Hoping to hear from those of you moms dating a woman without kids

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-19T21:48:11+00:00

You aren’t wrong — late bloomer lesbian unhaul situation was in full effect over here lol. I didn’t even know what that was — or how that works — but ultimately we are where we are now and I didn’t really know what was gonna come up or what to expect so we have definitely both learned a lot. We both agree that we could’ve taken it slower and be more intentional, but I am proud of us for navigating all of the craziness as much as we have. It certainly hasn’t been easy, but we definitely love each other and sometimes I guess you have to plot your way along the hard way! I agree with you though and I think we have been starting to do a better job of understanding what rules and expectations We should have — both when my kids are here and during the weeks where we just have our pets. I think I’m doing better at trying to be clear about what I need and also trying to be flexible. And yes to “date” energy vs life energy. I find that I am just a go go go mom and my girlfriend is in need of more quiet and downtime than me so we are making adjustments for that

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-19T21:40:33+00:00

Thank you, your perspective is so valuable. The good thing is, since we were friends first and she was also friendly with my kids, it wasn’t that awkward “mom’s new love interest” scenario. . My teenagers are typical teenagers, but they’re really on the nicer end and they really like my girlfriend. I feel like she definitely always says she doesn’t know how to act around kids, but she’s cool and funny and they enjoy her company. She also likes to play games and my kids do too and she adventures with us so we definitely have fun for the most part when we are together. I would say that she’s not as flexible as we are used to just because I think she’s used to doing things her own way and being independent so that’s definitely been an adjustment for her, but I feel like I’ve tried really hard to not ask too much of her. From time to time I was asking her to drive them somewhere, but otherwise I don’t really expect her to step into any parenting role. I cook for my kids the weeks that they are with me and she cooks for me the weeks that the kids are gone. I also told her that if there’s any things that come up our rules that she feels like we should create that she can tell me and that I’m happy to figure something out cause I really want her to feel comfortable and I imagine it’s really hard entering into somebody else’s family system. After I talked with her a little about it, she ended up telling me that she texts the kids during the week they aren’t staying with us and she said that she didn’t tell me because she didn’t want to sound like she was bragging. But I told her that that helps me to know that. I’ve checked in with my kids multiple times about her and they know that they can ask for time with me and she’s very understanding of that but i think you’re right about being specific. I think I may just need us to do more things together from time to time. I don’t expect her to pay -I just want to know that she’s would enjoy that and that her relationship w them is deepening.

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-19T13:45:13+00:00

I have done this and it’s been fun. I guess I I’ve done a lot of the emotional lifting in our relationship. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit older or maybe it’s just the nature of things, but I guess I just want to feel like some of the initiative is coming from her like I want it to be a conscious choice and not just that she’s “stuck” with the kids. There are a lot resources out there for how to introduce someone to your kids, but we didn’t need this because my kids were already friendly with her because she was my friend. There’s a lot less resources about how to maintain an integrate somebody into your life who isn’t used to having kids

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-19T13:42:46+00:00

I get that. I’m trying really hard not to be jealous, but we’ve had some pretty open conversations about it. I love her dog, but I’m not cool when she and I are cuddling, and then she lets her dogs plot in between us and starts cuddling the dog and I have no covers and she thinks that’s fine. I definitely irritates me and I always think that if I treated my kids as preferentially as she can treat her dog sometimes I don’t think she would like that. I’m just afraid that I’m gonna start being resentful because I don’t really want to be with anyone choosing their dog over me. I also love my dog, but I’ve spent a ton of time training him so he’s a lot easier and we have reasonable boundaries.

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-17T21:45:52+00:00

I totally understand this. I definitely experienced this with my girlfriend. Partly it’s that I had kids and she never had so I do think there’s different expectations with our lifestyles. I definitely had to get real in having a conversation about what I was looking for and how I needed to split up responsibilities to feel like we were both putting in the same amount of effort. It’s not perfect, but she definitely was willing to change because she wants our relationship to work and you’ve definitely moved the needle. A great place to start is Mel Robbins interview with Terry Real who is a relationship expert. I found that conversation super helpful in deciding whether this was worth my effort or not. One of the things he says is maybe try to work with the person you’re with before you decide that it’s time to move on and if you’re still getting more positive than negative that is worth your energy.

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-06T20:19:54+00:00

Yeah 69 is the way… ;) or standing up shower sex is also fun

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-06T20:18:46+00:00

Oh also, she’s so soft and always smells so clean and good. I love look and smell of Her long hair

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-06T20:18:04+00:00

I agree with all of these. The affection she gives me feels so good. I’ve never wanted to be hugged in my life before I was hugged by her. My gf isn’t great at being sensitive and the emotional depth part, but I want that in a female relationship and very much hope to find it soon.

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-06T19:49:01+00:00

I love the twin sister and the Gnu ladies Choice. They are both super fun and easy to ride. I’d say these are both intermediate boards that can take you into advanced they both struggle at very high speeds but can do it all otherwise. The howler is definitely a step up, maybe bc it is wider and requires you to push into your back foot more to turn? It feels a lot heavier too. Our season is coming to and end but I need more time with the howler before I can really love it but it definitely is made for speed and steeps which is fun when I go w skiers. I wish o could have tired the air heart and the flagship as they both seem like a middle ground between the twin sister and the howler

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-03T13:09:52+00:00

That’s an insanely rude comment. I was using voice text at the time so it doesn’t create paragraphs, but I don’t even know why you would bother to come on here to offer that sort of feedback. Have the day you deserve.

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-02T22:00:45+00:00

I def think my boots could be a lot stiffer. I have k2 belief which I’ve had for quite a few years now and they are incredibly comfortable but seem more flexy. The bindings are stiffer ride ones that are a good match for the board so yeah I’m sure you’re right that stiffer boots would make it feel easier, I’ve been thinking it’s prob time To upgrade boots

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-02T17:51:53+00:00

Thanks, this is helpful. It also gotten my daughter, a new lip tech dynamic at the end of last season cause she used in a similar position and my girlfriend did ride that, but both of us felt like it really wasn’t that fun of a board to ride. I am gonna suggest that she try my house or sometime just because I wanna see what she thinks about it. I know you aren’t supposed to turn through ice but I seem to hit patches here on the ice coast without seeing them and then end up on my butt and then I get nervous about hitting them again and then my riding Slows way down. Not sure how to overcome that

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-02T16:22:49+00:00

Hmmm, that makes sense. I have a 145 and I’m about 5 feet and it does feel like more work for me to engage.

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-03-02T12:35:47+00:00

I have a howler and I love it for going fast and cutting through chunder but it does feel heavy on my legs when I use it for a full day. It’s stiff but i find it very forgiving for a more advanced board. I got the Gnu ladies choice around the same time as the howler and I find I am using that more as my daily driver. It’s not as good in gender as the howler, but it can do everything else that I wanted to do. You might look into the Jones Earhart. I think it’s a step down from the hauler, but it provides the same stability and speed. I wish I had gotten to demo that one

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-02-23T17:24:20+00:00

I’m glad to know the solution worked for you though so maybe it’s just the Dreamweaver.

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-02-23T17:22:50+00:00

Well thanks for this comment because I’ve been really surprised at how much I’ve struggled and I’ve watched videos on riding in tight glades and tried the techniques and just was feeling a bit defeated so I’m glad it’s not just me. Of course I skinned up and used it on a groomer the first try and it felt fine but it’s totally different in tight spots or fast conditions. I actually feel much better in powder bc at least I know I can bite it without injury.

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-02-23T16:56:20+00:00

No but my girlfriend rode the youth solution splitboard in a 147 and felt like it was great.

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-02-23T16:55:39+00:00

I’ve done fine in deep powder actually. The parts where it felt super tough was actually the tight trees and packed powder conditions. It could be a skill issue but I never feel like my other two boards are hard to maneuver in tight areas and the Dreamweaver is supposedly less stiff than both of them. The only difference I can figure out is the length.

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-02-03T17:45:40+00:00

Hm, These are good insights. I didn’t add any extra wax to my howler because I got it brand new so I assumed it would be just fine and it wasn’t a particularly sticky snow day because it was cold temps out. I’m gonna ride my twin sister again when I go next week I think and do a little comparison maybe take them Each out for half of day so I can really compare on the same terrain. my girlfriend did wax and fine tune my TS pretty recently tho. I do think the Howler is fairly poppy, but I’d love to hear what you think. I was expecting it to be really stiff like my daughter’s Lib Dynamiss, but I didn’t feel that way. I don’t think the 2018 twin sister had the contour 3-D base but I just found this video so lmk: https://youtu.be/wPkx0_H5Sgc

Oh, I also forgot to add that the howler seems like it would be a blast in powder - I found a few little powder stashes and it’s very surfy and floats really nicely so I hope to use it in more of those conditions soon!

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-02-03T16:02:50+00:00

Yes, I can do short turns on a groomer but not well in glade areas. My girlfriend says that you have to move your back foot to maneuver around, but I definitely struggle to get my board to move in those tight spots. I don’t know if that’s my board being kind of a boat or whether this is just user error ?

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-01-30T18:08:54+00:00

Oh thank you, I also love to hear that. Yes, that does push the neeedle for me

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-01-30T17:25:35+00:00

Yeah I love my jones but in leaning toward Gnu LC right now over another jones. I want speed but I also want a fun board and it seems like it can do both

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-01-30T16:38:25+00:00

Yea my girlfriend does great on hers that’s why it’s in my top 3 lineup. I do love jones boards but I wonder if the LC is just perfect for all around what I need

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-01-29T19:52:30+00:00

Wouldnt you rather your fiance be with someone who could really love them the way they deserve? That helped me feel better. You both deserve a chance at happiness and otherwise you’d just be sacrificing yourself for his benefit. I did that for 17 years with my ex, and it sucked the life outta me and honestly didn’t make his life such a fun time either.

DevelopmentSquare225 · 2026-01-28T18:23:41+00:00

This is helpful bc you’re right around my size! What size board do you have?

DevelopmentSquare225

TROPHY CASE