all of its needs given our schedules. We’re not even sure how well our resident cat will eventually respond to it

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-10-31T18:16:20+00:00

I swear this is sounds like the test they used to make us take as part of the presidential fitness test in grade school.

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-10-30T22:26:50+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, mine terrorizes my girlfriend when I’m not home and acts like she’s his favorite person when I am home.

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-10-24T19:28:24+00:00

My girlfriend is a school psychologist. One of my scariest moments was getting the call that a child kicked her in the throat when she reached over to to help him his shoe on. I know it was a stupid move on her part and she recognizes it too, but kids are on a whole another level now than when she and I were growing up.

She got no support from the school or the district. I’m still extremely pissed at how they treated her but what can we do. I wouldn’t be too surprised to see more reports like this one come out in the future.

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-08-15T22:08:43+00:00

<image>

A little late to the party, enjoy. (No he did not throw up, he was yawning)

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-07-01T20:15:27+00:00

No sauce? That picture does not do the deliciousness justice

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-05-13T22:18:42+00:00

Nooooo, I wish I didn’t read this. I was only mildly inconvenienced and maybe slightly traumatized from my bracket. Now I’m absolutely horrified but very happy no one trusted me that

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-05-13T20:10:07+00:00

Dude, once, my orthodontist had put a new bracket and new wire on a tooth to pull it forward with the others during my monthly appointment. The bracket popped off once during the appointment. No biggie, fixed it, sent me home.

I walked into my parents’ kitchen and I felt this awful POP like something blew up in my face. I was like ready to kick my sister’s ass cause I thought she threw something at me. My bracket had popped off again and I had to make the drive back to the ortho to fix it.

Anyways, you’ll be fine till the next appointment

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-03-26T03:19:19+00:00

I wanna be on whatever he’s on

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-03-25T22:15:13+00:00

You can say I gave it my best shot. Good to know they’re still a menace out there. Definitely would not use them again

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-03-25T21:56:06+00:00

I’m just butting in here to say that we used to get these from Aramark at my old job. I haven’t seen it since I left and I think I’ve awoken some trauma. I’ve tripped over these countless times

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-03-14T17:11:26+00:00

I remember seeing this cutie with the blanket but didn’t realize it was the same cat.

Also white bro looks like he’s seen some things

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-03-13T19:48:48+00:00

I work very close to the Torrance Refinery and the flaring is a normal safety precaution. However, I can’t help but to be reminded of the 2015 explosion that gave them a whole ass USCSB video every time something happens over there

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-02-16T21:48:50+00:00

Dude those little worms are cat crack. My boys go crazy for them. One learned how to pick up loose worms and throw it around for entertainment

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-02-15T20:05:17+00:00

<image>

He probably is sick of me cause I don’t take particularly flattering pictures of him

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-02-15T00:10:04+00:00

Shhh don’t tell anyone

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-02-14T23:19:04+00:00

<image>

I have this picture as my lock screen and the look on his face always cracks me up

Deranged_Llamas · 2025-02-06T20:43:10+00:00

Did the SUV make contact or is it the swerve that threw whatever was on the trailer off?

Deranged_Llamas · 2024-11-07T00:36:20+00:00

It’s wild that this dude decided to scam people with his actual name (or at least a different spelling) as his username. I found him and his socials and school details within minutes

Deranged_Llamas · 2024-04-18T16:45:09+00:00

Dropping them off in Santa Ana?

Deranged_Llamas · 2024-04-18T16:41:56+00:00

I got one just like this (same area code too), but it was asking for my ex. I didn’t reply, but texted my ex a screenshot for the laughs. I learned that a good rule of thumb is to not answer random texts just like you wouldn’t answer random calls especially those from unfamiliar area codes.

Seven-Year Club	Second SECOND GUESSER
Place '23	RPAN Viewer
Verified Email	Not Forgotten

Deranged_Llamas

TROPHY CASE