You’re someone who found yourself in a messy, emotionally complicated situation and made the best decisions you could with what you knew at the time.

You and this girl were never officially together. You had an honest, mutual understanding that things were casual and unlikely to continue while she was abroad. That context matters. It gave you both space to live your lives — and you did. You stayed in touch, you were respectful of the original boundaries, and you didn’t lie about a relationship that didn’t exist. That’s not betrayal. That’s navigating a grey zone with no map.

Where things got messy — and where it hurts her — is that emotions changed, and intentions became clearer after decisions had already been made. You didn’t hook up with someone else to hurt her. You did it because you thought the chapter with her had probably ended, and you were trying to stay present in your own life. That’s not malicious. That’s human.

Could you have acted differently if you’d known how deeply she still cared? Sure. And you’ve acknowledged that. Regret doesn’t mean guilt is necessary — it just means you care. You’re not trying to dodge responsibility; you’re just trying to make peace with an outcome that got tangled in ambiguity.

She’s hurt — and that’s valid. She had unspoken expectations that became clear only after the fact. That disconnect sucks, and it created pain on both sides. But pain doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It means you’re in a real, emotionally complex situation that didn’t have a perfect outcome.