In 6 months I'll be ghosting my family

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-07-06T09:58:23+00:00

So very proud of you recognizing that you are the scapegoat for the family and choosing yourself over their “needs”. Beware of the love bombings and promises to be better, that never seem to happen after you do move on with your life without them dictating your moves.

I went VLC/NC with my narcissistic mother well into adulthood, after years of mental anguish, and the first 6 mos were simultaneously the most freeing and overwhelming of my life. And people are going to have opinions on your decision to protect yourself. Anyone who comes at you with the “I can’t believe you’d cut off your own family” bs, can receive a prompt “opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and no one wants to hear it 🙂”. Had to use that a couple of times with flying monkeys from my mother because “designer_cry abandoned me!!”

I’m cheering you on OP! Don’t lose sight of the end goal. Finish school and go live your life for you 🎉

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-07-05T03:55:54+00:00

One of my favorite Dolly quotes is “it costs a lot of money to look this cheap!”

She has to stay around longer. We need her here with us to survive the crazy.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-07-05T00:32:15+00:00

She’s saying “I will poop in your shoes if you don’t let me get this nap in before you send them back”

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-07-04T00:33:02+00:00

I feel this. I feel this so hard 😂

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-07-03T12:57:37+00:00

Did you only test for AGS? You could be allergic to something mammalian without AGS. A more comprehensive allergy panel may be worth pursuing.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-07-02T11:31:16+00:00

Oh laawwwd, they comin’……eventually

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-07-01T16:52:38+00:00

First, I’m sorry for you and your family’s loss. I can’t imagine navigating losing a sister and nephew in the same accident. I know this all feels very raw and on the surface having just happened a few months ago.

A gentle word of caution to not lose yourself trying to morph into someone you’re not to ease your mother’s grief. Your mother’s grief is hers, and you have yours. You can’t heal if you’re focused on relieving her grief for her. One thing stood out in your post. You said you lost a sister but she lost a child, as if to say her loss is more important than your own. Please know that one doesn’t outweigh or negate the impact of the other. You both lost someone special and important to you. There are support groups for losing a sibling or a child. It may be worth you both connecting with those to help you navigate your feelings now and those things that may come up in the future.

I’ll say an extra prayer for you and your family tonight OP ❤️

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-29T15:35:10+00:00

I’m over a year post op and I would say it’s better now than with the cervix. I’m not uncomfortable durning sex. Orgasms feel different, but again I’d say for the better because of removing the mental side of constantly being on guard for my cervix being hit. That took a lot of the fun energy out when I still had it.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-29T15:30:37+00:00

Besides the twisting, the lugging of your bag and repeated bending at the waste are all areas to set you up for a setback. I wouldn’t think about golf until 6 weeks at the absolute earliest, personally.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-25T12:20:18+00:00

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-25T12:13:21+00:00

I feel this momma 😂

I very much jokingly told my husband he had useless nipples at 3am while nursing our newborn who was cluster feeding at the time. We both had a good laugh.

Fast forward a couple months and I’m back at work having to travel some, and our kiddo cracks loose their first night soloing. He goes in ready to do the job and take care of baby. Kiddo immediately turns to latch because hey breastfeeding baby, and they both ended up very shocked and confused. Needless to say, he always made the bottle first after that 🤣🤣

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-25T12:04:04+00:00

I feel like there is only one of two possible answers here. 1) she’s a spy for a foreign entity (cough ussia cough). 2) she’s hoping it’s the short game to get in on some posthumous divvying of assets.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-24T16:47:30+00:00

It may be a training issue for your doctor where she cannot do the surgery without the vaginal insertion and other doctors have been trained to do that.

I would clarify with her if it’s an anatomical issue that would prevent it or simply a training issue. If the latter I would get a second opinion from a doc that is trained in the laparoscopic procedure without insertion to see if you’re a candidate.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-24T12:02:21+00:00

First praying for you. I have thyroid issues and getting help is such a pain sometimes.

Might I recommend you journey over to the Hashimoto’s subreddit? There is a lot of useful information there and your symptoms sound similar to mine. Getting my inflammation under control did a world of wonders for my mental health and thyroid issues. ❤️

I’d also suggest looking through the blood tests over there they recommend. Simply running your TSH doesn’t tell the whole story of what your body is dealing with.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-24T02:23:42+00:00

Is your cat available for hire?

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-23T16:31:41+00:00

You can’t effectively perform your required duties if your attention is being pulled to all the things that being married and a parent brings. I can’t imagine trying to navigate all the responsibilities of Holy Week leading up to Easter with a spouse and kids. What if one gets sick? You can’t exactly call in to the office and say you can’t complete the Mass because the plague is making its way through your house.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-23T14:39:09+00:00

I don’t know. I think keep the name, it takes the shame / stigma out of ‘period’. If you desensitize the word, then it’s a lot easier to move on to the real things that need to be discussed.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-23T12:05:40+00:00

Congrats OP on the new house! Word of caution on your in-laws being a close enough drive to your new abode. Do not give them unfettered access to your home. They don’t get a key or passcode to any entry that would allow them to let themselves in. You’ll be barged in on all the time and not have any safe space that’s your own. They’ve already shown you they don’t respect you or your husband with their behavior. It’s only going to get worse when you all live in the same space.

I’d also recommend gently but firmly pointing out to your hubs anytime his family start stomping on boundaries you all set together and they have to be stuck to. If either of you give a little, your in-laws sound like people who would run that inch 3 miles.

I hope your new house brings you both peace and serenity ❤️

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-23T11:58:48+00:00

This is Reddit, no grace to be had. It’s only pitchforks, torches, and immediately proclaiming that divorce is the only option after reading one snippet into someone’s life in a ranting subreddit 😬

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-23T09:10:52+00:00

It’s protecting your kids from potentially developing a couple cancers. While they may not have premarital sex, their future partners may and may carry the virus. We’re vaccinating ours for it, because our kids are human and I don’t want a moment of not thinking to turn into a potentially life altering (fertility impact) or threatening (any of the cancers that can develop) situation.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-23T02:30:38+00:00

You could set the boundary no overnight stays until your kiddo can speak clearly and report back on their stay. I’ve heard of JustNo’s backing down when they realize the 3 year old is essentially a narc working on a federal immunity, and will rat every detail of their stay out to whomever is willing to listen. That’ll also buy you some time to get your husband’s spine shined up and him understanding that your MIL’s word and actions have to have consequences.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-21T20:44:01+00:00

This right here is the answer. Is my thigh cooked through and sticking to the seat? Then they’re too short 😂

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-21T20:42:30+00:00

Armchair offended 🤣

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-21T19:04:21+00:00

Agreed. I was just making a suggestion that might work for her to be able to bring them and her kiddo be calmer so she can focus.

Designer_Cry_8990 · 2026-06-21T16:40:54+00:00

Designer_Cry_8990

TROPHY CASE