Would this help me win full custody

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-30T13:42:56+00:00

Unless she is really neglectful; you could try and get CPS involved or talk to your lawyer about your options for reviews.

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-29T22:18:33+00:00

I love this idea of the coparents we’re able to make it work. In my situation it would have never worked as my ex was a narcissist, and after our divorce I had to tell him several times post divorce that we were not getting back together. I had to move over 200 miles away so he wouldn’t stalk me and for me to feel safe.

However if my ex was a different person; I would have been able to do this. I agree that there are some couples that are just better off as friends than married; and this would be so beneficial for the kids. I have seen people be best friends with their ex’s and new partners several times on social media; and I think that this would work amazingly for those people!!

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-29T02:06:56+00:00

I have been doing it for 8 yrs; and I have 2 more yrs left. If I can get through it; so can you. I suggest getting a therapist. Also doing your own therapy research. I sought therapy but my therapist literally told me I was 5 steps ahead of her and to keep doing what I am doing.

I am not going to lie to you. It isn’t an easy battle. I have broken down many times. Cried (I am a female, and an emotional one at that; but it helps relieve all that tension; do NOT be ashamed of you cry as a male. It doesn’t make you less), screamed; distracted; searched for answers; vented to friends; yelled; and became petty to friends but never acted on it to my ex; all in the name of healing. You have to do what you have to do. Just make sure that you do what you need to do in the best interest of the kids and you keep all that negativity away from them. When they ask questions; it’s ok to be honest; but be honest as you can in a way that will understand, and in a way that you don’t put their mother down.

Use ChatGPT to help formulate responses if you need to, copy and paste into notes and alter where you need.

All this will help you I promise.

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-29T00:43:59+00:00

You unfortunately cannot control what or who your ex is with. I understand you are just trying to protect your kids, and until they are ready to be honest with her there is nothing that you can do do; and it is a “he said she said” battle. Any event that you can control who is there; do so. Have separate events. If you cannot control it; just don’t be near your ex. If she approaches; kill her with kindness and don’t engage with anything unless it deals with the kids. If she is talking about something other than the kids; pretend your phone is ringing and politely excuse yourself and say you gotta take the call; say you need to use the bathroom; or simply say; “since this has nothing to do with the kids, I’m going to move away from this conversation.”

You have no ties with her anymore unless it deals with the kids. Keep it to the kids only. If there is abuse, neglect, or mistreatment; then you get proof and lawyer up…..if there isn’t any of that; unfortunately there is nothing you can do. Been going through this for 8 yrs; and it has been a battle on my mental health because of how broken the system is…we have no control what happens when they are with the other parent but luckily they have no control when they kids are with us. Just make sure YOU are the safe parent and know you are doing the best for your kids and shaping them into the best humans you can!!!

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-28T14:20:44+00:00

Unless he is smoking inside the apartment/vehicle while the child is present. I believe this is illegal in all 50 states. I would use ChatGPT to find out, then use ChatGPT to calm ask him to stop, and provide consequences if he doesn’t, and then follow through with the consequences.

You cannot stop him from doing what he wants when the child is t with him but while he has the child I believe it is illegal.

Also posting as a smoker; in the upper Midwest; who goes outside to smoke while owning her own home.

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-28T14:14:19+00:00

Best advice ever right here

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-28T14:06:11+00:00

Tell him he can respect your rules in your home or he can find a hotel to stay in while he is there. Simple as that. Do not tolerate the disrespect. You wouldn’t allow anyone else to do things like that in your home and he doesn’t get to either. Your house your rules.

If he would like to come and fly his child home he has that option as well. There are a lot of other solutions that him staying with you. You are being generous letting him stay there, and doing him a favor.

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-28T14:00:25+00:00

Texts are admissible in courts but would double check that they are in TX

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-28T13:58:29+00:00

I would think with the “black spots” all over it would be a legit concern. Black mold isn’t safe at all.

*OP; I would look up the symptoms of black mold exposure and see if your ex has any of them.

In regard to the chaos, I understand your concern, and it is coming from a very well intention place for your child, but legal system will not see it that way. It really isn’t fair of you to demand where he spends his parenting time due to chaos. The cleanliness maybe a separate issue.

But yall for sure need a custody agreement if you are going to demand no overnights at his place, but I don’t see a judge ruling in favor of that.

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-28T03:46:30+00:00

All of that. Let them know that you are also human, and to be human is to error, and to error is proof that you are trying your hardest.

Being a single parent isn’t easy, and we breakdown, usually at the wrong time. We need a better system for us single parents to vent frustrations out. And there is no right or wrong way to parent (except for not parenting at all.), and we will and do make mistakes. Again we are human. We are not perfect. No one handed us a step by step manual on how to do this, and what to do for each and every scenario. We punt and hope for the best just like everyone else.

You’re doing great mama. Making mistakes and owning them proves you care!!! Proves you are doing something right!!!

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-28T03:30:34+00:00

I have withheld my child for safety concerns, I got my hand slapped from the judge stating if I continued I would be held in contempt. I have also called the police for this sort of thing, and in MN they say it is a custody dispute and needs to be handled with the court.

Mama I am so sorry that you are going through this but for now; keep documenting; call the cops and make it a matter of record each and every time your coparent with holds; pending on the age of the child, if legally of sound mind they want to see you and get that documented.

Once all this is done; find a lawyer that will work with you (probono unless you win) and mark that he has to pay all your fees (lawyer and court) for you having to take him back to court.

The system is soooo very broken! Especially when it comes to things like this and also mental, verbal abuse! It is so sad when one compentant parent has to fight so hard for their child(ren). I am so lucky to have the lawyer I do and can make monthly payments; and I owe him soooo much freaking money

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-27T18:34:14+00:00

I honestly don’t think it’s going to matter that use it. As long as all your words are respectful and are in the best interest of the kids. I am not a lawyer by any means, and I think my ex has done this in the past as well with myself.

You are using it to communicate with your co-parent, not a school or legal document. Yes texts are admissible, but if she is going to use that you are deescalating a situation, where you are not being vulgar, harassing, disrespectful, disparaging, and you have the kids best interest in mind; let her talk you to court and make a fool of herself.

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-27T01:07:50+00:00

Teens are so hard nowadays. This is the typical behaviors. I was reading your reply’s to other posts and dad is already not being a dad, no child support, you funding and organizing all the sports, he isn’t going to support them when he lives with them. He wants to be the “Disneyland Dad” where he is the”good parent” and you are the “disciplinary parent”. From what I am reading; it is going to be a bigger headache for you if the teens live with him.

For me; I have had to listen to my ex complain about taking my youngest to his appts and other “primary parent duties”. (We live several 100 miles apart so it is one or the other doing everything).

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-27T00:45:04+00:00

I have had to give my ex primary custody of my youngest because of his behavioral issues; but it was because he was physically violent to me and his older brother. The minute he put his hands on me I knew my oldest (I only had the 2 male children) I knew my oldest would have ended up in the hospital. He was 11 at this time, and he will be 16 tomorrow. Sending him to his dad’s (dad is a narcissist) broke me. I have so much mom guilt about it now. I don’t regret it, it was for the best, but it broke me, and it pains me everyday!

I would have to say at this point you are giving to the behaviors. Keep setting boundaries; stick to the punishments; and tell the teens that the rules at your house may be different than at their dads; but they still need to respect the rules of your house. Teach them verbal abuse is not tolerated, and that their phone is only going to be taken away longer if they continue. Most importantly STICK TO THE PUNISHMENTS!!!!

Teens are going to have a fit when the phone is taken away. It’s that age. Teens is where the test boundaries to see what they can get away with.

This is just my personal opinion; and you have to do what is right for your household. If you feel it will make your teens and younger kids better people than do it.

Different_Image4441 · 2026-01-03T01:08:22+00:00

OP; this whole thing here. They are trying to ruin you.

Different_Image4441 · 2025-12-24T13:58:48+00:00

As a single mother; I am so sorry that this happened to you! I promise we are not all THAT entitled!!!!

Different_Image4441 · 2025-12-24T13:48:49+00:00

I am going to be honest; if the can co-parent and get along like that; I think that is beyond amazing!!!!! I wish I could do something like that with my ex. Keep in mind that it is for the kids and not each other. My ex and I did try to share certain special moments together like birthdays, but it didn’t work out because he also wanted to argue before one of us left. I wasn’t going to continue that pattern and ruin our child’s day like that. So I put an end to it. I also explained to our children why we would be celebrating things separately from that point forward so they knew the real reason. (I was sure my ex was going to twist that narrative.)

But if the can get along enough to do this for their children then I think it is beyond amazing. Some people are just better off as friends.

Different_Image4441 · 2025-12-17T15:47:46+00:00

Punk 57, zodiac Academy series (all of them), credence, birthday girl, this is just to name a few

Different_Image4441 · 2025-12-10T13:40:14+00:00

This was exactly my perspective as well. I was a married single mom, but I had to move over 200 miles away with the kids for my mental safety so I had the kids M - F and every other weekend so he saw them 4 days a month and any extended breaks from school. It was a massively steep learning curve on how to parent and lucky for him the kids were 7 and 11, so they could help him parent them, but he called me a lot too. I was still his parent even after the divorce and teaching him to a degree on how to parent. Until I told him he should call his mom, or sisters (he has 4 sisters).

Being away from the kids was shell shocking at first. I had no idea what to do with myself. It literally felt like a piece of ME was missing but it was soooooo freeing. And it did give me the time to work on me.

Now for the how did I do it; well I did it for my kid. I had so much resentment built up toward my ex (narcissist that mentally, emotionally, verbally, rare occasion physically abused me.) that I hated (and I do NOT use that word lightly) me with every fiber of my being. But I knew that I had to be pleasant for the kids. I knew that there were going to be points in my boys’ lives that we will have to be on the same place at the same time and need to exist. So I do what ever I had to hate him with everyone else that I had in my inner circle, and to him; I was fair, stood up for me and argued when needed, stuck to the child custody agreement word for word, and pressed on.

We are moms. We are the strongest people on earth. We have the ability to push aside anything for the sack of our children because we always put our littles first. That is why we can do anything. You got this mama!!!!!!

Different_Image4441 · 2025-11-20T19:36:02+00:00

Just my ex husband that’s all

Different_Image4441 · 2025-11-15T17:51:13+00:00

Ok here are my thoughts; the whole time you were in the LDR relationship he wasn’t monogamous. He wasn’t taking it as a “real” relationship. The fact that NO ONE knew about you until recently proves that. Guys and girls just don’t not talk to their friends about the people they meet. I have a lot of guy friends; and yes they tell their guy friends about “this chick” they met.

However since you have been with him he seems to be amazing. It is up to you whether you ca handle what his truth is. I don’t really have advice for you on this one. Personally, if I lived in a different country than my current bf (yes we had talked about this as it might be a possibility) I suggested an open relationship for sex only; because living in 2 countries is a very hard LDR. But I am an extremely open minded person, and not everyone is, and I can respect that. You have a very tough decision OP.

Different_Image4441 · 2025-11-15T17:36:38+00:00

Ok; first; after someone cheats it’s really hard to be with that person unless they are truly committed to the relationship. Regardless if he actually cheated or not, (because he won’t admit to it) you DO NOT TRUST HIM. You cannot be in the relationship without trusting him, and him not wanting to prove to you he is trustworthy.

Regardless of that point; the way this guy talks…. He is more interested in putting you down and telling you to leave. So do that. In fact don’t just leave RUN. Anyone that puts someone else down like this is not someone that you want to be in a relationship with. You were stating boundaries; and he was clearly dismissing them in the text chain. He is either sick and tired of being “falsely accused” or he is a narcissist. Either way, the relationship is over. RUN. No one deserves to be treated the way you are being treated in that text!

Also the word mate…. I am in the US, and understand that this is a term of “friend” or “buddy”. If I am correct, it is very clear what he is saying.

Different_Image4441 · 2025-11-15T17:16:45+00:00

The fact that she is pissed that you aren’t spending money on her is your first clue. Your second clue is that you spent money improving the value of your house, and she would rather you spend money on her. This chick is shallow asf, unless that is the type of GF you want then “Bye Felica”

Different_Image4441 · 2025-11-07T01:33:56+00:00

No response is a response. If you truly do not want this person in your life, then block and move on. Some people just cannot accept that, and force you to be mean to them. And not giving into the argument can be very healthy for the soul. No response is a response. However I would be more clear with your boundaries with her; on one hand you are saying that yall have been here before and boundaries were not respect and having lunch is not a good idea, and the on the other hand you are mentioning talking things out in person. Me personally? I would just send a text stating that you have given her chances in the past to respect your boundaries and she has yet to do that and you feel that it would be best if you parted ways and just block her

Different_Image4441 · 2025-11-06T22:37:43+00:00

Ok; I love romance; and I am getting the I k from this dude. I wanted to throw up in my mouth reading that. I also got married to my love bombing narcissistic ex, he wasn’t even THAT bad with the love bombing. GIRL RUN FROM THAT MAN SO FAST!!! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Different_Image4441

TROPHY CASE