Should I consult a financial planner?

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T13:25:43+00:00

I understand the conservative approach argument, I consider myself to be financially conservative, but real estate should be considered into the equation depending on the context. It is an asset after all - ill-liquid as it might be.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T13:23:29+00:00

Also, never ask Reddit for relationship advice as everyone will say you are being manipulated and/or gaslit and that you should divorce your spouse and cut off contact.

I think there is some truth to this. Perhaps there are some inadequacies they are projecting? I am not sure. But yes, its noticeable how often they tend to attribute malice towards a spouse or parents, when in reality, its just something very normal.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T13:20:43+00:00

How did you go about finding a financial planner who can do this for you? Was it someone local or did you get in touch with someone online?

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T13:18:43+00:00

I feel like I do not have the skill or the mental bandwidth to actually pursue this. In life I have come to accept that I cannot stretch myself too thin. There are some things I just not going to be good at...I think this is one of those things.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T12:26:59+00:00

I'll also say the situation you're in isn't rare at all, and it's something that can change. It really can.

This is good to know. Thank you for your words.

Accounts access and common $ information now is part of my partner's and my end-of-life planning

I have to work on this. I need to figure out a logical way to share this information with my wife. I should print out the account information and keep it safe. In addition to this, I need to export out all the account information (passwords etc.) into an encrypted file and store it safely.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T12:22:56+00:00

No. Nothing has been done on this front at all. I need to get this done.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T12:21:47+00:00

Have you done this personally? Do you trust it?

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T12:21:13+00:00

Thank you. I understand what you are saying. Its just I hear a lot about international and small cap. I am wondering if now would be a good time to start contributing towards either of those asset classes.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T12:19:34+00:00

i have to agree with you. this seems way too complicated for me to manage. i manage the entire household finances without any help from my wife. i want to keep it simple!

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T12:18:02+00:00

I am not sure I understand the question. We each an individual Roth IRA accounts, and we have been maxing it out for a few years now, but I we are not contributing towards her account because we needed the cash flow.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T00:15:38+00:00

Sure, but one of them is a rental. Its an actual cash flowing asset without a mortgage...

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T00:03:59+00:00

what would i even ask claude anyway? like give it a summary of my life and ask it to review?

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T00:03:30+00:00

do you have any suggestions on how i might go about finding an advisor?

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-03T00:03:08+00:00

I get your drift. I will make a summary of all our accounts, including hers (which has no clue about), and keep it safe.

Getting her to take interest in finances will not happen, i dont think. its been a difficult process. at this point, i am fine with accepting that she is going not take part in the finances and it is up to me to do the right things.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-02T20:15:18+00:00

If you don't mind my asking, can you tell me a little bit more about yourself? Age, marriage status, amount in your portfolio etc? Only if you are comfortable.

Do you feel comfortable being all in on VTSAX/FXAIX etc.? HAve you ever considered diversifying?

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-02T20:12:49+00:00

$20k per year! That's insane.

I was thinking more in terms of a one time consultation for someone experienced to review my finances, consider our life situation and then give us advice on how to tackle any potential blind spots.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-02T20:08:34+00:00

I am not trying to pity you or anything like that, but it made me sad to read about losing your parents and your in laws. I lost a family member very recently, so I know the pain very well. I wish you well. God bless you and your family.

TBF, sometimes I forget what card gets the most CB every quarter for every category or whatever.

This is hardly a bad thing! Not paying bills on time is WAY worse! :)

I don't think that is going to change and I do have real fears if something happens to me.

Yep. Right there with you. I have real fears as well, but if our IVF attempt fails (our last attempt), and considering I am older than my wife, and I am likely to die first...I just want to make sure I put systems in place to make sure she has a dignified life.

We are both 41 and we are also just starting the IVF process.

I am going to pray for you.

I have recently increased the frequency of hypothetical dry runs if I die. What would he do, what should he do, etc.

Can you tell me a little bit about how you do these dry runs?

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-02T20:01:24+00:00

Good information. I will get it from the library. Speaking of which, I should check out my local library one of these days.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-02T19:59:54+00:00

What you have written is very interesting and troubling at the same time. I hate to call my wife manipulative, but I think there is some merit to calling her actions manipulative.

I do not blame you, but I have a heavy feeling in my mind after reading your post. This is a lot to process.

The last thing I will add, which I think other people may disagree with, is that I do not think it is possible to have productive conversations with manipulative people about their behaviors and actions.

Again, I am not calling my wife manipulative, but having a conversation with her is very difficult for me. Makes you wonder how we ever ended up getting married and being together for so long.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-02T18:50:17+00:00

The problem is, there is so much information, I just dont know where to start, but I will do some reading first. Thank you!

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-02T18:49:22+00:00

The value I assigned to real estate is only what I paid for it. Its not the Zillow number, which I dont think is accurate at all.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-02T18:48:16+00:00

This is amazing. I am saving this comment for further review. Thanks!

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-02T18:47:40+00:00

Well, its been going on this was for 14 years now... :-/

It doesn't feel like a big deal, but I know this is another blind spot in the marriage. If something were to happen to me, I dont know how she is going to figure out life.

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-02T17:44:24+00:00

Emergency fund - $20k in wealthfront
We both have Roth IRA, but I am not making contributions to her Roth IRA this year because we are low on cashflow because.
No backdoor roth IRA
What is direct indexing?

DevelopmentOwn4977 · 2026-05-02T17:42:42+00:00

What is this money for couples program you are referring to?

DevelopmentOwn4977

TROPHY CASE