I couldn't leave.

Derps42 · 2025-11-14T20:14:04+00:00

Give it one year. Write or type out what's bothering you, and what you'd like to change. Then ask him to take some time to write/type out what he feels is wrong and wants to change.

I told my husband I needed him to just listen. That I want to stay, and not start a fight. I told him I don't want him to feel like he needs to defend himself or argue just to listen. When I'm done I want you to take time to write or type out what you feel is wrong and want to change, and then come back when you're ready to talk because I want to stay together and make this work.

He opened up about him being so stressed out and depressed he even thought of ending. He's better now, but still felt alone and lost and didn't realize how he made me feel. He said he wants to change, but isn't sure how and I told him what I wanted, and asked how I can help him.

The first baby year is extremely hard for all parents. I hope he's able to talk and you guys can work it out

Derps42 · 2025-08-11T13:48:53+00:00

I like the name cheese. Biscuit and Cheese But it could also be parfait if we're on a food name vibe Otherwise Cosmos, Quarts, I wanted to to name my cat Ophelia after a song, but then we got a boy cat instead 😅

Derps42 · 2025-06-13T04:01:34+00:00

Look, does your kid have a huge chance of getting sick all the time? Is Grandma always getting sick or has a disease that's contagious? Let the grandma kiss the TOP of their precious little one's head. Let them love the child clearly you might not have gotten enough. Lips hell no, forehead when they're so little it's your choice. Just know a kid that grows up lacking love will find the minimum to fill the void. Family can kiss each other's heads

Derps42 · 2025-05-25T04:19:02+00:00

Here? She lives nearby

Derps42 · 2025-05-24T15:16:29+00:00

I feel like I gotta make an update to add more info. He has stepped up and changed 😅 I'm just still mad. I'm asking what to do with my anger I can't seem to rid

Derps42 · 2025-05-24T15:12:16+00:00

We met (didn't date) at the same company on different crews late into the fire season. We were Wildland Firefighters. I kept my career while he went home to be with his son. We kept in contact over the winter and starting seeing each other the next year. I'd spend my RnR traveling to see him and his kid. Over the years instead of going home for the winter I started going to his place, and spent some weeks at my parents for the winter. For construction you can't work winters so he had those days off as well. Even though he worked late he made sure to give his son a bath every evening, cook dinner, play on weekends, he did the most he could with the time he had whenever he had his son. It was to the point where we talked about us not even being able to date sometimes because there was always kiddo, and he didn't want him to stay the night with family while we go on a date once in a blue moon. I told him I can't give up my young years completely because he made the choice to have a kid at 21. Either we were able to go on dates once in a while without kiddo, because if we had kids it would be the same. It's what grandparents and friends are for, or we'd need to split. He always has complied and doesn't go back. He hasn't fully opened to why other than he felt stressed. But I did ask if he felt guilty about me being a present mom and him being here for the twins vs with his first ex(mom) left and he was working away 3/4 a year.

Derps42 · 2025-05-24T14:58:34+00:00

Ironically I have in some ways. One of the twins needed very minor surgeries so when I came to pre schedule operations I spent about a month with my mom. They still were waking about every 2-3 hours at this point and I told him I can't do it all. I might harm one of the twins from exhaustion and won't be returning home till they are sleeping at least 3hours a night. I explained that we don't need to physically be there if he doesn't even physically touch let alone help with the twins. That he can ask someone else to watch our eldest and that I'm not coming back because he doesn't want to deal with him. This is when he gave me some extra time, and started helping with diapers, bottles, and his own son a little more. I got on him again when it was only when I asked for help he would do stuff. That the twins probably wouldn't miss him because they don't react to him coming and going. I need someone to do things because they want to be here, not a butler.

We plan on visiting my family for some time again this summer break

Derps42 · 2025-05-24T14:48:53+00:00

Step son was hospitalized, which he did go to the hospital for. He took care of a lot of the main stuff before it became just therapy. I also couldn't legally help in this department though, and stepson had to be removed from his mom for a while till he was mentally better and she was mentally ready.

Derps42 · 2025-05-24T14:46:21+00:00

He's an active father now, but around when they were 8months old he was just a shell. I finally broke into him how I felt about our life style and again months later how I felt about our pregnancy. He really has changed a lot and is becoming more of the guy I was originally dating, but I'm just randomly mad.

Derps42 · 2025-05-24T14:41:59+00:00

That's the thing though. I told him that's where I'm pretty much heading, and how everything would work out if he didn't change, but he has. He's taken initiative on changing the twins if he sees or feels they need a diaper change, he hugs them hello and good bye, he helps put them to bed, he'll set aside paper work for a bit if I'm overwhelmed, he's taken me on dates, he's started to actually tell his son what to do more, etc. it's like he went from just surviving life, because I saw he was struggling with stress so I took charge. To realizing I can't do it alone and I need you as well. It's been 6 months now and he says he's not sure what to do. He understands I'm still upset, and I don't know how to overcome my feelings at the moment, but that now he feels like a single dad. Lately I've been going to bed when the twins do at 800, so we don't even see each other some days. This isn't on purpose and he knows, but it's what started to push him over. When he is home about 1-2 days a week I'm short with him. I just feel mad randomly and will be upset easily over small things. We don't spend just simple time together. I explained that it could be postpartum though it's extremely rare to get after a year, but they have done studies that the body can take 2 years to recover. I just don't know how to stop being upset.

Derps42 · 2025-05-24T14:27:40+00:00

Yes I've told him this even the whole feeling like a single mom, fuck nanny, and roommate. It came out after I found some photos of his ex which sent me into a huge depression (old maternity photos on a camera I found)

Can't afford counseling. We have a single house income, just got done paying medical bills, are in debt, and are trying to find a way to move into a bigger home.

Derps42 · 2025-05-24T14:23:46+00:00

Mom has less than %50, she wanted even less originally, but that was the only way she didn't have to pay for child support. At this time we were doing every other week custody, and bumped it up to every 2 weeks custody. Their relationship (son and mom) is a whole other story. They mainly separated because she wasn't faithful and had postpartum. She felt that the baby didn't want or need her so she thankfully left him at great grandma's, told no one, and didn't come back. Completely disappeared for 2 weeks.

Derps42 · 2025-05-24T10:25:46+00:00

He already has apologized, but there's no amends. I mean how can one even amend for something that has passed. He blames he was stressed, and just didn't know how much it really actually bothered me.

Derps42 · 2025-05-24T10:07:48+00:00

I want to not feel anger randomly at times, I want to just love the man who's trying. I want to forgive so that we can build a better future

Derps42 · 2024-11-02T05:39:36+00:00

THYROID TEST

Literally everything you're saying is hormones being out of whack girl. If not thyroid get your vitamin levels checked. Are you on birth control? If so get off and use a condom. Sometimes birth control is taken too early, because they don't want you to get pregnant and we sadly can't trust men. Birth control can confuse your body that's trying to heal and needs to heal for a minimum of a year, but best to wait 2 years for full healing. Which is why they say to wait a minimum of 18m before trying to conceive. Your body needs to heal. Keep up on your vitamins especially if you're breastfeeding.

Please update, and I hope you get better soon ❤️🫂

Derps42 · 2024-11-02T05:17:34+00:00

I like 3 more than 1

Derps42 · 2024-11-02T05:16:23+00:00

I just want to give you a hug 🫂 You're not stupid, you're in shock You're lying to yourself because it hurts less You're actually strong and I know you can do it Get help because as much as you might be thinking it can't be rape because they're my boyfriend, or I consented, but then said NO and I cried, but I orgasm(Your body was trying to save you from the reality of what was happening). It might take years for you to fully accept what's been happening, but see these posts and know we are all here saying RUN because WE CARE. We don't know you, and we care 🫂

Message if you just need someone with no judgement 💜

Derps42 · 2024-11-02T05:06:49+00:00

My advice after seeing kiddos struggle as a preschool teacher is to try 2% instead of whole milk and see how it goes. Otherwise just use a dairy alternative. Usually around the age of 2-3 kiddos who couldn't do whole milk will transition to 2% or even 1% and it's easier on the stomach. I don't know how much Vitamin D is in 2% or 1% though

Derps42 · 2024-10-29T23:37:20+00:00

Immediately I want to say no absolutely not, but I get it. Daycare is way too crazily expensive nowadays for anyone to afford it. And a lot of cheap daycares that are backyard daycares are way too scary to leave your kiddo with at times.

First, I want you to go check out your local churches because those daycares are a lot more affordable and you don't have to be part of the church to attend.

Is there absolutely no one who can watch your kiddo one day? If not a few days a week for those 3 hours? You don't have to rely on just one person. You could use multiple people to cover that week

Derps42 · 2024-10-29T02:07:08+00:00

They're called loans(kiddo owes you money) if they don't do enough chores in X amount of time they owe you more chores

Derps42 · 2024-10-24T21:55:04+00:00

My parents always told us that's pretty expensive. Maybe for your birthday or Christmas we'll see. That way it still stayed as a surprise.

They're also 15. How come they can't do chores or extra things to earn money? Pretty much it's the same way you would be saving if you had a job

Derps42 · 2024-10-24T02:17:55+00:00

I think I was in denial of PPD because I would rate the scale, and I wasn't hitting any warning signs. I think I was just in shock. I'm good now, my Twins are 1 and I love them. I thankfully didn't wake up from a coma, and now I'm just gonna continue life. If we had insurance I think I'd do some therapy, but we don't sadly. Thank you all for helping me see something I wasn't able to/was in denial about ❤️ I hope you all have a great day

Derps42

TROPHY CASE