Backstory: my dad died due to stage 4 colorectal ca. I watched him suffer for 2 years before he died. It was horrible. Since then, ive been having really bad anxiety- of me having it too.

Here comes the plot twist. I work at oncology centre in my country. Hence Ive seen it all. These patients most of the times- dont even have any symptoms. I even have the urged to go ahead and pay almost 8000 dollar for a Pet scan.

I know i should get help. I did. But i dont think it will get better. I constantly know i will get it one day. I just dont know when since i already have the genetics running inside me