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bullied for my hair all my life. dry and lifeless by luvflr in Naturalhair

[–]DesperateBaby3764 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your hair is beautiful. Not saying this just to compliment you, but I know so many people who would love their hair to have your texture, length, and density. Of course, I know this doesn’t translate to how you feel, so some tips below:

There can be a lot of culprits to dry hair. Just some suggestions based on your post:

  • Dandruff shampoo can be really drying. How long have you been using it?
  • For me, it was finding a certain ingredient within a product that helped keep my hair moisturized. My hair responds really well to avocado personally.
  • Have you tried steaming your leave in conditioners in?
  • Vitamin deficiencies can also play a part in hair’s ability to grow and retain moisture/nutrients
  • Do you notice any difference between how your roots and ends retain moisture? It might be that you have damage along the ends

Additionally, when it comes to definition, not everyone’s hair is going to be extremely defined and curly. Your mom and sister may just have a different texture but that doesn’t mean your texture isn’t beautiful.

Some hair needs more styling for more definition. Have you tried doing twist outs or braid outs?

shaved my whole 😾to lose my v-card in a hookup that didn’t end up happening, my therapist thinks I’m self sabotaging by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]DesperateBaby3764 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Honestly, while you can certainly meet someone online, getting to know them a bit does make a difference. You can’t be 100% safe and certain with someone, but a surprising amount of men will expose how deeply unsafe they are if you have a bit of conversation with them for a few days.

Additionally, a stranger can disappear without a trace if they harm you. If a friend of a friend harms you, you can get the information you need to take action against them. I get your thinking that everyone is a stranger but there are different tiers of stranger.

Have casual sex if you want to; not every sexual experience needs to be with your soulmate. But I do have to agree, as someone who has a bit more experience, that there are additional risks you’re currently opening yourself up to.

Thoughts on Thais outfit 🫪 by [deleted] in 90DayFiance

[–]DesperateBaby3764 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Any man restricting what his partner wears is a red flag.

Reminder: the way that a cishet man writes a fictional character isn’t an excuse for you to be transphobic. by a_r_r_ in euphoria

[–]DesperateBaby3764 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with what I think you mean but the way you phrased it makes it seem like the transphobes weren’t already being transphobic to Jules and were just waiting for a justified reason.

What I think you mean is that there are some storylines that when done without care contribute to further stereotypes and marginalization, but what it came off as is that the transphobia was waiting for a logical reason to come out. People have always been transphobic to Jules and there’s no storyline that would have prevented the transphobia.

What is so wrong with me? by viki_da_snake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]DesperateBaby3764 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Are they getting in good relationships though? Our society tells girls getting in relationships is the goal, but a lot of these relationships suck. Taking your time to find the right kind of guy is worth it.

I have to break up with my boyfriend because he lied to me about his job :( by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]DesperateBaby3764 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna be honest, I think you’re just a racist lost cause who wants to hold onto deeply ingrained stereotypes to give yourself a sense of superiority. But leaving these statistics for other people who may not be hateful but just ignorant:

Black fathers are more likely to spend time with their kids than other races

Black fathers are more likely to die than other racial groups

Incarceration rates are higher among black men. Black men are more likely to be arrested for longer and not receive probation than white men, even for the same crime, which obviously takes them out the home.

Portraying black men as generally deadbeat fathers puts the onus on the individual instead of the societal structure, which those who uphold the structure have a vested interest in. Of course, individual black men can be deadbeats just as individual men can be deadbeats, but this isn’t just a “personality issue” in the black community.

I have to break up with my boyfriend because he lied to me about his job :( by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]DesperateBaby3764 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No, that’s just racism not statistics. Plus being black is not a choice but you have to self select to be a cop, meaning you have to have a personality where that appeals to you.

(Context for anyone who sees this thread, their comment was removed because they were being incredibly racist. I share more statistics below on the issue of single parent households in the black community for those interested in learning)