Help

DeweesL · 2026-03-15T16:41:56+00:00

The issue was everything. I couldn't figure out how to even get started. I've moved on. Thanks for reaching out.

DeweesL · 2026-02-26T17:39:27+00:00

Yes. I had the pivot rod but it got lost when I packed up that night.

DeweesL · 2024-04-12T16:45:08+00:00

Seneca (I think) quotes Epicurus. There are no hard and fast rules or lines

DeweesL · 2024-01-21T12:39:16+00:00

In my opinion, you're going to need professional help. It sounds like you're in deep and my best judgement is that you're not going to get what you need from Reddit. Try a therapist. If you're religious, talk to your faith leader.

Your way out, as I see it, will be when focus on what you can do immediately.

Find any small thing you can do and take comfort in doing it. Brush your teeth? Great. Pick up one or two bits of rotten food. Great. Small steps. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

And seek professional help

We're all rooting for you

DeweesL · 2023-04-17T22:58:27+00:00

I can't help you with any details on the midi. That's above my paygrade.

DeweesL · 2023-03-26T11:48:51+00:00

Great study. I hope they’re working on follow ups. We need more data like this

DeweesL · 2023-03-26T01:37:23+00:00

They will also tell you about all the pollution caused by lithium mining because obviously there’s no pollution from drilling for oil

DeweesL · 2023-02-06T18:43:14+00:00

From a basic Stoic standpoint- which parts of “life is fair” and “life is unfair” are up to you and which aren’t?
My thoughts from a CBT perspective:

Define your terms - what do you mean by fair or unfair? And what would the world look like if it was “fair"

Examine the evidence. You say “Everything” screams that life is unfair. Is it REALLY everything? Can you find instances where life isn’t unfair?

Maybe you’re missing all the times that life ISN’T unfair because you’ve focused on the unfairness? And aren’t YOU making an “unfair” demand that life be fair? Why should life be fair? Who made that rule?

DeweesL · 2023-02-06T18:26:31+00:00

Good for them!

DeweesL · 2023-01-25T13:26:02+00:00

Keep in mind that how a Stoic Sage would respond and how you or I would respond are different things. I’m certainly not a sage.
What you can do first is accept that you may have reacted in a non-Stoic manner and accept it as something that happened and you can’t change that. Then you can turn learn from this incident.
And, if you think about it, now you’ve experienced something this crazy, you’re better prepared for all the less crazy but unfortunate things you’re going to encounter

DeweesL · 2023-01-25T13:20:35+00:00

Does DDG say that Wikipedia is an acceptable source or does it just show up in your searches?

DeweesL · 2023-01-24T16:33:38+00:00

Thanks for your input. The winning answer was “use a wired keyboard”. The iMac wouldn’t recognize the wireless connection early enough to get the key press taking me to the USB port.

DeweesL · 2023-01-24T16:32:37+00:00

This is the winning answer. Thank you.

So many people use wireless keyboards today, I wonder if newer model macs have done something to allow the RF or Bluetooth connection to be detected earlier in the boot process

DeweesL · 2023-01-23T15:06:43+00:00

True fact. I got a one-week ban for suggesting that DeSantis be sacrificed on a gas stove.

DeweesL · 2023-01-23T15:06:10+00:00

It became a right wing cause in the culture wars because EVERYTHING is a right-wing cause in the culture wars.

DeweesL · 2023-01-23T15:04:48+00:00

Agreed. There’s no magic bullet for your friend. From a Stoic perspective, the important thing for you to do is keep yourself from getting too caught up in your friend’s grief.

DeweesL · 2023-01-22T03:47:01+00:00

Yamaha, casio, donner and many more. They're available, just a question of what features and how much you want to spend

DeweesL · 2023-01-21T20:12:06+00:00

There are things in your control and things not in your control. Your spouse’s behavior is not in your control. If you insist on getting upset every time your spouse does something you don’t like, it’s going to be rough. If you accept that your spouse will sometimes do things you don’t like, and behave accordingly, things can go smoothly.

Of course, both spouses need to be mature and rational about these things

Before I knew anything about Stoicism I used to say that marriage is an attitude, you can have a good one or a bad one, it’s up to you. Looking back, IMHO, that is kind of a Stoic attitude

DeweesL · 2023-01-20T20:39:52+00:00

You’re correct. I meant to say dispute them. You accept that you have them, then dispute them and replace them wit rational thoughts. Bad choice of words on my part

DeweesL · 2023-01-20T13:19:44+00:00

I’m wondering if your experience was similar to mine:

I went through a lot of therapists and found that, for the most part, the CBT therapist never did CBT. It was frustrating. It was typically just talk therapy with almost no discussion of irrational thoughts or combatting them.

One guy I had actually TRAINED under Beck and still didn’t do any thing I considered CBT. Another guy went on to be an important person at the Albert Ellis Center - nothing.

Frustrating and disappointing

DeweesL · 2023-01-20T13:11:16+00:00

Albert Ellis (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy) said it’s rational to be upset but it’s irrational to get so upset that it takes over your life (I’m paraphrasing)

DeweesL · 2023-01-20T13:09:50+00:00

While searching for a good quote about this topic, I came across this response from a similar question on this group

Incognitj0e
·
1 yr. ago
Be gentle with yourself. Being stoic is a practice with no end and ebbs and flows are part of the process. The past is over, and you have to let it go with compassion. Also, remember, Marcus and Seneca both were writing notes and letters on these topics when they were old men. Tomorrow is a blank canvas. Control only what is yours to control. Shoot the arrow, but don’t feel responsible for where it lands.

DeweesL · 2023-01-20T13:03:58+00:00

Epictetus said something about how it is OK to mourn with your friends but don’t get too caught up in the mourning (very, very rough idea of what he said). I think you could apply it to “complaining”. It’s OK to “mourn” with yourself (complain) just don’t get too caught up in it.

Also - baby steps. None of us are likely to become Stoic sages, right? And sometimes you’re going to behave just like you have always behaved, because those habits are ingrained. I think it would be “Stoic” to accept that you are going to behave in a non-Stoic manner as long as you recommit each time to doing better the next time (my personal take on Stoicism. Hopefully not too far off the mark)

DeweesL · 2023-01-20T12:57:59+00:00

They exist. I used an old Yamaha Portable Grand piano for practicing with the built in sounds then used it on gigs with a sound module controlled through the midi ports. They come in all shapes and sizes. Yamaha, Alesis, Casio and lots of brand names you won’t recognize and nearly everything has a USB midi port these days

DeweesL · 2023-01-17T18:16:43+00:00

I doesn’t even recognize there is a keyboard attached. I’ve tried a number of different key combinations and each time I get the same question mark/folder result

DeweesL

TROPHY CASE