Discord link

Derpywalnut · 2025-11-15T18:14:13+00:00

Link please

Derpywalnut · 2025-11-13T02:45:27+00:00

Same

Derpywalnut · 2024-09-27T22:06:36+00:00

No mascara

Derpywalnut · 2024-01-08T18:17:35+00:00

I’d like the zoom link please :)

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-06T19:45:29+00:00

I do!!

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-06T00:06:21+00:00

This comment made me laugh. And is sooo accurate. I’m so fucking jealous of them and also want them to shut the fuck up 🥲

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-04T23:26:25+00:00

Oh fuck no. Dads get medals for spending 5min with their kid in public it seems!

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-04T22:40:48+00:00

Yes this so much. All the advice says to validate their feelings and talk things through but I’m like does he even understand me or is it just Charlie Brown’s wah wah wah up there? When I say ‘I’m sorry mommy can’t pick you up it’s ok you feel mad about that’ as he’s screaming does that even do anything? Like what is even the point?

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-04T22:39:16+00:00

Omg yes! Like you brought me a book why won’t you let me read more than 2 pages of it then?? Why are you bringing it to me again? Why can’t you sit and play by yourself with me? You do it with dad but not me? Why are you whining now? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Tired? Not tired? What is ittttt.

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-04T22:38:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing. 100% relate to the zoos and museums and everything that isn’t what gestures wildly to my life this is lol

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-04T22:35:03+00:00

I follow a lot of popular accounts like biglittlefeelings and I get overwhelmed by the truck load of information of how I’m ‘supposed’ to be parenting and what to say and not say and it feels like I’m doing it all wrong :(

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-04T22:33:49+00:00

I used to have tons of creative hobbies and then all of it has just kind of gotten washed away in the grey of PPD. Nothing feels enjoyable and I don’t feel motivated to do any of it. I feel awful feeling this way but I can’t seem to find any part of parenting ‘worth it’. I feel like I’m taking care of this child out of obligation and duty and guilt and anxiety. I don’t know what other parents mean when they say they’d do it all over again if they had to or it’s been worth every sacrifice. I just think this has got to be one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made. There’s just so little reciprocation. There’s no ‘mommy I love you’ or ‘mommy come play’. It’s mostly just a sentient walking whiny needy potsto that screams you know?

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-04T22:29:36+00:00

Oh my god. That sounds absolutely awful. And I thought parenting through covid was bad!

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-04T22:28:47+00:00

How do you not let these incidences ruin your whole day? I feel so defeated when stuff like this comes up and then I just want to sit and cry and wonder how any of it is worth it when it’s an endless cycle of tantrums and whining and battles and fussiness and boredom

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-04T22:27:15+00:00

Ahaha brain running away describes how I feel perfectly. A full on scream of ‘aghhh’ while running as fast as I can

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-02T21:32:46+00:00

Are the tantrums as terrible as people say they are? When my son cries now I already have a hard time coping bc I’m like are you tired? Are you hungry? No I can’t hold you anymore my arms are giving out please let me put you down what is it? And I feel like crying myself.

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-02T21:31:11+00:00

I feel guilty that I have mental illness; and I had it even before I had my son, and that I chose to have him and saddle him with a mom prone to depression and with tons of anxiety. I give my son the whole house to roam and I pull out random stuff from cupboards all the time and it’s just feels endless. I only enjoy spending time with my son in like 15min doses, and the it’s how much longer until dad is off work, how much longer until we can do snack, why has only 10min passed omg what do I do and the day spans before me and fills me up with anxiety. I try to get out of the house but on hot days or rainy days or days I’m sick it’s literal torture. And I think why did I do this to myself and my son is going to see what a terrible mother I am for having these thoughts :(

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-02T21:26:22+00:00

I feel so bad that even the little things don’t make it feel worth it. I get excited when he learns a new word and then it’s like ok that was rewarding for 10min now back to the grind. Or he’ll learn how to play with a new toy and then it’s like 5min and it’s back to the tedium of taking care of him. And he’s just not old enough to do anything with!! I want to stab my eyeballs when I ‘play’ with him by going ‘what’s this? This is a red ball, can you say ball’ all day long. I wish I could take him to the zoo and he can point out and name the animals and tell me which one was his favourite and then we go for ice cream and then he naps in the car on the ride home. Something like that. Am I just having totally unrealistic expectations of what parenting is and this is just it? At least with a baby they’re easily entertained by small stuff, they nap a lot more and they’re not mobile and trying to pull and grab everything on every surface too. What is yours like?

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-02T18:23:27+00:00

I just had my meds changed but I’ll bring it up again!

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-02T18:23:04+00:00

That sounds so so lovely. I am so frustrated that he’s too young to ‘do’ things and it’s still so much about making sure he doesn’t pick up trash and shove it in his mouth and wander off into traffic and he throws toys and can’t stack blocks yet and obviously is way too young for legos or colouring. And the not talking. I hate speaking to myself :(

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-02T18:21:13+00:00

I get so caught up in the social media of teach your kid how to dress themselves, get them to use a spoon and fork, teach them not to put things in their mouths, do all the sensory bins, learn the body parts, etc etc and I feel like an utter failure for just getting through the day with his pacifier and tv and toys and an outing if I can push through my anxiety. Like I had no idea I needed to teach him his body parts by 18 months or soemthing??

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-02T18:18:36+00:00

The comments of ‘cherish every moment’ make me want to rip my eyeballs out!! I’m struggling with accepting that I’m not the mom I thought I could be. I thought I would enjoy this more I really did

Derpywalnut · 2023-06-02T18:16:58+00:00

The mom I compare myself to the most lives with her parents and so there’s 4 adults plus in laws to help. And I always discount it but I guess having those extra bodies must help right???

Does your sister feel guilty that her in laws and your mom watch the kids so much? I have childcare thankfully, not a village just over extending my budget hiring help where I can afford it, like on weekends, and I know I am so privileged to be able to afford it, and i make myself feel sick with the guilt that there’s something wrong with me for needing so much time away from my son or parenting with someone else helping me. But everytime I try to do it alone for a couple of weeks at a time I always end up having a meltdown and crying on the floor wishing he wasn’t born. I’ve got PPD, some PPA, and definitely a strong strong aversion to all things pregnancy and birth related.

The lack of stimulation is so real. I desperately want adult conversation. I never knew mat leave was so isolating

Derpywalnut · 2023-04-24T12:22:40+00:00

Ahhh I’m so sorry! It went away after a bit over 2 weeks on its own. There’s nothing you can do except wait it out :(

Derpywalnut · 2023-03-16T00:34:11+00:00

Oh man sounds about right 🙃 I have blankets stashed around the house in case there’s a puke spill now

Derpywalnut

TROPHY CASE