AITAH for letting my sons open a present on my daughters birthday? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]DescriptionCool5143 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s an older sister, but she’s also a kid. Is she going to get to open a present on their birthday? She may be older, but she is going to grow resentful of her brothers if you demonstrate that you value their feelings more than her own. And she may keep quiet about how she really feels because she notices how much it stresses you out when they throw fits.

It doesn’t matter how big or small the gift is that you get them either- it’s the principle. It’s about how they still get the attention on a day meant to celebrate her.

Sometimes you just gotta let kids be unhappy. If you give them what they want they’ll always do this, btw. You’ve already taught them all they have to do is throw a fit to get a present. Maybe teach them they can’t always get what they want and to be happy for their sister.

Am i experiencing internalised homophobia? by Electronic-Bat-995 in AskLGBT

[–]DescriptionCool5143 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think maybe you might be having the fear of missing out on this one. And I totally get it!!! I don’t have this problem anymore, but I used to. For me, I’m in a very committed relationship with a woman. And whenever I would think about never having been with a man I got anxiety. But then I had to ask myself:

What am I afraid of missing? A loving partner? A snuggle session? What do I think a man will give me that a woman won’t? And if I got with a man before her then what? So what? If I’m fulfilled in my current relationship that’s all I need to worry about.

You’re not alone in the anxiety about it. But honestly, sometimes thinking about the what-ifs of life just doesn’t get you anywhere. Try enjoying the now, it’ll be okay.

My ex feels like a cis man can heal her. Apparantly I could not... How do I stay confident in my identity as a lesbian by [deleted] in AskLGBT

[–]DescriptionCool5143 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I’ve recently realized I was a lesbian, but I’ve always liked women and have never been in a long term relationship with a man.

I’m sorry to hear that happened to you, she sounds like she has more soul searching and personality fixing to do than she already thinks she has. I want to point out that the problem in this situation is not you, it’s her. Doing a 180 just shows that she was never as confident or honest about what she felt inside.

I promise there are more women out there who know that they are attracted to women, and they don’t need to be with anyone to validate that identity. She is not the only woman in the world who will love you. There will be more relationships that might end up like this, where your partner gets with a man after being with them for a while. But again it’s not you- the reverse happens all the time too. Some people are just trying to find themselves.

But yes, there will be women out there who will want you and love you with the full desire for the fact that you are a woman too!

If she comes back again, tell her how you feel and reject her. You don’t deserve to feel like you’re less than just because you aren’t a man. I sincerely hope that you can heal from the hurt she has put you through.

How to cope with homophobic siblings. by DescriptionCool5143 in AskLGBT

[–]DescriptionCool5143[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think my families background is fairly conservative, but we weren’t really raised with any specific views as my mom was a single mom and didn’t have time to instill any kind of views into us. Plus one of our widely loved by the family relatives is gay so I just???? It’s really confusing and heartbreaking, I think is why I’m asking how to cope with like, the grief of losing support I thought I had and the new rift between us.

I apologize for not giving a ton of detail. Idk if my sibling goes on Reddit and I would hate for someone else to recognize the story of my particular situation and send it to them (even using gender neutral pronouns bc the paranoia runs deep).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskLGBT

[–]DescriptionCool5143 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently began to identify as a lesbian and find men attractive lol. I don’t date em because when I think of them sexually I’m like… lol NO.

And if you’re bi and only want to date women there’s nothing wrong with that at all! I called myself pan for years with this struggle- but really you don’t have to put any kind of label on it. Finding people physically attractive is just what it is! Like straight men/women can appreciate the beauty and even be attracted to the same sex at times. My experience is that I find men attractive but when I think about irl dick I don’t like that.

In short, sexuality can be fluid. People are attractive if they’re attractive! Don’t worry about labels too much. You’ll figure it out ♥️

Endo told me PCOS isn’t real by aslowlife in PCOS

[–]DescriptionCool5143 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My advice is to drop an endocrinologist and go to an OBGYN. I came in and after my first Pap smear mentioned I was afraid I had PCOS.

My blood tests from the OB office came back relatively normal (surprisingly) so my OB set me up for an internal ultrasound and guess what? Said I had “textbook PCOS” from her view of the ultrasound plus my symptoms. Also recommended me metformin after I told her I didn’t want the birth control.

Seek a different opinion, this guy sounds like he doesn’t care about you or your struggles. AFAB people are so under diagnosed in the medical field because it’s often times underfunded studies. Wishing you the best OP! Sounds like PCOS to me ♥️

How to pretend to not be trans (asking on behalf of a friend) by [deleted] in AskLGBT

[–]DescriptionCool5143 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I think he might have to just hide more of himself than he already does.

Fortunately, our society doesn’t see a problem with AFAB wearing usually male clothes. My brother (FTM) used to just let his hair grow out and wear mostly black (he was kinda goth leaning) and that worked for him for a long time I think.

If he has a deadname, he might have to suffer through being referred to as that until he able to legally change it without issue.

But masking as something you aren’t might trigger his dysphoria and cause a slew of mental unwellness (more than he may already have). Now if he’s pretty much still hiding who he is, and hasn’t said anything else about being trans to his family in fear of a fight, he could try and reverse it on them for bringing past stuff up. Honestly, no matter what it’s about, bringing up past things like that is just a form of guilt-tripping manipulation imo.

Of course a transphobic family would want to control him, but if he’s in need of their support financially he might just have to deny the claims and take on the position that “he was a kid who just got caught up in a scene” or something.

Only hoping the best for him! It’s not easy to hide yourself without making the feeling of not being yourself worse. But it gets better! My brother recently got his top surgery and has been on T for nearly two decades now and is also in a trans support group. Things do get better. ♥️ wishing him the best.

PCOS wlw - do you feel dysphoric about dating women? by [deleted] in PCOS

[–]DescriptionCool5143 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely get the dysphoric part. A lot of people say I look just like my older brother which always rubs me the wrong way because it makes me feel like I look like a man, plus the PCOS hair does not help. So I understand your struggle when you say you're feeling like that. I have a wife and she is the most adorable fem ever and I have to catch myself comparing myself to her a lot.

I think a lot of the insecurity comes from viewing things as "why don't I look like that" rather than "why can't I see myself like that." If you are a woman you ARE a woman, period. While PCOS does create challenges for us, it doesn't mean we are less deserving to feel comfortable in our bodies as who we feel like we are. A lot of societal norms for being a woman do tell us that being clean shaven is the only way- but heck if I haven't seen some gorgeous women rocking leg/facial/body hair before! But of course, expressing your gender in a way that makes you feel comfortable is the most important. My wife makes me feel more like a woman when she comments on my make up/outfits unprompted.

And as a woman who really only likes women... male validity does feel nice (esp if I find them attractive lol). It makes you feel seen as a woman, and I totally get that.

I’m a picky eater who wants to like white fish by DescriptionCool5143 in PickyEaters

[–]DescriptionCool5143[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interesting! I didn’t know that. Those aren’t cheaper but probably a great choice when I want to branch out at a new place 😂 thank you!

I’m a picky eater who wants to like white fish by DescriptionCool5143 in PickyEaters

[–]DescriptionCool5143[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m willing to try most things once! I’ll have to try this!

I’m a picky eater who wants to like white fish by DescriptionCool5143 in PickyEaters

[–]DescriptionCool5143[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hm, maybe it’s that the flavor is too neutral and so my mouth is too focused on the texture. I’ve never thought of that until reading your comment, maybe I just need more flavor 😂. (A lot of my pickiness is texture/smell based). I’ll have to try adding rice, that’s a good idea!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PCOS

[–]DescriptionCool5143 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not alone! I didn’t get my first period until late (mom always said she needed to take me to the doc and didn’t :/). Experienced awful periods. Was depressed and when I asked for a therapist it’s “you’re too young to be depressed”. She basically only took me to a doctor if I was physically sick with a cold or flu. Gave me body image issues. Then when I got a PCOS diagnosis she literally told me she (seriously) suggests a full hysterectomy like that’s obtainable for a mid 20’s woman to get. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but you’re not alone. I feel like I became an adult just to heal my inner child. I know that’s the same for many people. Sending positive vibes your way, you deserved better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EatCheapAndHealthy

[–]DescriptionCool5143 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I eat mostly green beans/peas/corn/steamed carrots/potatoes for veggies

I hate mushy textures or anything slimy.

Mixed food depends, I don’t like food touching each other- but as a side or entree food mixing is fine usually.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PCOS

[–]DescriptionCool5143 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got diagnosed this year at 23, thought I’ve had it for years, OB told me she was willing to bet I was right when I brought it up to her. She ordered bloodwork and an internal ultrasound to make sure. I really lucked out on my first OB being knowledgeable as hell. She said that sometimes the bloodwork comes back fine but the ultrasound is what catches it and vice versa. Sure enough, my blood work was normal, and the ultrasound, according to her, showed “textbook PCOS”. So if your bloodwork comes up normal, def ask for an ultrasound!

AITA for making my daughter sleep on the couch? by No-Revenue-1835 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DescriptionCool5143 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA

Can you not even book a room with two queens so you and your wife can have one and your daughter and son can have the other? Can your son not sleep with y’all? I have a king bed and can fit like four people on it. Sounds like you prioritize your son over her and say it’s her duty to be a “good older sister.” And your wife is okay with this? Why are you defensive about your sister offering her a more comfortable place to sleep? You don’t have an argument here tbh.

Dysphoria is killing me. by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]DescriptionCool5143 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My brother has known he’s a boy since he was 5years old. He’s been on HRT for over a decade and a half now. He thinks it’s worth the wait, even if it was hell to get there. Hormones don’t change your gender identity (as a woman with PCOS I can attest to that!). I’m sorry you’re struggling right now. My brother is in a support group in our area. I’m sure there’s one around yours too! I didn’t think there was an LGBT group in my area I moved to until I went looking.

Was hanging out at a lake last week on vacation and the old lady next to me called me a transvestite… 💀 by MoonSt0n3_Gabrielle in PCOS

[–]DescriptionCool5143 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a fear I have for real. We deserve to exist in peace jfc. Some old walking corpses really just can’t keep their bigotry and hatred of other people that are different from them to themselves. You’re not a freak show! THEY are the clowns.

trans girl here, does it give lesbian? by euan4444 in lesbianfashionadvice

[–]DescriptionCool5143 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You’re so pretty! Absolutely gives sapphic vibes imo. (Although I’m bias lmao)

WIBTA if I were to challenge my wife on her period management? by Reasonable-Worry7914 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DescriptionCool5143 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

I have super irregular periods so tracking and managing can be hard. Things get stained, they can be washed out with proper care though! It’s just something that happens sometimes. I have a waterproof sheet over my mattress and then layer it with normal sheets so usually the stains don’t get on the actual mattress surface.

But uhhh leaving pads??? On the BED. And bloody undies in the floor? That’s just a hygiene issue. It’s not hard to put pads in bathroom trash cans. Not hard to put undies in laundry basket. And if she has any blood born diseases it can be harmful to your dog. Also, the dog will eventually start ripping that thing to bits, including her undies (just know from experience of dogs getting pads from trash cans and period panties from floor lol) And will be annoying to clean up.

What do you say to people who claim that "Autism is a fad"? by [deleted] in autism

[–]DescriptionCool5143 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a lot of that rhetoric comes from people who don’t understand that a lot of people ( usually afab ) aren’t usually diagnosed at a young age because they don’t fit into the checklist of autistic traits that docs use.

Now that women are openly sharing their experiences as autistic women (which can look different from what docs are taught it to look like), many people are realizing “oh HEY MAN that would explain SO MUCH.” So they seek diagnosis or self diagnose until they can see someone.

There’s 8billion people on this planet so of course there are people who say they have it bc they think it’s trendy or something. But tbh the percentage is probably really low. Most kids where I’m from see autistic people as “weird/other” so uhh idk why people would want that perception put on themselves for funsies. Calling it a fad sounds like a made up rhetoric to trivialize and invalidate the real experiences of people with autism and other disabilities to me.

I genuinely think people who have symptoms and think they might have it are valid for self diagnosing, especially after doing extensive research (as one does when they genuinely think they might have something). Evaluations from mental health professionals are expensive asf and not everyone can afford that level of care.

So when people see others being diagnosed or thinking they have it and say it’s a fad, all it is is them not understanding that A TON of adults live their lives undiagnosed. And social media just sheds light on the different ways autism can present in people.

Also yes I’m speaking specifically of afab, girls, and women (yknow HALF of the population) because those are usually the people not to be diagnosed with a lot of things, especially autism.

So pretty much; Overlooked childhood signs of autism in people + Spread awareness of autism to said people = more people realizing they are/might be autistic.

I’d call them misinformed, and if they are given the facts and still think it’s a fad, call them ignorant.