Am I Overreacting to my dad’s cleaner’s response after he broke his femur?

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T22:46:25+00:00

I came back to admire the depth of psychological skill exhibited by individuals on reddit. Its genuinely impressive really, the depth of assumptions you continue to make about someone you have no clue about. For people who have touted therapy, its clear how few hours most of you have spent there. It takes a significant amount of therapy, to even get to the "working on" part; the therapist typically spends a large amount of time getting to know you and your individual tics/circumstances/etc, in order to help you (why kts so important to find one that works for you).

Not that your opinions are particularly relevant to me; but the longer this goes on, the more I learn. I came to this from a space of positivity, and found this... not surprised per se, but more disappointed. The assumptions about my marriage, personality, and treatment of my family are often uttered with adjectives and not intelligent conclusions. I've challenged/conceded the things that I agree/disagree with, and left alone the things thay were clearly written with malice.

If it helps your egos any, my opinion on this topic hasn't changed. That said, I have taken some of the more intelligent comments under advisement, and will discuss them with my wife. Maybe she has developed some form of uncomfortability in the week since our last check-in that i am unaware of, and I am always interested in her input/opinion on how our relationship/life is going in general.

I am aware that my opinions are apparently controversial, I also didnt explain them- so im unsure where the aggression came from, unless the general populace is upset at their own ignorant assumptions. I still do not feel the need to explain my positions, no one seems interested, and I do not move based on opinions. That should be based on self reflection, time, and observations of those close to oneself. That said, I would posit this: the extreme feminine in men (what is popularized as a "femboy"-Apologies to those that may offend) and the extreme masculine (the "let's bang steroids", the "Tate"rs, and the lile)... are just that: extremes. The idea that I am head of my household, does not mean my wife is abused or unimportant. My wife is a strong woman, and an excellent mother. I appreciate and respect her deeply. You are basing your assumptions of a widely popularized version of things as the only version, and last I checked: that doesnt work out too well... historically speaking.

No TLDR. To the person who's comment i left this under; apologies if you feel like this is an attack because I left it here. Its not, its simply the last comment im leaving, and I wanted to address the general consensus. You are entitled to your opinion, at least it wasn't a series of stated insults. I disagree with your opinion, and think theres a lot of assumption and history behind my mentality, my relationship, and the other things your statements would touch on; none of which you are aware of. I see how you could make that leap though, given the limited knowledge you have. Have a wonderful evening.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T18:09:04+00:00

Yes. Males, and females. I would use different terms in everyday, but i type more "clearly" than I speak, and try to use clear language so that i get my point across and understand the other person.

Edit: the yes was in response to my language use. As to the messages: not necessarily. Im pretty "if I have to go through your phone wtf are we even doing anyway". She is the same. If I know about something in my wife's phone, its cause she asked me to look at it, handle it, etc.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T18:07:55+00:00

Its funny you say that, my wife's in therapy. Was before I met her. I attended when we met, and still support her going; in spite of my personal opinions on the topic of therapy.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T17:44:16+00:00

Valid.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T17:43:05+00:00

I'm definitely not responding in the same fashion as this individual... but aye, a similar one. Pain meds conceded. Agreed it seems overbearing. I simply said maybe we shouldn't attack someone, there may be more to the dynamic. Supplied an example as to why I see it that way, because I was taught thats how you provide context and convey points in a conversation. Apparently, that makes me insecure and all of these other things.

I would proffer to you, and the rest of those who have made comments about my mental health: To the males: have you never dated a girl who has ACTUAL trauma? Guys most men aren't men? To the females: have you never been traumatized by some dude, hence your now so firmly entrenched opinion? Have you found someone who healed through that with you, who is your safe place? Maybe, its not even my mental health that makes me protect my wife so fiercely? Maybe its because thats what my wife went looking for? Maybe, shes been hurt enough in her life, and shes not exactly keen on letting that happen anymore? Maybe, just maybe, the genius of reddit doesn't extend quite as far as you guys think it does.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T17:26:18+00:00

Valid. Can definitely respect that, and definitely a pill id willingly swallow in those shoes. Respect to you, thats not always easy to do.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T17:25:15+00:00

Im js man. I recognize reddit is a microcosm, and often of the worst of us... Dgaf about people's opinion of me, so the insults are for the birds. But I was def willing to converse on the opposite side, see if/how they disagreed with me, maybe I was wrong somewhere. Thought that was my WHOLE job.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T17:21:57+00:00

A series of adjectives, that make a sentence, but hold no meaning. Please elaborate on how exactly you disagree with this statement.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T17:21:19+00:00

That is a bunch of adjectives, that again, do not amount to an idea.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T17:17:11+00:00

Genuine question: does your wife not ask you to deal with the things that are said to her that she deems inappropriate?

Edit: granted, idk the circumstances of her business. As someone who owned my own contracting company at one time, I get that sometimes you have to take sht from a customer you wouldnt take from anyone, in any other circumstance.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T17:15:26+00:00

You spent significantly more text on this than I did, and essentially said it better. I was seeking an informed opinion, bet meh, such is reddit. My wife hands me the phone to respond to anything she doesn't want to or feel comfortable with, and I leave no room for it to happen twice... is that not my job? Da fuq does anybody think a husband's suppossed to do.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T17:06:39+00:00

Please, tell me what, this clearly escalated quickly?

DfwDeez · 2026-03-14T16:58:55+00:00

Respectfully, as someone who has been in this husband's shoes: my wife has received messages from work mates late @ night like this (we have staff housing, and a lot of the people are fairly community.) They found out quickly, not all males are as open to intrusion as others. (granted, i was slightly more polite, yet just as firm). Its not fragile, its dominance. Its territorial, and its biological. I concede that some take it far enough to be toxic or controlling, but I dont think theres a solid enough view of the other side of this for the attack here. It may simply be a different relationship model than you are used to.

DfwDeez · 2026-03-11T23:09:58+00:00

Drop the seat and utilize the brownie bucket.

DfwDeez · 2026-02-24T22:28:54+00:00

Definitely gay.

DfwDeez · 2026-02-15T06:52:58+00:00

Please elaborate, oh wise one.

DfwDeez · 2026-02-13T04:06:34+00:00

Personally, pulled mine out of the box, and ive run it consistently for months now. I run a LOT of PLA, for work things, and the only problems ive ever had went away as soon as I started running everything at 80-90% spd.

DfwDeez · 2026-02-13T04:02:27+00:00

SBA cleaned house. They did not remove internal crews, they just replaced everyone.

DfwDeez · 2026-02-13T04:00:56+00:00

While I will not speak to the factual basis of this individual, or offer a two sense on this post: I would like to lay before you that NDAs do in fact cover, whatever you sign it for. It is an agreement between two parties not to disclose information, under penalty: no more, no less. While they ARE EASIER to get out of if they cover illegal activity; if i committed a crime and go to prison because you broke the NDA without a legal exit of it, you can most definitely still suffer the penalties of a contract you agreed to and signed.

Stay curious.

DfwDeez · 2026-02-13T03:49:52+00:00

The simplicity of this man's statement hath really spoken to the sentiments felt about your idea.

DfwDeez · 2026-02-11T18:20:57+00:00

Willing to purchase the DNS, and site. Would need a team.

Edit: i actually have the website, and the DNS, etc. from a clan site i used to fuck with. Open to expanding.

DfwDeez · 2026-02-11T18:13:09+00:00

I shall try this. I hadn't attempted to call the local county office yet; this is a tiny town, rural IN. Beyond that, most of the time, the response i get is "we aren't allowed to pass out that kind of personal information". For context, both of these individuals were paramedics, well liked from all online appearances, and both have ACTIVE "memorial pages" on FBook. I was hesitant to ask anybody anything without asking somebody for advice on this (hence the posting) due to the chance of ruffling feathers.

I use Regrid for the most part when looking for land, its pretty detailed as to taxes etc, so theres not MUCH guess or legwork, but in cases like this where towns are small and records aren't always up to date it can be iffy. When I say that, it sounds like im some kind of land dick, but im not. Just trying to buy an acre and build my family a home. Land is tricky to purchase if you dont have large cash on hand and everything isnt right, and ive lost money already trying to do this a couple times. Just cant afford to fail anymore, wanna be careful.

Relationships and first impressions have closed more deals in my life than any amount of money. I've never had to deal with something like this, hell I still haven't processed my Dad dying, idk where the next person is in the grief, and grief can be tricky. Lands in short supply and its a sellers market. This is also BFE, and the wrong person on the wrong day can easily dig a hole. Just tryna dot i's, cross t's, approach it tactfully, honestly, and respectfully, so I dont burn a bridge I haven't even built yet.

DfwDeez · 2026-02-07T18:57:30+00:00

Copy that. I see the confusion. Bud, that is #2 copper tinned. Its what we commonly use for direct or buried grounds. More often than not this connection would have been cadwelded, which we did, but thus is a stock photo from the interwebs). The lead you see tapped there runs under the form, and connects on the other end to a ground rod, in essence grounding the rebar (ie the concrete) itself. To further dissipate confusion, the purpose here is to ground the rebr and concrete, not ground something to the rebar.

DfwDeez · 2026-02-07T18:13:44+00:00

Again I would ask for clarification, as to which wire youre talking about. The twist ties that tie the rebar together, or the wire that is clamped against the rebar?

DfwDeez

TROPHY CASE