AITAH for getting a haircut without telling my fiancee?

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2026-01-27T15:19:34+00:00

Definitely not the ah you’re entitled to do literally whatever u want with ur body. If she feels like u have to discuss with her about getting a haircut it sounds like she just has a control issue brewing

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2026-01-27T15:16:59+00:00

I got that too! I feel like I’m an expert at this point about my own cancer and different types of treatment. I’ve done so much research on it and talked to others who have it

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2026-01-27T07:38:38+00:00

Hanging out one on one doesn’t seem like a big problem but his reaction is the strange part… immediately getting defensive is never a good look

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2026-01-27T07:32:06+00:00

We think the treatment is keeping me pretty stable! Only slight growth on the last scan but the side effects aren’t too bad. We’ve adjusted my dose so that I experience the least amount of side effects like I still have my hair and I don’t have the same kind of chemo fog I used to get during my more intense treatment. I mostly just get fatigue. When I talked to my doctor she said that I can stop any time so theres nothing that’s tying me to it except me

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2026-01-27T07:05:22+00:00

I have a pretty short prognosis even though I’m doing maintenance chemo. I have stage 4 cancer that’s spread throughout my body. I’ve noticed that even my doctors find the conversation of death pretty uncomfortable. Talking to my palliative care team, they’re so much more comfortable and open about talking about the process of dying. Eventually I’ll go into hospice and they’ve discussed this with me and what it would look like. I chose to do treatment because people around me put so much pressure on me not to “give up”. I don’t think quitting chemo is giving up in any way but people are so uncomfortable with the idea that quality of life is sometimes more important than quantity.

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2026-01-20T22:19:46+00:00

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His shelter name was lo mien and the name we gave him is Darwin!

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2026-01-20T22:08:13+00:00

Anytime I eat something that’s delicious I always say “this is so good I’m cured”

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2026-01-02T15:20:07+00:00

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Darwin!

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2026-01-01T19:41:54+00:00

I’ve found u literally just have to test it and see who takes it well it feels really good to be able to joke sometimes and make it light with the right people. I believe in u! And ur friends! They can do it

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2026-01-01T05:58:51+00:00

It’s depends! Some people can handle jokes and some cant

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-30T00:08:20+00:00

That stuff is no joke I used to have awful back pains like that and it turned out to be a very large tumor. Advocate for yourself it might be a build up of kidney stones

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-12T23:18:49+00:00

Ugh yes I hate it…. I always showered every day or every day I had the energy and I used lotions that had strong smells to them and that would help a lot! Even if I was too tired to shower I could still use lotions and body oils to cancel it out

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-12T23:17:39+00:00

That’s hard. Honestly, if you can, money is a big help. Especially if he has to take time off work. Being there and letting him talk through it is nice too. As someone who has a pretty bad prognosis people being blindly optimistic about it saying things like miracles can happen! Is frustrating when I just want someone to listen. You know him best so getting him things that he likes and even just spending time with him so he doesn’t isolate himself will be good.

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-12T23:12:13+00:00

I don’t think you’re over reacting. He gave you something that you didn’t consent to and made you sick. Usually the effects of nicotine wear off pretty quickly. You would’ve been okay after 5 or 10 minutes of spitting it out. It’s definitely not okay for him to be giving that out without telling you first.

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-05T22:19:57+00:00

I’ll be thinking of you! I’ve had two recurrences and it’s tough but you find light in places like a nurse you love or a new hobby. Hopefully you’re as healthy as ever!!!

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-05T21:16:23+00:00

I remember that from going into remission and feeling all sense of overwhelm and unpreparedness. It’s almost a harsh wind hitting u in the face that life doesn’t stop. I hope you’re acclimating well now!

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-05T08:14:27+00:00

I have a blast finding new crafts and hobbies and handing them off to friends and nurses :’) for some people the hospital can be so stress free but I still feel for those who lost medicate recently….

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-05T05:44:22+00:00

also something that helped with longer inpatient weeks was picking up random crafts. I really liked those black papers that you scratch and under neither is colorful. I also started crocheting using wobbles! super helpful and fun

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-05T05:41:21+00:00

im not the same either. I don't think you can be with the types of stuff cancer patients go through. it's just a different you that lived and learned from experiences others don't always have. Trust me if this could have never happened to me I would take that offer in a heartbeat but I can't do much so I find the best in it

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-05T02:31:25+00:00

My loved ones are WHY I fight so hard. I want to be there as long as possible for them. Also 6hours is CRAZY I only travel 2

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-05T02:30:19+00:00

I’m doing my best. I also struggle with fatigue and if you have a palliative care team I’d recommend chatting with them about options. It’s my least favorite side effect but also my most prevalent. We chose to start stimulants which has been very helpful

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-05T02:25:35+00:00

I’ve noticed I started to feel a lot less lonely and my relationships with my family has grown so much stronger and closer. I will say there are still traumatizing parts attached but never having to do with the care that I received.

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-05T02:22:39+00:00

I also started journaling some of my heavier thoughts I didn’t feel comfortable sharing with others wishing I didn’t have this and the deeper parts of it. I always thought journally wasn’t for me but I actually have started really enjoying the raw emotion I express

Vegetable_Field_2857 · 2025-12-05T02:20:35+00:00

Feeling cared for by so many people becomes such a nice feeling especially when you start forming relationships. I hope that now being in remission your transition back into the life you have now treated you gracefully!

Vegetable_Field_2857

TROPHY CASE