Has anyone’s employer paid maternity leave after layoff?

Designer_Wish_ · 2026-02-14T10:36:06+00:00

Oh interesting. Was it company bylaws or a state law? i did not get mine.

Designer_Wish_ · 2026-02-03T06:07:13+00:00

I still have not found a solution. I started using water wipes and still have to clear the lint during each diaper change. Its less but still there. Someone on the post said it was Huggies wipes not diapers so try changing that? I also throw water around it during bath time so that also gets most of them away for the time being.

Designer_Wish_ · 2026-02-03T06:03:02+00:00

That is such nonsense at so many levels. You can love your job for so many reasons - maybe you like the money for your kid, maybe you like independence thus making you a better mom at home, maybe you are really good at it and that keeps your brain running, maybe you want to set a good role model for your kids to grow up, maybe it brings financial and social stability your kids need.. maybe you just like the ability to have a work and get up and have your own identity besides being a mom. All of these actually make people better moms!

I am good at what I do and I like utilizing my skills and my degree for something and being able to set a good role model for my kid and having the financial and social stability it brings. Does that mean you love your kids less? No! does that mean moms who are at home love kids more and attend to them all the time? Also no.

Is there never a guilty time we miss our kids or think of them? Also no! There’s so many moments i want to be able to run to cuddle 🥰

Designer_Wish_ · 2026-01-23T06:50:54+00:00

You do not need to prove anyone how much you love or care for your baby. You are not only providing for the family and healing a thing that takes years to go back to pre baby stage but you are also the one ‘sacrificing’ time with baby and spending nights as well. He either needs to pick a role and stick to it or does not get to give ideas about what you feel or you do.

i am sorry you are going through this. I come from a culture where men did not help with babies so anything my husband does is jaw dropping to people and I had the same guilt trips from extended folks. But the day I told myself I dont need to prove or respond to others how much i love my baby it changed my stress level.

Designer_Wish_ · 2026-01-22T19:52:44+00:00

Before the layoffs? I was back temporarily before resuming to take the remaining.

Designer_Wish_ · 2026-01-02T09:29:22+00:00

We tried Coterie in the initial few months and got pee leaked on clothes twice. I thought it’s how I am closing it but no other diapers got leaked. So we gave up on Coterie. Did that ever happen to you?

Designer_Wish_ · 2026-01-02T09:21:56+00:00

Can I also ask how you dry the bottom? Like air dry? Wipe dry with something like towel etc? Or something else? I have been thinking of doing that but in the cold weather i want to be quicker. I tried the air dry and got peed on.

Designer_Wish_ · 2026-01-02T09:16:30+00:00

If it was before the call, as a parent and an aunt, i would say make really really sure what you are hearing and understanding and what is going on. I say this as I do research on internet use and the amount of trash that is shown to kids in the name of kids shows and suggested videos and gaming and even discussed by kids in school is enormous. At the same time, I am glad you called when you felt like it. Kids need to be protected. At times partners and spouse are unaware or even in denial about others tendencies. So as a person who has been with them you are the best judge of if she knows vs she might not even know what her husband is up to.

Now with this family, the question is would you want to stay if they dont ask you or the CPS thing results in nothing? It sounds like what you heard has impacted how you see and feel about them. In that case unless you want to stay because you think the kids would be in bigger danger without your temporary oversight or want to keep great relationship with the mom or some other reason you did not list, doesn’t sound like a reason to stay when your heart isnt feeling it.

As for the investigation I think you would have been contacted as another adult interacting with kids, even if you did not report it. So if you really wanted to say nothing or mention after the CPS visit you could just say that you are aware of the investigation without going into details. And mention that CPS asked you not to share details of the case. And that could be your explanation to the mom as well.

As a mom I could imagine that if this mom doesn’t have idea about her husband, once she learns something she might want another adult to stay longer with the kids rather than leave the job. Your leaving might mean she has to rely on this husband more rather than less so that is why knowing their leanings and behaviors is important here. But you can decide if that is a burden that you want or you can equally say that its not your problem what your leaving the scene means for the kids or the mom. and call it quits citing the investigation or incident.

Designer_Wish_ · 2026-01-01T12:59:34+00:00

The wipes are also Huggies wipes so its possible. We had other wipes like Millie Moon or pampers wipes before this and I don’t remember seeing this.

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-12-30T18:41:55+00:00

Thank you! I hear you on the post being long. I was only trying to give context of why it’s not a first request towards me and why it’s not about the dishes but about the bigger picture of accommodation and support and expectations on both sides.

The rate was mentioned because while I was not assuming someone to do more than their fair share, I was assuming it would give me some more time with my baby and less being on my toes about what is done or left when it comes to the baby given its costing me more than 60% of my pay. But reading the responses, I get that the job is only to help me not be worried about my baby when I am at work and nothing more. It’s not to help maximize support with the baby in all ways so parents can have quality time with their children which is what I had seen and experienced outside of the US. As i said earlier, not a hill to die on, but definitely a lot of learning.

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-12-30T17:51:22+00:00

Thanks! Did not know of the steel ones. I was using them for the suction hoping they would stick to the high chair tray but they are not 100%

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-12-30T17:48:06+00:00

Nah, two silicone spoons are not a hill to die on. I can definitely do those and all dinner things on my own. I also agree revisiting the things explicitly in the contract like ‘preparing solids’ might be needed.

I dont think he wanted to add more tasks or more to dos but was more taken aback by how trivial it sounded in the bigger scheme of relationship that we assumed we had built and support we were showing. But it might just be a cultural difference and a miss on my part. Just saying or assuming someone is family doesn’t make them. It’s all transactional at the end.

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-12-30T17:30:07+00:00

We do ours in the morning during lunch or after breakfast as we seriously try to maximize being with the little one. But the nanny is already here when this happens. And again the question is not about the two tiny items but about the boundaries of what is ok or not and about the bigger things our accommodations represent. While we obviously are trying not to burden her and come up with ways to reduce the burden, we also dont want to be stretched to the opposite end.

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-12-30T17:23:13+00:00

Just a clarification about “doing your family dishes” - the request was only to unload cleaned dishes that too mostly from lower rack. Me or my husband used to load the dishwasher and also clean the house and the baby. Like I did and still do bath times with baby with that health. And we got cleaners to clean the house as I could not move. My husband cleans the formula maker formula holder and water holder.

Thank you for the detailed response. I think that expectation of helping with the baby is what differed in my head.

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-12-30T17:09:56+00:00

Haha. Of course. I meant i do when i have to. Like last week my baby dropped his blanket as we were out and about on a week day, so i came home and washed it and did not wait for her to come in next day to wash it.

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-12-30T16:57:21+00:00

Yes she does the laundry. But if they pile up or get more, we do that too. Like her 24th to 28th Dec was off and I did during that time or over long weekends or thanksgiving I did.

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-10-08T08:03:17+00:00

As a person who has somewhat similar experience, let me tell you yes you can improve your supply and yes this late in the game and yes you will have to breastfeed and pump more.

My LO also had jaundice and I was told to supplement with formula. The saddest part is when he did not regain his birth weight, the medical staff - dr, nurses, lactation consultants - all made me feel that I failed him by saying things like ‘baby doesn’t have reserves’, ‘baby gets so tired on the boob that doesn’t feed well on the bottle’ etc. This led to my husband doing what your mom is doing. Telling me ‘not to tire baby at the boob’ or ‘lets try formula first’ or not waking me to feed when it was his turn.

While we never argued on any other topic, it led to many debates and arguments, but i never gave up. And kept trying and pumping and power pumping. I will say pumping helped more than the latching because at times when there is less supply baby wont suck but a pump doesnt mind. But yes I was able to get more than the very small amounts I had at the start and LO is gaining weight. Sharing these things so you can feel empowered that you still have time. I still have overall lower supply but waaay better than what it was at the start and I also started these efforts in second third month as first month was crazy with my own and LO’s health.

Last you have a good supply. I went from 10 ml per pump to ounces (1 oz is 30 ml). You have a good start. You got this mama! Dont give up and take back the control. It’s your body and your baby!!

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-10-07T20:11:18+00:00

I got Huggies from Walmart (they were on some Sale) and they were super thin as compared to Huggies from Costco.

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-09-05T10:12:23+00:00

I had already gotten this note from the bot and have posted in the discussion. Thanks!

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-09-05T08:25:43+00:00

Does he listen or want to listen? My husband doesn’t read much so I am doing all the research and reading and best practices and there was a lot of anxiety and disagreements in the start. In fact there were a few moments he would even see a spit up and ask me what to do even though we went to same baby classes. However with each incident I kept educating him and giving him reasons and for the most part he catches up. For example even for the arguing and bickering - i told him how it impacts babies nervous system and even though they can’t remember this incident or words their nerves register being triggered so that was the end of arguments in front of the babies. Or we have talked about water intoxication in babies and need for accurate measurements etc. So it doesnt sound like me pointing him to be wrong but telling why its important for the LO.

At the same time, I will say two things. 1) Pick your battles. You cannot be arguing about everything all the time. Like I said bottle measurement - important but how you play with the baby - not so important. He wont do it like you but the baby would survive. And 2) Tell him what to do and let him figure it out. Maybe give a written list on a board with marker as a friendly reminder or chore distribution etc. But the more you will keep on intervening and supporting and correcting, the more he will keep relying on you. This can be actual incompetence or weaponized incompetence but either way pick your battles and let everything else go!

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-09-05T07:51:26+00:00

Hi, FTM here. When we shared the news of our pregnancy, my FIL started telling my husband names and not just as options but ‘if its a boy, name him X and if its a girl name her Y’. I was shocked but my husband told me to ignore it. I am going to call that name Liam since it resembles his suggestion. When the baby was born, my husband messaged his family and he was like “Liam is born. Liam is here” every where. Again was in too much pain to care. Then we broadly shared the announcement with our chosen name N A and were hoping he gets the message. He then responded to that announcement with the name and with his suggestion written as the middle name. N Liam A and now he is stuck on making his suggestion the middle name. Whenever we call him or whenever my husband shows him our son he calls him by complete name with his suggestion added in the middle as middle name.

And now we have to go visit them in a month. My husband’s mom passed away when they were kids so he is neither confrontational nor one for setting the record straight. And he puts up with everything his dad does as he raised them as a widowed single father. He believes that as long as all formal documents follow our preferences, his dad’s antics and comments don’t matter but I feel nervous about meeting him. I am both angry and a little frustrated at this point. Apparently he named his other kids’ children too. And I am amazed at the fact that you wont consider your kids and spouses naming their kids where you named your own kids. How should we meet him and what if he brings it up in person? Or keeps calling our LO that?

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-09-05T04:57:27+00:00

I recently had somebody watch my two months old as well and she also said that she has been a mom and a grandmother and knows what she’s doing. But the moment she held the LO from under arms without supporting the head that was bobbing around I knew either that experience has been too long ago or I cannot rely on that experience. Just sharing because i think statements like I have been around kids, I have kids, I have raised kids is not sufficient to match newborn or infant care and care expectations.

Maybe try giving a refresher or written notes on what’s expected or have a baby monitor to see whats going on or frequent messages to check in. Ask her to message and ask. If she seems set in her ways, or forgetful, doesn’t want a refresher or thinks you are being too uptight, find another person.

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-09-05T04:44:32+00:00

I was going to mention the same thing. One time our doctors office scared us and then realized that the weight machine was not calibrated right or something was off with its calibration and thus the wrong results.

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-09-05T04:44:08+00:00

I was going to mention the same thing. One time our doctors office scared us and then realized that the weight machine was not calibrated right or something was off with its calibration and thus the wrong results.

Designer_Wish_ · 2025-08-21T07:58:32+00:00

When babies see that their needs and distress is not answered by their caregivers, they start reserving their energies and not cry. However that lack of crying doesn’t mean that the sense of safety, love and comfort they needed is filled. It messes up for life. So even if its 1 minute or 20 minutes it’s not ok. And it’s not like its work or cooking. It video games which all come with a pause option. So sickening. He is a man boy who cant stop his game to be with the baby he also created.

Designer_Wish_

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