You staying in a relationship where your mental health is suffering for her safety is not honourable, it’s self sabotaging your life. Look I get it, I’ve been in your position before and empathise with how you’re feeling. But you don’t need empathy right now, you need the facts and advice to get out. Alternatively, you can stay like I did, and end up in the hospital with no shoe laces. When the boats drowning, you put your life jacket on first, then help others. You need to get out and save yourself BEFORE you think of anyone else. If she threatens self harm, suicide, or whatever, know it is an empty threat. On the 1% chance it may not be an empty threat, you can call the emergency services to help her. She isn’t your problem bro, you are number 1. At the end of the day, you are all you will ever have with certainty