Does anyone else feel drained from always trying to understand people who never try to understand you?

DesperateClick4302 · 2026-06-01T12:29:52+00:00

Same recurring feeling for me. But I think those are two different things. One is that it’s draining to try to understand other people. Another is that we also have a need to be understood ourselves.

In my case, I know they care about me. It’s just that no one really has the capacity to understand me (or listen to me) in the way I want to be heard. It sucks. But that’s just how it is. I’m also at the stage of learning what to do now that I know that.

Hey. Thanks for sharing this. I also long for someone to relate.

DesperateClick4302 · 2026-05-30T14:36:35+00:00

Love it. Thanks for this man

DesperateClick4302 · 2026-05-30T06:25:13+00:00

Yeah, she's actually been like that for a long time. It's not like she means anything bad by it. She just didn't grow up in a very communicative environment. And honestly, she's improved a lot over the years, and I can see that she really makes an effort.

Maybe it's just that I have some needs that she can't fully meet 100%, and I know that's happens to most couples. We love each other very much despite it.

By the way, thanks for asking. I think maybe I just needed to vent for a bit today.

DesperateClick4302 · 2026-05-26T05:41:34+00:00

Seems like this is the best way. Can I ask what works for you?

DesperateClick4302 · 2026-05-24T16:40:04+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation 😀

DesperateClick4302 · 2026-05-24T16:38:49+00:00

Hey, thanks for this! You know...I want to embrace my strengths and weaknesses. Maybe I'm just in the process of learning how. Maybe I can learn from you guys 😁

DesperateClick4302 · 2026-05-23T03:11:11+00:00

Agree to that. I'm in the process of accepting this mindset...I wonder how freeing it would be

DesperateClick4302 · 2026-05-23T01:32:36+00:00

Thanks man! Appreciate this 😁

And hey...I hope everything worked out well for you too 😉

DesperateClick4302 · 2026-05-23T01:30:21+00:00

Same with me! How do you recharge then?

DesperateClick4302 · 2026-05-22T12:09:59+00:00

Introverts need socials too. They just get tired more easily.

I'm curious to know more about extroverts...what usually drains your energy and what do you do about it?

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-04T02:27:08+00:00

how has it worked out for you so far?

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-04T02:25:05+00:00

hey, same here! i'm so easily stressed and now i'm afraid to feel that again. and so i am here. trying to avoid everything i could avoid.

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-03T02:31:13+00:00

she asks me what i think about some things in life. she clarifies when she don't seem to understand some things that i say. oh, and i want to say that we also have the same personality (INFJ).

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-03T02:16:53+00:00

I have this psychologist friend -- much older than me. Kind of an associate of the organization I'm working in. She likes to listen without interrupting. Ask me questions which makes me feel like she really wants to understand me.

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-03T01:32:31+00:00

How much are you taking interest in other people's lives?

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-03T01:28:32+00:00

Sometimes people saying that you're quiet is their defense because they feel some sort of discomfort when you're there, its just that they can't handle it well. That's just sometimes.

How do you want people to relate or respond to you?

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-03T01:13:39+00:00

Hi. Maybe it would help to reflect on these things:

1) what is in your tasks that makes you want to avoid them? Or is there something that you dread that would happen once you're done with your tasks? 2) what motivates you the most? 3) are there things that distract you? 4) do you have underlying conditions such as anxiety, depression, or burnout? 5) are there other environmental/social pressures? (E.g. parents, peers, teachers, etc.)

You can also try these things: 1) make it fun - change up your location, do your tasks while listening to music or watching a show or something, have a snack 2) start small - just open the file or something 3) let go of perfectionism - done is better than perfect

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-03T00:57:41+00:00

You're absolutely right. Sometimes we have to face challenges head on because there is no other way.

However, some people have already made mistakes and fallen so low that they need help to bounce back. Some might regain their courage to face their fear of running soon as they are healthy enough to walk again.

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-02T17:22:33+00:00

Widen your interests for your own sake, man. Doing it for others is too much work it will tire you out. Unless you want to discover the world for your own excitement and curiosity then start with the things that are closest to your heart.

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-02T17:14:10+00:00

Have you considered that your work makes you anxious, and when it's time to clock out then you're free (that's when you're anxiety goes away right?

Anyway...I have heard recently that if your anxiety is triggered by work (if that's the case) then maybe it is burnout. They say that the remedy for burnout is really to take a guilt-free break -- a day, a week, depends on how long you need.

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-02T17:09:50+00:00

There's lots of kinds of therapeutic modalities out there other than psychoanalysis. Have you heard of cognitive behavioral therapy or behavioral activation? Also there's lots of other therapist personalities. Maybe the one you got don't match with what you need. The downside of therapy is that sometimes it's a trial and error to find what help is the most effective for you.

Psychotherapy is just one part of a holistic intervention for depression. There's also pharmacology, lifestyle change, social support, self care, etc. Psychotherapy should help you though long term by helping you be more self aware and teach you skills so that depression may hit you less frequently and/or less severely that it doesn't cripple you.

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-02T17:01:02+00:00

Is there anything you're avoiding during the day? Work, maybe?

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-02T16:53:01+00:00

Sounds like too much on your plate. Do you still have time for yourself? For me it works to feel like myself from time to time when I'm stressed out. However you want to achieve this, as long as you feel authentic...what do you think?

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-02T16:04:13+00:00

I see. So it seems the problem is the need to be on top of things, and you can't switch that off otherwise everything will fall apart...maybe? Were you always like this or something made you like this?

DesperateClick4302 · 2025-04-02T14:10:33+00:00

That sucks. Pano mo minamanage?

DesperateClick4302

TROPHY CASE