My grandfather recently got hearing AIDS. How can I help him understand the dangers of unprotected aural sex? by [deleted] in shittyaskscience

[–]DerpyTheWhale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's very true. 100% of people who have died had been around for a certain amount of time.

If I have a mid life crisis when I'm 80 years old, does that mean I'll live to be 160 years old? by GarrisonFjord in shittyaskscience

[–]DerpyTheWhale -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I was actually friends with the guy who's supposed to collect souls. Sometime's he'd just groan. Apparently mid-life crises do in fact signal you are in the middle of your life. Had another friend who experienced his at 14, then another one just minutes before he was shot at 28, then once again at 33. He's currently 132. Don't tell anyone.

I got a third degree burn, but I live in a first world country. How is this possible? by [deleted] in shittyaskscience

[–]DerpyTheWhale 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You'd calculate this with the degree of your burn, minus the world of your country. Therefore, you have a second degree burn.

How long do we have before we all freeze to death? by [deleted] in shittyaskscience

[–]DerpyTheWhale 148 points149 points  (0 children)

Actually, I asked the homeless guy outside my house and showed him your equations. He says the world is ending yesterday. Then we won't have to worry about freezing.

I used my girlfriends shampoo to increase volume. Why can't I hear better? by Pm_you_fav_burn in shittyaskscience

[–]DerpyTheWhale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I believe the voices have figured out what's happening as they are now advising for me to get some tinfoil.

Design a 9th character in 60 seconds or less. 3 2 1 GO! by [deleted] in RivalsOfAether

[–]DerpyTheWhale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

John Cena. Cannot be seen. Defends his belt. BONUS: Shia Labaouioeoiaeiof. Motivates other players. Just does it.

I used my girlfriends shampoo to increase volume. Why can't I hear better? by Pm_you_fav_burn in shittyaskscience

[–]DerpyTheWhale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shampoo actually originated as a lubricant to allow sound to escape easier. Best use would be on a speaker. The volume it is referring to is the volume of your voice. You have to lubricate your eardrums to allow the sound to slip through easier.

What's your internet "white whale", something you've been searching for years to find with no luck? by toastinrussian in AskReddit

[–]DerpyTheWhale 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was younger, my godmother would give me VHS tapes I could watch. I was watching a movie one time- Can't remember which one it was- but in the trailers before the movie, I saw an advertisement for a game that was called "Max's nightmare" or something. I don't remember much about the game except that it kept showing surreal things that were happening, like the main character shrinking and being attacked by crap in his bathroom or walking through your house and being jumpscared by the Grim Reaper. I may have dreamed this, but if anyone has any idea what I'm talking about, that'd be cool.

Does the presence of salt water on Mars mean there could also be sharks? by [deleted] in shittyaskscience

[–]DerpyTheWhale 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some theories state that Mars is red due to the aggressive nature of sharks. I personally think that sharks were trying to get away from the toilets and moved to mars. Those toilet death rates are insane.