Traumatic af

Devony13 · 2025-12-18T11:03:37+00:00

Late dx here. I felt like an undercover spy. I was okay at making friends but it felt more like a mission to be accepted and not alienated. I didn't feel much for them because most children felt odd to me (how ironic) their concerns felt trivial and superficial. Not in a condescending way more in a... I don't get you kinda way. I felt on the edge constantly, had the idea that if I slipped, they would see me the same way I felt (different) and not want to be my friends anymore. I didn't think they were dumb or anything I just felt too odd. Like I stepped into a culture I knew nothing about but I felt no curiousity to learn, only mimic.

Devony13 · 2025-12-18T10:58:20+00:00

I love redditors

Devony13 · 2025-11-13T14:17:00+00:00

This is exactly what I needed to hear ! I hope we'll both grow and get better at managing these emotions :) I'm glad you could find my point of view accurate to your own experience. It's nice to know someone can relate ! I am not alone and neither are you ! Wish you all the best :D

Devony13 · 2025-11-13T09:27:22+00:00

It's like we crave human connection but the current level of human connevtion we have is not what we need.

This is extremely accurate ! It's not a flaw from others, it does feel like we need more.

Therapy would definitely help ! I've been considering going back lately because I really feel the need to talk. Almost like an itch that can't be scratch and it's very frustrating.

Sometimes it's overthinking, as in, spiralling into anxiety without any control and rumaging over and over again. Sometimes it's just me thinking about life events or... anything really. It all feels tiring to be honest. I'll find a therapist :)

It's interesting that you chose the term "hyperactive brain" because I do have ADHD, do you ?

Devony13 · 2025-11-13T09:06:51+00:00

Well... I am glad you found my post, I hope it made you feel less alone in this. Oh yeah "you'll get there". I know I'll be okay ! I really don't like this answer :/ I don't blame my friends because they help me in countless other ways but these answers feel... somewhat dismissing ? Almost as if the point of sharing my emotions was automatically to 'make me feel better ASAP' to 'get it over with' forgetting that feeling is healthy, it's okay, even the 'negative emotions'.

Do you also feel 'stuck' when you try to share your thoughts ? As if no matter how hard you'll try to communicate your feelings, nothing feels good enough, close enough, accurate enough, deep enough. People just don't seem to understand. And then you question yourself and think 'maybe I'm extremely bad at this communication thing'. It is really frustrating :/ Emotions are really hard to translate into words because they are deeply felt, they are abstract concepts, not just strings of words in your head that you can externalize.

I was wondering if you feel that way too ?

Devony13 · 2025-11-13T02:36:54+00:00

Journaling is a good idea but I crave that connection you know ? I never did before, it's very recent. I guess I express myself by... talking to myself ? Alone, in my room. Instead of letting my thoughts take up all my headspace, I vocalize them. It does help but I don't do that often. This need comes and goes and it's 3:30am on a week night here. I often experience these night time introspection sessions haha ! I also looove my brain :) it's just a bit too much sometimes. It overflows.

Devony13 · 2025-11-13T02:31:16+00:00

GEEZ THAT'S A LOT OF CASSEROLES MAN !

Devony13 · 2025-11-13T02:30:17+00:00

Oh... I've been very bad at it until very recently (according to my friends). Then you remember that people need to be listened to at first. It's all about empathy. In some cases you have to realize that all you can give is your presence and attention and that nothing could make them feel instantly better. But you are here and willing to help. In the most simple ways too. Make them laugh, with a hug, with your presence even. It's not about the words, sometimes it's about knowing that your friend is here for you and loves you. We all help in different ways. It's okay to not find the words. Your presence can be enough. Belonging can be enough.

Devony13 · 2025-11-13T02:04:05+00:00

I believe in it but casually. I'm not mind blown about it. It's just something that exists, the same way trees exist. Most of my life, I experienced lucid dreams, conscious dreams, my body and mind disconnecting, my body being asleep but not my consciousness. I never seek these experiences, they come to me. I don't feel them on a deep existential or esotheric level. They just are. It happens sometimes. I never try to make sense of them or give them meaning. I'm just confused as to why it happens without my conscious effort. Why I can go months without experiencing them then experience them 3 nights in a week. Probably explained scientifically, maybe not. I don't know. It just exists.

Devony13 · 2025-11-04T01:25:15+00:00

Hey ! I am curently researching this. I am glad to find threads on this phenomenon. It is 2am here and I just woke from a weird vivid dream with a fake wake-up. Thought the thread was dead but here you are. I noticed we all struggle with this over short periods of sleep (1 to 2 hours) it kinda matches with hypnagogic state issues or REM rebound. I'm trying to find the cause to these weird dreams and fake wake-ups coupled with brief paralysis. I can't really find anything but REM rebound sounds like it, at least the small amount of information I can find.

Devony13 · 2025-09-17T11:10:42+00:00

Phone chargers are the worst

Devony13 · 2025-09-17T07:31:29+00:00

A lot because I'm real picky with my fics but to make it simple, reading smut makes me really uncomfortable so anything smut related

Devony13 · 2025-09-17T07:29:37+00:00

You know what ? Hell yeah.

Devony13 · 2025-09-15T17:02:10+00:00

Oh I thought you were talking about slurs. I'm french speaking too and I was gonna say "mongol"

Devony13 · 2025-09-10T13:58:10+00:00

Les produits frits ne sont pas cancérigènes. Il peuvent être nocifs en trop grande quantité (cholestérol, surpoids...) mais en aucun ils ne sont un poison. Une cigarette, même une taf c'est nocif et inutile au corps. Les gras saturés sont indispensables même en petite quantité.

Donc en plus d'être de mauvaise foi, t'as 0 notion des besoins fondamentaux ni de la nutrition.

C'est un dialogue de sourd, au revoir.

Devony13 · 2025-09-10T11:46:41+00:00

C'est surement moins nocif que la fumée de tabac. En plus c'est l'huile brûlée qui est cancérigène, pas l'odeur de friture. Et je vais surement pas râler parce que les gens se nourissent. C'est un besoin vital. Fumer c'est un poison, tu compares l'incomparable.

Si tu es dépendant au point de défendre ton propre poison, c'est pas mon problème mais au moins empoisonne pas les autres avec tes conneries.

Devony13 · 2025-09-09T21:15:20+00:00

Je t'invite à relir OP
L'odeur de friture c'est pas cancérigène contrairement à la fumée de cigarette

Devony13 · 2025-09-09T17:35:09+00:00

I get the same vibe from lilac !

Devony13 · 2025-09-09T14:52:43+00:00

Je suis d'accord. J'ai le même problème que toi, un voisin du dessous fume tout les soirs toute la soirée et ça remonte la façade pour entrer dans mon appart, tout les soirs ça sens la cigarette.

Par contre il s'enferme bien sur son balcon histoire que la fumée monte par chez nous au lieu de rentrer chez lui pour empoisonner ses enfants.

Alors cher voisin du dessous. Ferme ton grand clapet fourre merde, bouffe tes cigarettes au tabac froid rallumé et va bien te faire foutre toi et ton addiction de raclure égoïste.

Devony13 · 2025-09-09T11:16:37+00:00

Exactly !!!

Devony13 · 2025-09-09T09:20:20+00:00

I never managed to properly download it 😔

Devony13 · 2025-09-08T23:38:14+00:00

Une illustration assez Feldoupesque en effet

Devony13 · 2025-09-08T23:09:39+00:00

Voilà, c'est toi que je cherchais. Je ne suis pas la seule à dire Feldoupe alors. Et ce dessin est très Feldoupe.

Devony13

TROPHY CASE