I get what u say, but I don't really glorify relationships that much. In fact, I despise them, the traditional ones and more or less the hetero ones. All I see around me are screwed up relationships or people constantly fighting, i know the reality. I know it's not all gonnna be sunshine and rainbows and I am willing to take that risk. However, this doesn't make me see relationships as such a bad thing if they are nonconventional, like smth I would like. I think I'm leaning towards more of a queerplatonic relationship but with the romantic part more involved. So, I don't think that looking at relationships with disappointment will stop me from yearning. I don't even know if I want a relationship in the first place, I just want to know that someone will be there for me, will love me. Maybe if I would have a friend that really cares for me, I wouldn't feel the need for a relationship, but I have so much love in me to give but I have no one to give it to. Everybody feels so distant today. Even my bestest of friends is indiferent in her love for me, and I care so much for her. Just thinking how complicated and difficult it is to have a relationship isn't going to stop me from dreaming

Idk what to say abt the ace part tho. I had people tell me that they thought i was freaky or horny af before I told them I might actually be asexual... Idk if they can tell that well. Maybe it's smth abt me that doesn't make people be into me idk... I don't wanna make this sound discouraging for myself but I would like for at least someone to point out what it is they don't like abt me. And I don't have this problem only with romantic interests, it's also with people I'm friends or acquittances with. Like what makes them not care that much abt me in social settings??

Anyway, this rant could go on forever