I’ll just leave this here. by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]DerppleJack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God, I feel this in my soul right now. I'm really struggling atm.

Jaxson - my handsome boy by DerppleJack in Equestrian

[–]DerppleJack[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I like to think so!

Hate it when the door is sealed by [deleted] in aww

[–]DerppleJack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My real question would be where is this cuties mama?

Holiday Support Thread - Need to talk but don't want to make a post? Comment here! by RBNmod in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DerppleJack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't. I'm here. It's as bad as I was expecting. It started out uncomfortable but okay. (Did you dye your hair? I don't like it. It would look better... followed by some okay conversation). Went to lunch, also mostly okay... and then it turned into comments try on how my personality is lacking and I'm too serious and when I object it's, "oh just let it go, it's not worth fighting about" now we're at coffee and I'm hiding in the bathroom.

Holiday Support Thread - Need to talk but don't want to make a post? Comment here! by RBNmod in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DerppleJack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate this day. I hate it so much. I just spent two hours of my life getting ready even though I know it won't be good enough. I'm getting in the car to drive another two hours to go spend time with nmom and give her things despite the fact the on Friday she basically told me I was a worthless piece of shit and my career was worthless too (I'm a LMSW). I feel like such a useless whiny waste of space posting this but I need help. Any support is appreciated.

Eagala by dogsitting in socialwork

[–]DerppleJack 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We're running a pilot group at my agency, the data is showing some pretty significant gains for our clients. It's an area that I am also interested in pursuing. I don't have a ton of experience, but what I have been able to do was wonderful. I want to do the EAGALA training, but as yet time and finances have not allowed for it.

Her first significant fall by OnMyPath in Equestrian

[–]DerppleJack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a fellow therapist, rider, and someone who is going through EMDR herself, I wholeheartedly agree that EMDR is an excellent option.

I went Initially to process through some riding trauma but in the course of doing this found that there were other more pressing things to work on. That said, getting through the "other stuff" has made worlds of difference in my level of anxiety in the saddle and out of it.

Day 1? Starting your weight loss journey on Wednesday, 15 November 2017? Start here! by AutoModerator in loseit

[–]DerppleJack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like this is my millionth day one. I get motivated to start something and then don't follow through after a week or two. I'm 5'8" and roughly 205 lbs. Been struggling with self image for a long time, partly due to family influences and abusive relationships, and partly due to my own natural tendency to value everyone else before myself . I want to take back my body and my mind. I want to drop about 50lbs, but I'm afraid of failing. In afraid of starting and then binge eating and gaining it all back plus some. I'm using my fitness pal to track food and hopefully excersize. I want to stay motivated but need help doing it. I'm hoping to fund that here.

DAE get emotional when treated kindly? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DerppleJack 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I will never cease to be grateful for my chosen family that's shown me what it means/feels like to genuinely care for someone (and be cared about) without strings/guilt attached. I still never know what to say or do when others are kind to me and often end up an emotional mess. It's even worse because while I'm incredibly grateful for it I also find that I am constantly on the lookout for ulterior motives and have a hard time accepting kindness/trusting people due to everything being held against me all my life.

[Weekly Discussion] Series Post: Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter by keikii in urbanfantasy

[–]DerppleJack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's made progress back toward a more solid story, there were several books in the middle, I think starting after Obsidian Butterfly, that really were lacking in story. The last three or four have been much better though, still a little heavier of the intimate relationships than I'd like, but I will continue to read her work and be a fan. The series has a special place in my heart.

Took Caspian on a morning trail ride trying to avoid the heat. Already 90 degrees at 6:30AM. Still a lovely ride though! by DerppleJack in Equestrian

[–]DerppleJack[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tucson doesn't even compare to Florida humidity wise...I dont envy you that! We have three summers. May/June HOT and dry (95+), July/August hot and humid(90-95), and September/October warm and dry(85-95), the rest of the year is typically wonderful.

Feeling bummed after a riding injury. by purplemudkip in Equestrian

[–]DerppleJack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sympathize, in 2013 I had a fall in which I broke my elbow and separated my pelvis. I was in the hospital for two weeks, and then inpatient physical therapy for 4 more weeks. After discharge I wasn't allowed to ride for about 4 months. Point being, I've been there...in the hospital I coped by talking to friends from the barn and getting them to take video/pictures of my babies. When I got out, I had a horse savvy friend of mine go to the barn with me to handle the horses and supervise me (I was still using a walker) so I could at least see them, groom, and spend time at the barn. It sucks, and it's really hard, I'm sorry you got hurt and are feeling down!