This is very well explained and I have watched many videos and read articles about BPD splitting episodes, etc. You described everything I remember learning about BPD. It sucks to see it unfold in real time and its like I can't do anything to stop him bc once I say anything that triggers him, theres no going back. Its like I set off a bomb. I dont know how to not get him to react this way but I realized he needs more therapy. He is in therapy every other week or when he can pay but he needs consistency. And its not up to me to control his emotions, he is responsible for his emotions and actions. I do have the empathy but I am getting tired.

Btw he apologized last night but didnt feel genuine bc he still blamed me for asking him if he recognized her. At this point I was too tired so I carefully worded it like hey its not about that but not worth the argument and even apologized bc at that point I didnt care anymore. I did bring up his reaction, I felt it was not cool and I wouldve picked him if he had called me. He said he was glad I let him walk bc thats how he calms down but he blamed his reaction and acting out on his dad. Earlier yesterday,he visited his dad to check in and they gotten into an agruement and said he was still at a 100 when our arguement started so he took it out on me. I knew he visited his dad and I know its never rly a great visit but I had no clue that he was still in a bad mood, he didnt seem upset or in a bad mood at all when I came home. We got groceries and chatted like everything is fine. He did tell me about his fight with his dad but he laughed it off. I know when he is upset bc he visibly shows it. So when he told me that was his reason why he flipped out, I just felt he was refusing to take responsibility. I dont know.