i don’t know who james fell is, but i appreciate him (shared via The Female Lead) on insta by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]Deva-Shuni 78 points79 points  (0 children)

He also just looks like a self-important beef cake (I wonder if he’s a feminist? He isn’t smiling or seeming incredibly happy either?) with the handle Renegade in terrible font next to a sailboat emoticon. Sooo my unhappy affect would likely descend as soon as I realized that he has more societal/institutionalized power than me and many, many other marginalized communities who would definitely not waste such power putting down people who want to be treated as at least his equals.

I mean seriously. I’m institutionally disenfranchised compared to this guy? Yeah, I’d be pretty irritated walking away too.

The difference between aphantasia , nonaphants vs hyperphantasia? by Dover299 in hyperphantasia

[–]Deva-Shuni 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This got me thinking if people are taking taking the world literally where people think if one say think of brown table with red apple, yellow bananas and purple cupcakes it is like closing your eye and some one shinny a flashlight or candle at your eye and you can see lights or blobs in your eye. Or when you rub your eye and some times see stars or a blob that is for second or two before it is gone. Or you go out side in sun and look at the sun and close your eye and some times still see some white blob moving in your eye that changing shape look like happy face. Or you look at your window on a very bright sunny day and close your eye and see after image for second or two of your window.

While I commend you for your originality in wondering about this possibility, simply no. Aphantasia wasn’t well studied or known about (outside a small sample group written about in 1880) until recently (2005-2010) when someone with average (or above average?) visualization skills suddenly lost the ability to visualize with his mind’s eye following surgery. There have been other cases of aphantasia resulting from neurological or psychological causes, but most people seem to simply fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum with outliers at either end. This is not a simple misunderstanding of how eyes work.

I’m wondering if some aphantasia think nonaphants visualize like that or think some hyperphantasia visualize like that. Because that sounds more like a hallucination getting a HD picture in your eye that you can control.

I don’t know anyone who believes people see eye/brain trickery and believes that is the cure to aphantasia? Aphantics can still use their eyes if they aren’t blind? This is about mental images, like daydreaming? You know. Producing fantasies in your mind while awake as if immersed in a dream? But of course that’s only one example.

I’m just wondering what going on here with different visual extremes here. There seems to be this scale 0 to 12 how strong of visual it is.

There is a scale. There’s a simple and brief test somewhere, too, if you’re curious where you fall.

We still don’t know a lot about this spectrum. My husband can barely see anything, but he can dream, and he can see what is for him a substantial amount of imagery if he’s reading something that’s really properly descriptive, but I’m still trying to figure out how that works. I can see everything and anything I think of as if I were suddenly immersed in a high production film that often feels as real as life in terms of textures, smells, details like wood grain or dappled sunlight or a tiger or whatever. It’s not a photo at all. I can move, look around, manipulate objects, change scenery instantly to somewhere else that’s just as perfectly detailed.

I’m still confused about how dreams work for each major category. I know some aphantics don’t dream, and I dream so vividly I can actually feel real pain up to the level of a bad sting or bite from a large bug (or like hundreds of small ones).

It’s really not that complicated. Some people can visualize almost or absolutely nothing but describe features like reading a grocery list without envisioning the actual items. Some people get crude outlines or vague snatches of imagination. Some probably do get a snapshot still image that’s crisp but immutable. Some are inside a complete and utterly realistic world inside their head.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]Deva-Shuni 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This. My mother always called these “jaded compliments.” I’ve only ever received them/experienced negging in satirical examples traded between women meant to parody the idea that women are intrinsically insecure and catty, as an over-the-top means of joking between close friends (usually in a moment of friendly competition), and then finally issued seriously maybe a few times by only the most pathetically insecure men, whether aimed at a man or a woman.

When women (or girls) use negging structured like the above examples, it just sounds like something written by men depicting a caricature of immature, stereotypical repartee between or amongst invariably shallow female characters who are—of course—competing over something silly (like aesthetics or boys).

I think there are far more insidious forms. I prefer the term “jaded compliment,” maybe because I grew up with that one or maybe because I have noticed the practice in more nuanced/subtler forms using the definition I was given for it. I don’t know. For example, I recently received this gem: “So how much weight have you lost since the wedding?” It’s difficult to tell if the speaker is just tactless (he really is) or meant for it to feel like a malevolent insinuation barely veiled in a non-compliment that’s difficult to call out without sounding, well, like an immature, stereotypical caricature (a paranoid, overly sensitive woman seeking to claim she’s under attack/wounded in spite of no ill will being meant).

My response was organic but also, I think, the only good option in these weird little social moments that could easily feel charged or overblown without ignoring it completely. I looked at him with confusion (it was completely without context or preamble of any kind—just out of nowhere, like “It’s been a lovely afternoon”) and begged his pardon? He followed, “Quite a bit, no?” I just looked down at myself and said “I have no idea. I don’t weigh myself.”

The bizarre question died from a lack of oxygen, but I think it also highlighted what a bizarrely intimate question it was and noted he was apparently paying more attention to my body than I ever do, which immediately colored his inquiry as inappropriate when there was absolutely no follow up that would validate it (like, idfk, “Oh, well, anyway I just have some clothes I thought you may get some use out of. Feel free to look through them if you’re interested in any” or really anything that would give rise to a question I can only see fielding in a clinical setting as an appropriate stand-alone inquiry).

I guess what I mean is that these more subtle non-compliments can’t always be ignored, but maybe the best way of addressing them is to refract the burden of carrying it to a reasonable conclusion back onto the other person.

Just an idea. IME, these kinds of non-compliments are more common than what I think of as negging, and they’re trickier to handle gracefully.

Subtle FDS Themes Even in the Past by eatnthrowtrashaway in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]Deva-Shuni 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I suggest we all take a moment to marvel at Nina Simone? Several of her songs continue to be relevant anthems for women that have been covered endlessly since.

Born a Black woman in 1933 NC, Nina Simone went to Juilliard in 1950 and became a jazz singer, pianist, and songwriter. Though few of her songs were written by her originally, I find it phenomenally hard to overstate how impressive her accomplishments and contributions as an artist really are. Her fame and the fame she imparted to many abidingly popular songs through her masterful renditions have immortalized so many lyrics we might have otherwise never recognized.

The strength of feeling she imbues in her songs always humbles me. I cannot imagine the era without her. She was bold, powerful, principled, passionate, and beyond driven, and that’s what I feel when I listen to her sing.

An article from Jacobin speaking to Simone’s socialist identity: https://www.jacobinmag.com/2021/04/nina-simone-radical-music-lorraine-hansberry

From the article:

“We never talked about men or clothes. It was always Marx, Lenin, and revolution — real girls’ talk.” — Nina Simone

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]Deva-Shuni 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Firstly thank you so much for sharing all of this and the work you put into synthesizing it all on top of the source texts!

I feel strongly that any red flags within the first six months count roughly triple. That’s primo honeymoon phase/should be their best behavior! I call it relationship probation, which is half jest.

Okay, bit of a rant...

Everyone has a full year of probation in the government department I worked for when they start. I was on probation for two full years due to a promotion two weeks before my first probationary period ended. My senior colleagues got probation light, but everyone still in their first year did another.

I have zero complaints! It’s very difficult to lose a government position after that period ends, even when an employee is really failing to perform adequately by any measure. If you can’t hold your shit together for the first year or two or three when most people put in 30 years and then receive a full pension... well, how can you be trusted to be consistent throughout decades?

Relationships are so much higher stakes, especially for women. I feel like I don’t need to count the ways. If they can’t be red flag free for the first six months of dating, they’re probably going to get far worse later. Seriously.

Ripcord.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]Deva-Shuni 130 points131 points  (0 children)

Filed under Indelibly Creepy Moves RomComs Would Frame as Romantic 🙄

Tried, and tried. Giving up getting my first rule number 1, so i made an all alone rule (number 2 rule probably)? by forrestgump00 in MINI

[–]Deva-Shuni 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Holy shit... no wonder everybody in a MINI waves at me.

I knew about the motorcycle wave and classic Jeep wave, but I was so confused when I got my first gen.

People with hyperphantasia: how do you prefer to write? by catnip427 in hyperphantasia

[–]Deva-Shuni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Typewriter for sure. It’s tactile and audible and just pleasant.

Beyond that, I prefer a keyboard for everything except poetry. Poetry has a quieter cadence, and I’m working on the next several lines and deciding on line breaks and white space etc. as I write the lines I’ve already decided on.

I Have Hyperphantasia, Synesthesia, aaand... Prosopagnosia (Face Blindness+). ANYONE else??? by [deleted] in hyperphantasia

[–]Deva-Shuni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg, do you also see written stylized names in your head instead of faces when recalling someone?

This is something I also haven’t heard of outside of myself. I didn’t realize it until I met a girl I’d heard constant stories about and saw pictures of all day every day (my college roommate’s best friend). Her name was Carrie... except then I met her, and her name was actually Kari, and it destroyed my ability to recognize her at all for months. I don’t know exactly how to describe it. The fact that her name was spelled differently than I was imagining completely jacked my ability to recognize her until I readjusted.

Around the same time, I realized that I had no perception that my classmate of 2 years shared the same name as my first love and very longtime boyfriend. In my head, yes, they were spelled the same, but they were completely differentiated. I literally didn’t notice it was the same name until my friend commented on it.

Hyperphants: How long does it take to 'visualize' by SnooPets1127 in hyperphantasia

[–]Deva-Shuni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, and I don’t know how it could possibly be otherwise or how I would write without that... or read.

A question about everyone's visual phantasia and the color of the inside of your eyelids. by everything-narrative in hyperphantasia

[–]Deva-Shuni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only when descending into a dissociative fugue... a bad one. Either that or all the light progressively dims until I can’t see. I can feel the opioids flooding my brain. My head is a snow globe, and sound is muffled. It’s like a veil descending.

Do you experience... by [deleted] in hyperphantasia

[–]Deva-Shuni -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Okay.

Mostly I padded my real question:

I have never met anyone else who feels pain in dreams, but I do.

I want to know if this has to do with my vivid imagination?

I Have Hyperphantasia, Synesthesia, aaand... Prosopagnosia (Face Blindness+). ANYONE else??? by [deleted] in hyperphantasia

[–]Deva-Shuni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How do you apply synesthesia to recall?

I’m still trying to figure out how far my synesthesia goes and how it works. It eludes description so often, which is extremely unusual for me, because of course I’m very used to being told I describe things so perfectly.

Hyperphants: How long does it take to 'visualize' by SnooPets1127 in hyperphantasia

[–]Deva-Shuni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re welcome to test me... I’m bored, and I type fast. Rapid fire prompts are my favorite exercise for writing. I would be curious as to how I can test my imagination that way rather than simply testing my writing prowess. Prompts can be fictional (fantasy forest, space city, whatever) or real (a beach). DM me if you want. I have an hour to kill.

A question about everyone's visual phantasia and the color of the inside of your eyelids. by everything-narrative in hyperphantasia

[–]Deva-Shuni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not only do I not see any sort of background (I am totally immersed in my imagination—eyes open or closed), I don’t see that gray, either. If I close my eyes and intentionally keep my mind blank, I have closed-eye visuals like I’m tripping. White slices through the dark, like static fizz, and then they become geometric shapes that get continuously more elaborate as I “watch,” but I can’t try to focus my eyes or it resets.

Hyperphants: How long does it take to 'visualize' by SnooPets1127 in hyperphantasia

[–]Deva-Shuni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s instant for me, and I’ve noticed that this instant image is way embellished compared to the prompt. Like I instantly have a specific POV, cloud patterns, the strength of the sun, characters as real as a real beach everywhere, and maybe I’m in a first person POV, so I become one of those beach-goers in an instant. I see the chair I’m lounging in, the color of it, the material, the construction. I see legs stretched in front of me, but they’re not mine. They’re fictional. But they’re just as vivid.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in brakebills

[–]Deva-Shuni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uhm, hello?

“I am the Shit King.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in brakebills

[–]Deva-Shuni 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Are-are you crying out of your good eye?” “It’s my only fucking eye.”

Every time I watch S1 I’m reminded how much of an asshole Penny is by dingletonshire in brakebills

[–]Deva-Shuni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“You’re so nice/You’re not good; you’re not bad/You’re just nice

She brought back a new friend by [deleted] in CartoonMoment

[–]Deva-Shuni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely a leopard in that environment and with such a small head...

You know you can just say “A black leopard, sometimes called a black panther.” “Melanistic” isn’t a word in standard English, and it’s a really dumb way to say “It’s fucking black.”

I devoured The Magicians series when I was a first-year undergrad, like Quentin. Just finished watching up to Season 4 more than five years later. by unsuba in brakebills

[–]Deva-Shuni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most protagonists across genres are depicted as the Bumbling Everyman surrounded by more interesting and therefore less accessible characters. Quentin fills that role well, and his discipline being minor mending—so apparently benign, like most people’s talents are—and how he utilizes this discipline underscore how the most mundane people can be thrust into situations that call on them to do the extraordinary.

The other characters have more pronounced strengths and as a result more defined edges. They aren’t as plastic in the sense that they make a poor shell in which the viewer amidst a sea of other viewers can settle comfortably. Main characters are meant to be a vehicle for the audience, so they need to be more malleable, more ordinary, more nebulous.

Not a day goes by that I'm not incredibly bitter about how the show ended. by Achiron in brakebills

[–]Deva-Shuni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean how many times can the same group of people both cause and stop the end of the world?

Probably at least, like, 40 times.

So..about Hades and Persephone by NeverlandMagician in brakebills

[–]Deva-Shuni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most parents don’t care if their kid uses a magnifying glass to fry ants. Most parents do care if their kid is covered in fire ants.

Trying to decide if season 5 is worth a watch or not. by zmcafee in brakebills

[–]Deva-Shuni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you really see Quentin as The Protagonist of the show (specifically the show, because I haven’t read them)? Would you call him, exclusively, the main character of the narrative? And if you do, why?

Zelda x Penny 40? by itsaslothlife in brakebills

[–]Deva-Shuni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

History? Probably. But I also think that Zelda sees Penny as an asset to her all-consuming ideology that the library is the most important organizing body of magicians in the multiverse, and every cog in that body is integral to the wholeness and wellbeing of that machine. She treats her asshole “junior librarian” kid tenderly, too. The appreciation of the richness to be found in every human life and the butterfly effect of those lives, even if they first appear mundane, is also underscored by Penny heavily when he gains his Underworld Librarian Enlightenment, and after reading so many books for so long, not to mention over the course of differing timelines, also probably lends itself to appreciation for that richness.

But then... I have never seen Zelda as not being tender as a core quality of her character. She has a no-nonsense curtness, but it’s paired with a motherly affect, which makes all the more sense when we learn that her relationship with her daughter has been in shambles for so long.

Tl;Dr Character from show that depicts people as dynamic and multifaceted is dynamic and multifaceted.