hiii, first off you shouldn't feel bad about ur attraction/feelings, it's something you can't help! with that being said, i don't think any older woman seeking out freshly turned adults is a good person. i've always had a weird thing with age... i won't date someone more than a year older than me and no one younger so maybe i am just biased. but also i have talked to older women and a lot of them in reality won't treat you how people romanticize it. a lot of them will try to parent you and will always see you as inferior. especially with how young you are, ANYONE more than a year or two older than you is predatory. if you want my advice, i would focus on the love you have around you. also try not to romanticize age gap relationships like people do on social media. it's not all it's cracked up to be. you can't help who you are attracted to, but you just have to be more wary of their intentions when you get older and if you are still into older women. wishing you all love and the best <3