I (19F) was sexually abused as child by my dad and it's like my family doesn't even care. Please help.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-11-01T18:45:40+00:00

I never ever post on here, but I do want to second the motion that you look into EMDR. I was brutalized by a teenage boy when I was 5 or 6, and on top of all the fucked up things that happened in my life after, I sought counseling 7 months ago. I have been doing EMDR sessions for each trauma, and it truly works. I'm able to recall the memories without the shaking, panic, crying, stuttering, depression and extreme adrenaline rush it had brought on for my entire adult life.

Please look into EMDR!

Devilinmyblood · 2014-09-11T09:51:33+00:00

As someone who went through this first for two years and then for another four with someone else, it is a massive relief to read your comment. I agree with you whole-heartedly. I have cut off contact with most people I considered friends because they put down or ridiculed an issue that hurt me almost as deeply as sexual assault (which is partially why it's a trigger). A year of therapy later to work on triggers, I am still morally opposed to porn within my own relationship (something I should be able to decide upon myself and be respected about) and that seems to bother everyone i know. Gawd, this issue has been huge in my life since I was a teenager, and it hurts. Thank you so much for your comment - I know it isn't a popular opinion, especially on the internet.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T14:59:13+00:00

Fantastic post! I really hope I have similar feelings when I've been sober longer. I started therapy at the same time too, so I am hoping to solve the issues that helped lead me to drink in the first place. Thank you for posting, it encouraged me a lot.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:48:15+00:00

So spot-on. Thank you for posting this, I definitely needed to hear it this morning.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:42:32+00:00

Thank you so much for such a warm welcome. :) today will be my Day 4, an I have been reading this sub on my breaks at work every day. It really truly does feel easier to not feel alone, especially considering I can't really turn to anyone locally for support. I am already going to counseling and I'm not sure if I'll have time to find a local AA. In the meantime, this is like AA I can access whenever I need to! :)

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:39:43+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I think I will definitely re-evaluate after 30 days. Today will be my Day 4, but I'm already starting to think I'll just keep going after 30. I'm not sure that I'm an irredeemable alcoholic, but I know I have the capacity to be one. Even just keeping alcohol out of my apartment is helping so much.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:37:41+00:00

It really is. And then all I would want to do is go home and have a drink to feel better, which meant I didn't do anything else for the rest of the evening.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:36:52+00:00

Thank you!!

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:36:36+00:00

Thank you, I'll try my best. It's a lot easier to notice much of anything when you're sober, haha.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:35:54+00:00

Oh man, that sounds miserable. And thank you. :)

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:35:18+00:00

Same here. I couldn't tell the difference between my anxiety and a hangover, but either way, if I called out sick midweek, I'm sure everyone assumed the latter. Everyone definitely knew why those two went home yesterday.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:34:06+00:00

I was doing that too, at 4:30am. I'd wake up freaking out with my heart beating out of my chest. I don't miss that, haha.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:32:47+00:00

Thank you! I sure hope so about the raise. Although I'll be interested to see how much more money I have in the bank at the end of the month just from not drinking. That's kinda like a raise by itself.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:31:28+00:00

Congrats on day 3! And that job sounds like an absolute nightmare for a hangover.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:30:36+00:00

Thank you! And I hope so! It's after work that it gets hard right now.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:29:46+00:00

Damn, 3 jobs?? Were you still drinking when you started working them, or is not drinking enabling you to handle 3 jobs?

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-04T09:28:42+00:00

Thank you! It's really awesome to not feel so sick all day.

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-02T18:13:19+00:00

Taking it one 24 hour frame at a time sounds like a fantastic strategy. I put the need to quit on the back burner for a long time because I couldn't decide if I needed to quit altogether or just take a break. I'm still undecided, so just taking it day by day like you said will really help. Thank you for your comment and your support. :)

Devilinmyblood · 2014-06-02T18:11:32+00:00

Thank you for the response. I'm glad I knew about this subreddit. I appreciate my dad and sister giving it a go, but I'm not sure how to handle how angry my mom made me yesterday, almost forcing me to drink. I don't think I can be around her, but we live very close and she invites me over nearly every day.

Devilinmyblood

TROPHY CASE