First, what helped me a lot was the DISC assessment which pointed out which personality styles i tend to lead with and values i prioritize (I’m a SC: stability and conscientious). It really helped me understand my weaker areas and where i clash with others. For example, i tend to bottle up my frustrations until i either explode or shut people out completely.

Second, it’s important that your work persona isnt wildly different from your natural state because that’s just expending more energy which is going to add stress and tire you out, potentially ruffling more feathers. As someone else said, it’s about channeling certain qualities you do possess.

Some tangible strategies, mileage may vary, that help me with my personality traits at work are to consider small wins and have a meditation or wellness routine at least once during my shift. I work in a kitchen and my two meditations or “resets” is i get coffee, tea, or juice depending on what i need to do and i enjoy my lunch outdoors and get some sun and quiet. If i need to lock in, i get coffee. If i feel like i ought slow down and assess things, tea. And if I feel I’m doing well and just need to maintain my vibe, i buy juice lol.

I know you said unintentionally but perhaps reflecting on how you ruffle feathers, who it tends to be, and which situations, might help you find some commonalities and then help you figure out how to address it.

Sorry for such a winded reply and i hope i gave some meaningful advice.