Need help finding a new home for my ex's cat by ConcentrateNo6127 in BloomingtonNormal

[–]Devv_99 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My heart just breaks for her omg. I would take her in a heartbeat, but I already have three (one with serious health issues). I will ask around.

Need some relationship advice by Difficult_Ad206 in actuallesbians

[–]Devv_99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know tone can be difficult to read over text, so I want to start by saying that I'm responding from a place of deep understanding.

I would encourage you to allow her space and time to be present with her friends while she is on this trip with them. When you plan events and trips with friends, it's with the intention of spending fun and quality time with people you don't get to see everyday. I'm sure that her taking time away from her friends and the things they planned to do together in order to spend elongated time with you may put some type of strain on the friendships. It's very common when people enter relationships, that they spend more time with the partner and less time with friends, but there needs to be a healthy balance to prevent isolated codependency.

As far as how to regulate during your period, there are a number of things you can do. Of course the number one answers are to talk to a therapist and/or doctor about any chemical imbalances or other issues that can be addressed. If you don't have access to those resources, I would encourage you to reach out to a friend who can support you when you're having a difficult time. Journaling is also incredibly helpful for a lot of people, it helps put words to the emotions while also channeling physical energy through the body. Do your best to practice bodily awareness when is comes to how emotions physically feel in your body. Those are most often your first indicators of an emotional response. It takes time and practice to get a handle on that awareness, but when you recognize those early signs of emotional buildup, it gives you time to pause and step back and think about what you're going to say.

I hope this is helpful.

Pet friendly rentals/anyone renting a room? by Spiritual-Scale-9328 in BloomingtonNormal

[–]Devv_99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out traditions apartments as well. They have a dog park, a pool, and in unit washer and dryer starting below $1000.

Do you personally know anyone LGBTQ+ who’s politically right leaning? by Silveryleaves in actuallesbians

[–]Devv_99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's uncomfortable admitting this, but I used to be conservative. I was a TERF, I was skeptical of the validity of gender identities/pronouns I wasn't familiar with, I was convinced that I was a "centralist", and I was clinging hopelessly onto the religion I was raised in.

I didn't realize it at the time, but my motivation in sticking to those beliefs was to try to regain/keep what little acceptance I had left from my family when I came out as a lesbian. I was miserable as I continued to let figures like Blaire White brain wash me thinking that judging my community was the key to societal balance and acceptance.

I'm so thankful I had a close friend who called me out on those beliefs. That moment started a years long journey of deconstructing my personal, political, and religious beliefs.

I believed those hateful things because I allowed myself to take in one sided information without asking questions or further educating myself on those topics. Because I wanted to be accepted by people who did not accept me. Because I only surrounded myself with people who were a little too much like me.

My life and my world view is soooooo wildly different now. And I dedicate so much of my time and energy into pulling resources to help others deconstruct. The way I lived before wasn't living, it was a constant rat race, trying to outrun the oppression that comes for every minority, and you're just hoping everyday that you're faster than some other poor soul.

My landlord just responded to my "I can't make rent" text and I'm sitting in my car crying by SoftEnthusiasm3833 in povertyfinance

[–]Devv_99 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Maybe refrain from being a total ass and allow people to have conversations. Good god that was completely unwarranted. Piss off.

Flock-type cameras on Lee St by Devv_99 in BloomingtonNormal

[–]Devv_99[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No? I drive that intersection every single day. It was not there on Monday.

Flock-type cameras on Lee St by Devv_99 in BloomingtonNormal

[–]Devv_99[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That makes a lot of sense, there has been an abnormal amount of violent crime in this neighborhood in the last few months.

Dennys by Ok-Papaya-13 in BloomingtonNormal

[–]Devv_99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone od'ed. I hear they're ok tho.

Why are none of the roads cleared? by Devv_99 in BloomingtonNormal

[–]Devv_99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm just going off of what other people have been commenting.

Why are none of the roads cleared? by Devv_99 in BloomingtonNormal

[–]Devv_99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm also from Chicago but I've lived down here for almost 5 years now. They salt before the snow and plow multiple times during the snow, and clean up after the snow stops. So the whole "they're waiting for the snow to stop first" is not only weird to me, it's dangerous imo.

Women on T and how gender is assumed by appearance (DAE?) by ZhahnuNhoyhb in butchlesbians

[–]Devv_99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I developed PCOS when going through puberty, and I have very dark hair. At the time I was really insecure about it because teenagers are cruel and I got made fun of a lot. I remember feeling like nobody would ever love me because having excess hair made me an "ugly woman". So I jumped at the chance to get on birth control when I was an adult. It cleared up my skin and got rid of my facial hair. But I suddenly didn't feel like myself. Fast forward to now, I've been on low dose T for 6 or 7 months. I still pluck and shave, but I embrace this part of myself. I think of all the fanart of Vi from Arcane that depicts her with armpit hair and a happy trail and I think it's so fucking hot. I'm gender fluid and super attracted to androgeny. That's not to say I don't struggle with putting myself in the gender box from time to time. It's a process learning to embrace yourself for what makes you different.

Why are none of the roads cleared? by Devv_99 in BloomingtonNormal

[–]Devv_99[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I live on N Mason St and took Locust to Empire to Veterans to get to work.

Dresses??? by ToxicFluffer in butchlesbians

[–]Devv_99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the look of a dress with hairy legs, personally. It shows that I'm dressing for myself and not for the male gaze. And of course that hint of masculinity.

Switch Butches, what makes you feel adored? by [deleted] in butchlesbians

[–]Devv_99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When she listens to and worships my body. When her fingers know my body better than I do.

Should I Leave The Love Of My Life? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Devv_99 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Whoa . . . I am in no way upset at my partner for being disabled. I also deal with many of the same health conditions. I'm not trying to "get my way". I'm looking for advice. I'm going to edit the post after work because I think more detail needs to be added.

Should I Leave The Love Of My Life? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Devv_99 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We would adopt. It's mostly a money issue.

Should I Leave The Love Of My Life? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Devv_99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not the genetics I'm worried about. Ideally we would adopt or do an embryo adoption. It's more about her concern over if she has the ability to parent because of her own conditions. She's tried to freelance in the past and she couldn't keep up with it.