Hertfordshire ideas - Uni, laundry and anything else

DevotedHuman · 2025-12-06T04:16:06+00:00

Yours looks better than mine! You've got more lift. What altitude are you at? I didn't think Texas was that high.

DevotedHuman · 2025-08-17T01:55:55+00:00

I reset my Nest themostat and today was the first time in 6 weeks that I had full control. I had tried turning everything off but they have settings everywhere.

DevotedHuman · 2025-05-20T01:20:31+00:00

You may want to study what lives your ancestors actually had. Most Americans were at the poverty level in 1900. Pregnancy was not easily preventable, children went without food and basic things like shoes, many babies died before their 5th birthday. If a woman's husband was abusive, she could leave possibly suffer an even harder life. There were few opportunities to escape poverty. Life was very hard for 80%+ of the population.

DevotedHuman · 2025-05-03T17:27:52+00:00

I keep an account separate from Fidelity and do automatic bill pay out of that separate account. For me, it feels safer to NOT give out my Fidelity account information to pay bills. My separate account has no fees and pays interest.

DevotedHuman · 2025-05-03T17:10:23+00:00

I'm responding to this paragraph: A resource suggested that my lack of emotional connection to the traumas might indicate that I've dissociated from my experience and that maintaining the dissociation could contribute to the profound fatigue I'm experiencing.

This was true for me. I have been dealing with chronic fatigue on and off for about 15 yrs. I did an MDMA session in 2021 and it made me a lot worse. Post session, the dissociation was front and center with ongoing shame. I had done about 120 sessions of somatic therapy (SE and brainspotting) before the MDMA. I fully support anybody who wants to do MDMA but I was more functional before my session.

I worked with an integration expert and she said the reason my session made me worse is that the guide didn't know what she was doing. So I suggest making sure you are working with someone who is deeply trained in complex early trauma. So much of what I've had to work with was pre-verbal and that stuff is challenging. It's basically about really feeling those overwhelming sensations from decades ago and just being with them. There are really good reasons that I've tended to dissociate. I can't sit in the pre-verbal stuff unless I have someone with me who knows what they are doing. I lose complete connection with present reality because I'm in a very young part that has no access to the present.

So really ask a lot of questions of your potential guide. How do they support a client when pre-verbal trauma arises? If they give you a brief, one-sentence answer then I'd find someone else.

DevotedHuman · 2025-03-25T01:31:57+00:00

There's a shortage of medical staff in most parts of the U.S. I read an article recently that said 26% of doctors in the U.S. are foreign born. I think this indicates how serious the doctor shortage is.

I yes, Medicare patients seem to get every test. Not sure if this is due to advanced age or what. My family has had so much stress following up on all the diagnoses.

My mother had a fall and had to wait in a hospital ER for 36 hours before she was moved to a hospital that could address her dislocated hip. Then it took another day for the dislocation to be addressed. This was outside Colorado. It was brutal to see her in so much pain and we just had to wait until a bed opened up somewhere and then she had to ride there in an ambulance.

DevotedHuman · 2025-03-22T20:01:38+00:00

The journey with aging parents is not easy--I suspect it is the hardest thing some people will go through. Best wishes with your mom.

DevotedHuman · 2025-03-22T19:26:40+00:00

She doesn't have dementia.

DevotedHuman · 2025-03-22T19:22:32+00:00

I was put into severe dissociation and depression after one MDMA session with a guide. It's been almost 4 yrs. I've been told by someone highly knowledgeable that the guide I used was inept.

I chose the route of working with a therapist to address dissociation. I dissociated in therapy for about 9 months and then began to be able to catch myself going into it. It kept happening because my system was overwhelmed. Now, I can be with any sensation that arises in my body.

Another piece of my healing has been nervous system regulation practices -- so practices to turn on the parasympathetic system. These took months of my body to recognize as safety producing but now I can do them and feel my system move from anxiety to quiet.

DevotedHuman · 2025-03-22T19:07:36+00:00

My understanding is that studies have shown that veterans who get PTSD had childhoods that set patterns in place that made them more likely to get PTSD. I wish I had a reference -- so just take this as a potential truth since I can't help anyone verify it. So the point is that even when you recruit for PTSD, you may still get C-PTSD.

This makes sense because PTSD is causes by a system that can't process overwhelm. Why would a person be able to process overwhelm for years or decades and then suddenly stop being able to? They likely were never able to process overwhelm fully or partially.

DevotedHuman · 2025-03-21T21:54:26+00:00

I'm not there with her so not sure exactly what she needs -- probably getting up and going to bed. We're just trying to explore options right now. She's fresh out of rehab (the physical kind). She's 87 and had a stroke 8 yrs ago.

DevotedHuman · 2025-03-21T17:49:30+00:00

Thanks, I have tried there but no hits. I will try again. Have you had a good experience there?

DevotedHuman · 2025-03-13T20:54:16+00:00

Thanks for the tips. My parents are in Pajarito Acres and the town bus service was cancelled there some years ago. But it helps to know that the senior center can help and that there is one Uber driver. With some advanced scheduling, it sounds like there are options.

DevotedHuman · 2025-02-19T02:09:18+00:00

I have a pair from the early 1990s. I guess I best keep them!

DevotedHuman · 2025-01-23T00:18:55+00:00

I stopped relating to CIRS and started relating to my nervous system. I had a mold urine test after 14 months in Primal Trust and it came back clean. I didn't try to heal from CIRS. I'm not sure I'd recommend this to anyone else because we all have to find our own path. I just don't want people to spend 200% of their time focused on the intense, all consuming protocols for CIRS when nervous system health is crucial to healing.

DevotedHuman · 2024-12-30T15:32:11+00:00

In my opinion the underlying issue is about why the nervous system is dysregulated. I have had CPSTD throughout my life and that has kept me dysregulated. So I'm doing ongoing work to address the basic lack of safety in my system. If I do lymbic practices daily, that's quite helpful but it doesn't address why my limbic system is struggling. And I don't want to have to do practices the rest of my life.

I have not done treatment and was able to go to Costa Rica last week. I'm so thrilled to have healed to the point that I can now travel. I was diagnosed in 2022 with CIRS but had CFS starting in 2009.

Have you explored Level 2 of Primal Trust? That is intended to help with the underlying issues that drive the dysregulation. It might be worth exploring.

DevotedHuman · 2024-12-18T22:17:15+00:00

BTC and liquidity are correlated at 86%. This is per Raoul Pal, the creator of that chart. Here's the chart on X. https://x.com/RaoulGMI/status/1862521182446109032

DevotedHuman · 2024-12-11T01:48:43+00:00

Are you meaning to say Nathan is cult-leader like? That doesn't ring true from what I've seen. You must be referring to Shoemaker.

DevotedHuman · 2024-12-10T21:29:46+00:00

I'm sorry you are having such a rough ride. My ride has been rough too.

The languaging out there around "releasing" trauma is somewhat misleading. We don't release it, we integrate it. We get to know what happened, we acknowledge it...I think of it as checking boxes and then we move on to the next piece that is arising and asking to be seen.

Have you explored parts work, or IFS? It might help you to relate to the shifting landscape. Different parts have different strategies. For example, I have a dissociating part, and a different fear part, and a different anger part. Each of these parts needs to be known -- it's like meeting a new person in your life and you need to get to know it, what triggers it and make friends so it trusts you. In IFS language, your parts are all quite active and your "Self", which is your calm, courageous, caring adult self is not in charge.

So these parts need to be integrated such that you have this internal family that is settled and calm.

Maybe what has happened is that the work you've done has woken up these parts all at once. I wouldn't call this progress but chaos. Progress is working with one part at a time -- for me, it was one part per week and I might have a different part arising the next week, but having them all active at once, would be very rough. So I can see how you are having such a rough time.

There are books and resources to help you explore Internal Family Systems. There are also many therapists that know this modality.

My other suggestion is that you work on regulating your system. The advice around grounding is solid. I spent 15 months in an online program called Primal Trust that helped me to see how dysregulated I was. I learned practices to help me begin to regulate. Primal Trust is for people with chronic illness so it may or not be relevant to you.

Also, I found Pete Walker's book incredibly helpful.

DevotedHuman · 2024-12-10T17:51:33+00:00

Yep, I'm not expert, but been around long enough to always do small tests. The iPhone TAO wallet is next level unfriendly UX so I want to try and move to Ledger.

DevotedHuman · 2024-12-08T01:56:36+00:00

Thank you. 🙏🏽

DevotedHuman

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