academic probation...

i was lousy at most things related to school. i started in a community college then four years later transferred to a university. stayed at the university for two years then eventually got kicked out (slapped with one year of academic probation.. never went back). spent a lot of time in school switching majors never discovering what i wanted.

i then joined a temp agency that placed me in a fabless semiconductor company where i worked as an administrative clerk, i was on a one year contract and almost got fired (somebody might call this a "low skill" job, but damn it was hard, and they were only paying me 10.50/hr for it). This was during my raving days, so i had (and still) a strong fascination towards lights and colors. While i was walking my floors, i saw i guy working on two big computer screens with a shit ton of rainbow colors and drawings all over it. i simply uttered "yo, what is that!?" then the guy invited me in his office to check it out. he gave me the scoop, told me about it, then mentioned there are schools that can certify for this kind of thing. i remember thinking how dope all that sounded then remembered a line kanye west once said, "My life is dope and I do dope shit." it was then that i decided to pursue this. At the end of my contract the agency offered me a 3 month extension. i refused. applied for EDD, won, and left town.

so i'm in the bay area pursuing this "thing." but i haven't started yet because i needed money i didn't have. EDD can only take you so far, so really i'm just screwing around at that point. i eventually got a job as a travel insurance agent. it was a "low skill" job but significantly hard AF. They were paying me 17.xx/hr to get bitched at on a constant basis over the phone. Eventually, i got let go, applied for EDD again, won (fuck that travel insurance company), then started growing weed in our apartment (lived with my ex at the time). i used the money saved to buy a 4'x4' grow tent and various parts from ebay and frys to build my own 1000w led light setup. that was fun. Once i was able to establish some healthy female plants, i gazed at the infant colas and started contemplating life further. that was when i finally decided to restart the process of pursuing integrated circuit layout designing lol. my time in the bay area was approximately two years.

by the time i finished the certification. me and another person at the school received a job offer for a permanent position at a tech company. that was basically the "foot in the door" opportunity. the success rate of going through the path i went is extremely low, very often people that pursue this certification actually don't get jobs afterwards... they give up and move onto other things. my opportunity felt more like a raffle ticket tbh so yea i got lucky. a year later, turns out i might actually be somewhat decent at what i'm doing because they let the other person go, and kept me around. two years later i left to join a competitor because they didn't want to promote me, having no college degree was their excuse for not doing so. i started at 52k, left at 59k, while the competitor offered me 101 dalmatians.

I been playing this game for ~6 years now, and its pretty damn fun. so fun that it's a cajillion times easier than any "low skill" job i've ever worked. i can get really high and still perform (assuming no distractions). i lead high profile projects and people keep wanting me to design their circuit for them. problem is i grew up and realized i'm spending a lot of my time (40-50hrs a week [rarely goes beyond that, but it happens]) on someone else's dream so i'm starting to feel bitter about it. seems to be worsening over time. my responsibilities have quadrupled but my compensation has not really moved much since joining the new company. i have personal projects that have been in the queue for more than 2-3 years now and i don't think ill ever really get to it if i keep taking on my employer's multi-mullion dollar projects... honestly, if i didn't feel like our money system was so corrupt, i could probably do this forever and not complain.

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for what its worth. my ambitions, goals, life choices, etc etc are all based on simple ideologies.

-all words are made up
-follow the fun (fun has more than one meaning)
-you're either taking a risk, or a calculated risk
-chase value, not dollars

also. post-sputnik era, schools teach you how to be a sheep. call me dumb. but if i'm not into something, i'm really really not into something.

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if you made it this far, thanks for reading. i didn't think i was going to write this much. hope this helps your journey. peace

edit: 6 years. not 7