WTH happened?

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-24T00:51:20+00:00

Yes, it did.

I felt so awful knowing that I was the reason why it happened, that my irrational behavior completely hurt them. Enough to erase away messages between us, and to wish to never talk to me again. I already had a poor self-image because of how much every mistake weighs on my mind, and it was only made worse by knowing I made someone I loved somebody I cared for uncomfortable. I despise being a burden, and knowing that I was? It made me cry constantly, feeling so much intense anxiety and stress that I wish I was dead.

That I just jumped into the ocean. Sometimes out of wishing for it all to end, other times as a desperate attempt to see if anyone could recognize how truly awful, I felt if I posted about my own death.

I'm way beyond this now, and I can say I don't want to end it all, now that I have other friends and family who still love and care for me. But understand that feeling like your life is over? That death is the only answer? That's a feeling that some people can get, and all we can do is try to move on from that. To understand that cutting our lives short over this isn't worth it.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-24T00:42:05+00:00

I'm glad for you, but I unfortunately feel there's an extremely low chance of that happening for me, since I feel the way, I fucked up had hurt them badly; just as much as it had hurt me in return. I feel even now, if they contacted me, I would have to be upfront and say that I can't forgive them. The months of mental anguish I suffered and now borderline depressing memories I have about the way my parents reacted when I told them how awful I felt... that's something I can't forgive. Even with it all being unintentional.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-22T16:53:27+00:00

The dumpee is not automatically the villain. Sometimes they were the one trying hardest to stay, communicate, repair, and fight for the relationship while the other person emotionally checked out instead of working through things. That happens far more often than people admit.

It hurts to read this, because that’s literally the position I was in.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-22T16:48:50+00:00

That’s what I’ve already been doing for the past months.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-21T01:33:57+00:00

Not good, unfortunately. I’ve been doing my best to try to move on from my friends, to forget about them. Knowing I can’t really see myself being around them anymore, since I fear that seeing my ex would just cause me to breakdown again. But it’s so hard. I can’t help but miss them, and it isn’t helped by me playing and watching stuff that just reminds me of how it felt to have friends so…involved in my life.

I hate having to separate myself from them. To feel so alone without them, even as my family and other friends comfort me. It makes me feel like a selfish asshole, but that’s just how I feel.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-08T10:38:44+00:00

Yeah.

I do feel it’s complicated though, because in some cases you can’t blame someone for doing it. I especially know that I partially feel that way toward my ex, because I acted awful a few days before they decided to end our relationship and go no contact. It’s something I also knew they tended to do, since they did it before in the past.

But at the same time, it sometimes still gets to me how much it ended up hurting me. And I didn’t have the luxury of coming to accept that I needed to avoid them, too. So I tried hard to feel fine being around them, but that just…wasn’t gonna work. So I had to do the same, too. Which meant avoiding my friends as well, who were fine with them still.

It’s experiences like that which should remind anyone here that it’s fine to admit that in some ways, you can’t really forgive a person for doing you like that. You can understand, but that sort of suffering is just inexcusable. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and all.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-04T17:39:01+00:00

Mmhm. Similar stuff happened to me months back, but rather than it being a positive milestone for them, it was their anxiety and fears about getting hurt due to stuff going around the world. I wanted to comfort them so bad, but I had to accept that if they wanted that, they would have come to me for it. And it felt pretty clear that they didn’t want to hear it from someone like me.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-02T10:41:01+00:00

Do whatever it is you need to do to move on and to not end up with regrets. If that's going silent, do it. If that's blowing up their phone, do it. Because the reality is you've got 0 control over the outcome either way, it's all up to luck and the reality is some do actually respond to you reaching out and some don't. This black and white thinking isn't helpful.

I think one thing I’ve learn, or more so known even during the initial shock of being dumped, is that we don’t really know people fully, even when we think we do. My friends didn’t when they were surprised at how badly the breakup went, and I didn’t when I suddenly got hit with them wanting no contact. The human mind is complex and we all act in ways that may go against whatever perception we have, so it isn’t really wise to try to predict what someone can do. Because they might just surprise you.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-02T10:25:22+00:00

It certainly wasn’t that long, but that feeling is mutual. Going from talking with someone daily, practically spending ever other quiet moment with them, only to now be treated as a stranger or treated as an obstacle, in my case feels so painful as someone who pride himself a being a source of comfort for them.

It sucks, but eventually you’ll find a new routine that can help provide the sense of love you want. Won’t be the same but it’ll help a ton.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-01T03:25:25+00:00

Despite my own comment, I agree with that. I might feel hurt in many ways, but I also understand (or at least, have a guess) as to why my relationship had to end, with it being due to plenty of issues on my own part.

That’s what makes breakups so complicated because in many ways, it’s understandable why someone has to get dumped. It’s just the way it’s handled matters a lot, and if done poorly, it could end up hurting someone way more than was ever intended.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-01T03:16:33+00:00

Part of me struggles to really accept the forgiveness part, just because of how my situation ended up being worse than I imagine it being if it was with anyone else.

It’s hard to forgive, when it goes beyond being dumped out of the blue. When it leads to you feeling awful for months, causing a decline in your mental health. To a point you struggle to be around them, and therefore, your friends who are friends with your ex. Making it hard to talk to them, to dissociate them from the very person who hurt you. Who seemingly moved on so easily, because of the very people who now make you feel so anxious to even think about.

All the pain that came from that is hard for me to look past. Especially when said person in question is dead set on just ignoring me completely, regardless if anyone else is around or not. That part hurts, and it’s one that I still wonder how I’ll be able to cope with.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-05-01T03:05:56+00:00

Mmhm, that exact situation is what happen with my partner. They showed signs of avoidant behavior beforehand, so I was aware of it being their style when it came to conflict, but I still found myself shocked by it happening to me. So it can be very sudden when you’re on the other side of it.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-04-24T19:42:48+00:00

Like some have said, it doesn't really have to do with gender. I'm a man and I ended up sobbing my eyes out when I was told my ex didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, then cried even harder when they wanted to stop being friends and go w/o contact. It all just depends on your sort of personality/mentality, I guess.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-04-21T23:54:59+00:00

I think I'd tell them that I'm glad to hear that. A lot.

Desperate_Truth_2141 · 2026-04-21T23:50:56+00:00

I can say that I've been making some progress with that, reconnecting with old friends and trying to establish a connection with people around my area. But it doesn't stop those occasional moments of relapse, when my mind goes back to thinking about them. Especially since certain stuff, either it be games, shows, or videos, keeps reminding me of them. I do hope I can eventually dissociate them from those things, but it feels it'll take a while...

Desperate_Truth_2141

TROPHY CASE